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Seeing as I'm in Storybrooke again and my stash of rum appears to be gone....

Hook.

I require my job at The Hanged Man again.

Is this acceptable?

I really do love this time of year.

I don't know what it is, but the autumn weather reminds me of my mother the farm I grew up on.

Ruth is going to look adorable in her Halloween costume, and even if she won't remember it I plan on taking plenty of pictures to embarrass her with later. I'm looking forward to taking her out and doing some trick-or-treating.

I should probably also take a moment to announce that I plan on running for Sheriff, and possibly making my temporary position a more permanent one.

Emma

You and Neal should come with us and bring Lily. And Henry, if he doesn't have other plans.

Snow

You and I need to have a date night soon, Mrs. Charming. I think Henry's just about old enough to earn some money babysitting, don't you?

After giving it a lot of thought, I've decided to resign as Sheriff of Storybrooke. I've enjoyed my time working with everyone but I think I would like to spend time with my family. With all the superheroes and magically gifted people in town now, we're more than equipped to handle any crisis that comes our way. Also, I'm not going anywhere so I'll still be around to help if I'm needed.

So, along with having elections for Mayor and Deputy Mayor, we will also be having elections for Sheriff.

QUALIFICATIONS FOR NOMINATIONS

• Must be over the age of 25
• Must have some sort of experience in law enforcement.
• Must have lived here for at least five months.
• Must be able to prove that you can handle the job and all of the quirks that are unique to Storybrooke.

My father David will be acting as interim Sheriff until the elections.

Good Afternoon Storybrooke!

I hope you are all doing well and can spare a moment of your time to read this announcement.

For the last 31 years I have held the title of Mayor. While Storybrooke would not exist were it not for actions I took long ago, it is not I, but all of you, who have shaped Storybrooke into the town it is today. I’ll admit that I did not have high hopes when the first group of you began arriving. In fact, I wished that we could find a quick solution and return you all back to your respective homes. But I was wrong. So, much has changed in the last 2 years, and as we move forward changes will continue to occur. I hope they will be for the better of you and our wonderful town.

The first of these changes will be a special election on November 5. This election will not only elect a Deputy Mayor -- a position we have never had -- but also open up the seat for Mayor. I have given this months of consideration. And I have spoken with those native to Storybrooke and we all agree this is a step we should take.

It is also with careful consideration, and discussions with those close to me, that I am announcing that I will be among those running. Though 31 years is a long time to sit as Mayor I have truly enjoyed the time that I have held this position. I look forward to being reelected to this seat and continuing to serve you all.

I know many of you will jump at the opportunity to seek a nomination but I must ask that you consider the responsibility you will have. Serving as Mayor is no easy task and the position of Deputy Mayor will be no easier. Especially here in Storybrooke.

As Mayor of Storybrooke you will be required to fulfill these primary duties:

Preside over all town council meetings.

Draft, Manage and Release the town budget.

Give final stamp of approval on the yearly School Curriculum for each grade level.

Listen to and address the serious concerns brought forth by Storybrooke citizens.

First and foremost, the Mayor must have the best interest of the town and its citizens at heart.

As Deputy Mayor of Storybrooke you will be required to fulfill these primary duties:

Assist the Mayor in drafting and managing the town budget.

Review the yearly School Curriculum for each grade level and pass it on to the Mayor for final approval.

Listen to all concerns brought forward by Storybrooke’s citizens.

It is the responsibility of the Deputy Mayor to determine what concerns are serious and which are not.

The Deputy Mayor will pass along all serious concerns to the Mayor and all other concerns he or she will address.

First and foremost, the Deputy Mayor, must have the best interest of the town and its citizens at heart.

Should they hear any concerns of a magical or supernatural nature, both Deputy Mayor and Mayor, should reach out to the magical community in town.


The criteria for gaining a nomination is as follows:

For Mayor:

Each candidate for Mayor must be 30 years of age or older.

Each candidate must have lived in Storybrooke for 1 year or more.

Each candidate must be in good standing with Storybrooke’s Law Enforcement

Each candidate must be vetted by a minimum of 5 current residents of Storybrooke.

One of whom who must be a member from his or her own world.

For Deputy Mayor:

Each candidate for Deputy Mayor must be 25 years of age or older.

Each candidate must have lived in Storybrooke for 6 months or more.

Each candidate must be in good standing with Storybrooke’s Law Enforcement

Each candidate must be vetted by a minimum of 3 current residents of Storybrooke.

One of whom must be a member from his or her own world.

Should a candidate be the sole representative of their world then this requirement is waived.

I look forward to standing side by side with the nominees in the days to come.

Thank you for your time.

Maine. Fairy tales. Time travel.

Right.

If this is some kind of coma dream and I wake up missing any more limbs how about one of you just take me around back, put a few in me and save me the trouble.

In honor of the return of The Hanged Man's other owner, anyone who turns up with either a decent story about something Isabela did the last time she was here - true or not - or manages to interest her enough into a good laugh or a decent tumble, they drink free until they start to seem as if they're costing us too much.

Good to have you back. Don't try to steal my ship, she can't sail anywhere anyway.

Ugh. Magic.

Had enough of that, thanks.

I've found a pirate bar. I think I'll just drink until I stop caring that I've been brought to this place.

Even though Fitz and I have had our lab set up for nearly two years, I regret to say that we haven't really accomplished much, scientifically, in that time. While that is largely due to interruptions and a bit of chaos, I do think it is well past time for that to change.

I really want to look into the magic of this place and see how it relates to scientific advancements. I fully believe that magic is just science we haven't quite worked out yet.

What the fuck?

This is a joke, right?

Never been kidnapped into a completely different reality before.

This is the coolest.

You guys are the best! ✿◠‿◠

Since everyone seems especially miserable of late, this seems a good time to remind everyone that drinking helps and that The Hanged Man can help you with your stupor needs. We also usually have someone on the door who can steer you back to your room to sleep it off with a minimum of humiliation.

Bring your doppelganger from another universe and you both get a first drink free, if I remember and happen to be there at the time.

If you're not legal and you're miserable, then you'll have to find some other way to manage your misery, but come back when you're 21, even if that law is mad.

( Filtered to Killian )

Our little town seems to be filling up rather quickly. I'll just be happy if no one else with my face shows up.

What the fuck's with the flying nun? She wasn't at all amused by my suggestion or offer to remove the stick from her arse.

Where the hell am I really? And more importantly where's the nearest bar?

Storybrooke Natives

Tomorrow I will be informing all inhabitants of our lovely town that nominations for a Deputy Mayor are now open. You are the lucky ones who get to find out early. This has been on my mind for quite some time now. And while perhaps choosing candidates from among you may be preferred by most if not all, they won't be. A large amount of the duties I will assign to our future Deputy Mayor will involve the concerns brought forth by our ever fluctuating group of guests.


OOC: Basically all OUaT-ers

Clint Barton (MCU)

How're you and your wayward adoptees doing?

For anyone fretting about it, we'll offer up walks back from the Hanged Man to where ever you're staying, so feel free to sit about and drink all you like without worry about anything but paying the tab.

But be sure and worry about that bit.

I ordered a half dozen different types of some kind of fancy whiskey that tastes like poison, but does a fantastic job of knocking you on your ass. I'd offer you a taste, Swan and Bae, but you're meant to be grown ups these days.

Anyone else fancy a try? Aramis, care to come aboard for a go?

Earlier today a body was found behind Granny's. We're working on figuring out exactly what happened so please bear with us. If you have any information, please contact us at the department.

{filtered to people with law enforcement experience}
If anyone is interested, we will happily talk all the help we can get.

{filtered to Neal}
Guess who won't be coming home anytime soon tonight?

So what kind of employment opportunities are there around here for a soldier with an art degree?

Technically the last time I held a job outside of military or special ops was in 1943..so. You could say my resume is a little dated.

ever had that feeling that you're the butt of some cruel cosmic joke? because i feel that way right now. and i'm really fucking tired of it.

Ah, the magic give, and it takes away. Here's hoping it brings back a few, and leaves off others. If the bloody thing takes orders, it'd be nice if the spells loosened up the borders a bit. I'm feeling hemmed in, these days.

[Alistair]
Shame that Isabela set sail. If you're lonely, your Kingness, you can always come by on your own, Isabela or no. I somehow doubt she'd mind.

Isabela left without saying goodbye. Sounds like she sprung a bunch of others out, too. Pirates, eh?

[ Anders ]

You're the only one I can talk to about this, and you forgot me. Figures.

[ Killian ]

Need any help running that tavern of yours? I've got enough coin saved to invest.

This sort of thing really ought to go without saying, if anyone knows me at all. But I promise I am not the man to ask after to get you a tab at the Hanged Man. I like when everyone else pays so I needn't pay for anything at all.

I'm highly doubtful that it'll work should the Jolly Roger ever get a chance to sail free seas again, but if it does, thanks to Ms. Smoak, she'll be the highest tech boat in most worlds, this one aside. It'd be a handy sort of thing to have.

[Filtered to Killian Jones]
I'd like to apologize for the ball by offering drinks.

[Filtered to Clint]
I'm going to ask the pirate out for drinks.

[Filtered to Kitty]
So, I've been meaning to get with you for a while but things haven't really been ideal for that. I heard that when I was here before I taught some dance classes at the youth center. I was wondering if I could pick that back up? I was also thinking some self defense would be good too.

I am really not used to having so much time to myself. I think it's starting to finally get to me.

Snow just reminded me that I forgot to do this.  I've been a bit busy, sorry.

( cut for picture )

Her name is Ruth.  I'm in love.

I am not sure where I am or how I got here. I was told by someone who carried herself much like a sister of the Chantry that I may have friends here.

The things this world considers entertainment is amazing.

They are making a movie about the Suicide Squad. Dig would flip.

Anyway, on to a far less confusing topic. I need help choosing a dress for the ball. This one or this one or this last one. I really like this one but I think it's a bit too fancy for me.

Does this town never get tired of balls and group affairs? There's always such a potent potential for disaster at work, you'd think it would put us all off the idea. Not that I'm complaining about the amount of cleavage and finery usually on display at such things, but still. Practicality.

Since she's forever cast in harbor as it is, I think I'll start work on modernizing the Jolly Roger a bit - bring a touch of the modern world to an old magic ship for the next time whim sends us off to another world. Anyone care to help?

Anyone up for drinks? I could use a distraction.

So, magic's back. That's a thing.

And...uh...Emma had the baby.

I totally meant to post something or tell people. But...I kind of panicked?

Quel est cet endroit? Où suis-je?

Une femme a tenté d'expliquer, mais je ne sais pas quoi croire. Tout cela semble trop étrange pour être vrai. Je suis Aramis des mousquetaires du roi. Quelqu'un peut-il s'il vous plaît expliquer comment je suis arrivé à être dans cette ville?

Not that I'm inclined, but if someone were prone to mutiny this would be an excellent time to take over the town and create a monarchy, given the lack of magic and related nonsense.

I imagine there's a few ladies in town who would make excellent queens and haven't had a go yet.

This place is quaint and strange. I'm not sure that I like it.

I understand it is not possible to return to my ship?

Anyone care for a few hands of cards? It's not got the same satisfying clink to it, taking money instead of gold or goods, but it's still fun enough.

Some of the folks getting drunk at our bar fancy poker, but if there's another game of choice, I can learn to take all your money in another one, too.

Swan, aren't you meant to be the arm of the law around here? Explosions on your watch, and not even caused by dragons or magic gone awry. You should be ashamed. I expected so much more from you.

You should come see your poor husband and I at the bar and watch us drink while you can't. It can be your pennance.

I miss flying.

Is there a place in this town where a guy can rent a plane?

((after she's found Lissa and stuff))

So, I've apparently been transported from Montana to Maine by a magic portal, I've been here before, even though I don't remember it and there's some kind of barrier around this place that keeps us from leaving.

It's really sad that I have to admit I've actually had stranger days.

Anyway, hi, I'm Rose Hathaway. If I knew you before, sorry I don't remember you.

Weirdest birthday ever. Hands down.

So now that I'm no longer frowning over disappeared crew members and pretty blonde scientists this is a warning that I'm probably going to start hitting on everything that moves again. And is of legal age. I mean, luckily, I'm spending my time between a couple of bars because... gorgeous pirates.

The weather is warm, the days are bright, and the winds are perfect to sail out and find someone carrying an unwieldy amount of goods and gold they need help being relieved of.

Of course when there's nowhere to sail to, that just makes it a tease.

Bae, tell one of the attractive blond people you hire that we're almost out of that bourbon I fancy. You do have a type, don't you? I think there may be five of them, though I might have been seeing double once. Unless that was your hiring, Isabela?

Everyone is always bored or missing people on this thing. Including me. So screw it.

Top five people in town you'd sleep with. Everyone tell me theirs. (I don't care if they're married/dating/into the wrong gender/from a world where they're actually a rabbit. It doesn't have to make sense.)

No picking people who aren't here anymore, because then it's not as funny.

Filtered: Killian Jones and Isabela

My friend Claudine was asking about a Halloween party for us adults since the kids are having their dance and it occurred to me that it could be good business. Y'all might even already be planning something, but if not, what do you think?

It's strange to be living somewhere with actual seasons. We had seasons in Bon Temps, but nothing like this. I'm looking forward to getting to see some snow, assuming we're stuck here that long.

In accordance with Talk Like a Pirate Day, The Hanged Man will be having drink specials going all day and all night long. Isabela, Jack, and myself will all be there. Come in and have a bit of rum, mate. Free rum to the ones who amuse us the most.

[Hanged Man staff]
Do to the loss of some staff members and Sam having the night off for the full moon, we will be needing all hands on deck.

So it would seem that with the sudden decision on the portals part to send several people back, the Hanged Man is short handed and once again hiring. We still have a full staff of bartenders but are in need of a new waitress or two and could still use some help in the kitchens if anyone is interested.

Elizabeth is gone...

This is almost as bad as when she burned the rum.

You know, most of the fashions here are boring or impractical.

Lingerie, however, now that is fun.

There's Wonderland rejects here, and a Hatter who isn't me.

The other realities were always spin off of our own. There might be doubles or triples or starts and restarts. But in every reality I was in, there were no Snow Whites, no Hatters, no Queens of Hearts who weren't in stories based on ours. The Enchanted Forest, Neverland, Wonderland, the world without color. They all orbited out from ours, everywhere I went. We were the core. The stories came from us, however warped they got.

Now we might be just another layer.

How deep does the rabbit hole go?

We might actually be screwed.

On the up side, maybe that means there's a reality where the Evil Queen is in a dungeon manned by trolls, and Wonderland was destroyed.

The cool day we are having speaks of fall settling in. About now is when I would normally be preparing to sail off for warmer waters. I do not fancy weathering out the winter. Alas what is one to do.

[Filtered to Rebekah Mikaelson]
How are you, luv?

[Filtered to Bae Neal Cassidy]
How are you settling back in?

Also, I need you to change the scheduling for the bar to give Sam Merlotte the nights of the full moon off.

[Filtered to Henry Mills]
How are you, lad? Everything going okay?

Never thought I'd feel safer being in a pirate bar than at my home I liked my night off but I'm glad to be back at work tonight.

[Private to The Hanged Man owners]
I forgot to mention that I can't work full moon's. Well I can but I'd rather not. Too tempting to shift those nights Any other nights I'm good though.

[Private to Captain Jack Sparrow and Jo Harvelle]
If either of you want a night off and the bosses are alright with it, I'll cover.

[Claudine Crane]
Have you talked to Sookie lately? I died Eric's here

[Eric Northman]
I didn't know I wouldn't have asked her too

Right. So.

This is an...alternate universe sort of place. Not the Nevernever, but...a place that draws people from all different universes and dimensions. And apparently, from fiction...or from...universes where fiction is reality?

And there are all sorts of supernatural things here. Vampires, werewolves, wizards, witches, superheroes, faeries, not to mention the Winter Knight and the Winter Lady.

Just...wow.

It's almost as weird as the Nevernever.

Filtered to Captain Hook

Congratulations on the opening of your new bar.

End Filter

Filtered to Elijah and Niklaus Mikaelson

I'm sure you're aware of the number of slayers in this town. Not that it completely matters on our end, but I might have a way to find out how many of them know our situation.

End Filter

I have to say, it's good to be back.

Wasn't sure I'd ever make it back, to be honest

Think I could get set up with one of those apartments, Em? I'm not sure staying at Granny's again is the best option. It was fine when I was planning on heading back to Manhattan, but even if I could leave, I think it's time to put down some roots.

( Emma )

Maybe you could join me there. You and Henry both.