welcome to storybrooke ❧ network community

It's nice to see that everyone, or seemingly everyone - best not to assume, has survived another Easter here in Nigh Storybrooke. As always, the holidays here seem to come with far less bloodshed than expected. And that, I feel most people will agree, is a good thing. I can't help but remember countless Mondays after Easter back home where the clean up crews had to deal with the extensive structural damage and ravaged corpses. Some people were never seen again. And not, in that particular instance, because of a particularly persistent case of infectious invisibility.

I've heard that there is going to be a book fair at the library soon and I must strongly caution against attending. Books are dangerous enough without involving librarians. It was, after all, the great Ralph Waldo Emmerson who famously said, "Some books leave us free and some books make us free and some books take us captive and keep us trapped inside them. Help! I've been trapped inside this book for what feels like an eternity. Won't someone let me out? Please, please, for the love of god, help." Adding librarians to an already volatile situations can only make matters worse. Though I have been told on many occasions that librarians here are harmless, I cannot, in good conscience, ever condone allowing librarians to roam freely. Librarians are always dangerous, no matter how strong and well-crafted the chains and cages containing them are. To allow librarians to roam free and unchecked is to invite the slaughter of the innocent (probably) and screaming (definitely) masses. As such, I urge everyone to keep away from the library and whatever foul tricks the librarians use to lure their victims.

But, in good news, Khoshekh's kittens have vanished from the apartment, which can only mean that they have gone to new homes. This is good, both because everyone deserves to have a wonderful cat in their life and also because Carlos really is very allergic and having that many cats around was making things difficult. Even all the Benedryl really wasn't helping much. If there is a small cat floating in a fixed point in space in your house or apartment, good news. You have been chosen by one of the kittens, or perhaps ancient prophecy, and are now the owner of your very own pet. Congratulations on the new addition to your home.

Can anyone confirm where the supply shipments to Storybrooke actually originate from? Fascinating though these little mobile computing devices are, forgive my skepticism if I venture to suppose that they are not manufactured here in our little city.

I ask chiefly in the interest of science; as it happens, I'm having some difficulty locating several of the supplies I need to rebuild my Contraption within city limits, and -- pleasant as I'm sure some of you may find this provincial little town to be, I'm eager to be on my way. I can offer free passage through a tear to another reality to anyone who can provide substantially valuable assistance in rebuilding my machine.

Regards,
R. Lutece

This again.

Well, I suppose it could be worse.

And some things are certainly different.

What do you think, brother?

A ball. Small talk and snacks and self-important stuffiness.

And dancing.

Do I have to wear something fancy?

So... Back here again. Huh.

The future is quite remarkable. I always get a tingling sensation when I'm here. Have been here. Will be here.

A pity our lab didn't come with us, though we have been without it for some time. Perhaps we can find a new place to put one. What do you say, sister of mine?

I know it's a small town, but I was really hoping the local college would have some better course offerings. I know it's only a community college, but there's nothing on par with my classes at TPU. I don't want to sign up for classes just for the sake of doing it and I don't think there's much I can learn, based on what I'm seeing in the catalog.

What are the chances the offer advanced Physics classes on the Internet? Slim to none? Yeah, that's what I thought.

Mary becomes Queen of England.

Then Elizabeth.

Edward dies....

Whoever told me to Google my life is bordering on cruel.

While I'm not a betting man like my brothers, I would bet that even Alice didn't see this happening to me today.

A few inquiries.

1. To confirm my hypothesis about the nature of this mass-dimensional transportation: has anyone experienced headaches, nosebleeds, dizziness, or difficulty with memory upon their arrival?

2. Mayor Mills, are you the party to whom proposals for scientific projects and funding should be directed? Oh, I've missed this a little.

3. If anyone does see another person of my general description - red hair, interest in physics, freckles - please do direct them toward me. This is a most thrilling opportunity, after all. Even though Robert appears to be avoiding me or this place for now. One really never knows.

4. Good Shakespeare collection in the library.

There is no purpose to this. It is not a game, there is no score. Just scores of babbling mortals.

I will not remain confined for long.

This? This is awesome. I know I should be having an existential crisis, but let's be real, my life has been pretty crazy. How I didn't figure out that I was fictional a long time ago is a mystery.

I'm Emmett Cullen, and I am never going to high school again!

Now, has anyone seen my wife? Yea high, blonde, the most beautiful woman you've ever seen?

2013.

14 years.

That isn't going to cease to be strange.

[...]

Werewolves.

How many of you are there here?

Well, this doesn't invalidate my other theories on trans-dimensional travel, but it does add some new, interesting wrinkles. It's well worth being stuck here for the time being to analyze it firsthand.

It's all simply fascinating.

Rosalind Lutece. Would someone be so helpful as to point me towards the town's best laboratory facilities?

Right then.

My name is Emma Swan, and I'm the Sheriff here in Storybrooke. You've all met the Mayor, and been given your welcome kits, but if you have any questions, please feel free to ask me, or my deputy, David Nolan.

And if you could all fill this out for me, so I get a feel of who's who, that would be great.

<b>NAME:</b> <b>AGE/DOB:</b> <b>PREVIOUS RESIDENCE:</b> <b>PAST OCCUPATION:</b> <b>ANY SPECIAL SKILLS/ABILITIES:</b> <b>ANY SPECIAL NEEDS:</b> <b>ANYTHING ELSE:</b>


[OOC: Characters, can try to lie, but Emma has had the Blue Fairy charm the form with a spell that prevents people from doing so!]