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Gwen Stefani would have made an excellent bard.

So, one minute I'm kicking ass on a giant demon spider, and the next I'm in...  Maine?  What's a Maine???

This world is quite strange and it has many things about it which I cannot begin to comprehend.

But showers? Showers are amazing.

Well, the Maker certainly does have a sense of humor, doesn't he?

This is...well...I can't say I'm certain what to think of it.

Marian? Are you about? If anyone would find themselves in a strange other world, it would be you. Or at least I hope it would. Having you around would really be helpful.

[Filtered to Thedas people/Honorary Thedosians]

Me and Dorian broke up. Mutual decision.

Maker's breath, this is more than a bit odd, and that's coming from someone who wandered about the Fade. But hey no one's tried to kill me yet, so there's that. I'm Hawke.

Isabela left without saying goodbye. Sounds like she sprung a bunch of others out, too. Pirates, eh?

[ Anders ]

You're the only one I can talk to about this, and you forgot me. Figures.

[ Killian ]

Need any help running that tavern of yours? I've got enough coin saved to invest.

A slow, quiet life has never suited me. Anyone here up for a bit of wrestlin'? I can feel my bones aging from all this sittin' around.

This place is magnficent! It has so many shops, so many types of cocoa and milk! So many kinds of drinks. I have found one named tequila. It's almost as good at the stuff back home. So many kinds of ale! And everything is in one place! Most amusing.

However the doors are short and very narrow. Was this place built only for the smaller races?

I am called The Iron Bull, and yes, the horns are real. I really need to find some horn balm.

This whole vacation thing is starting to chafe on me. Don't get me wrong, I'm enthusiastically fine with none of my friends being hunted down by darkspawn and blood mages, so yeah, thanks for that. Less paper wasted on bad news. It's just—you don't get used to moving every few years without feeling a little bit like this is actually a Fade trick, and oh, surprise! You've been dead this whole time. No Andraste's fiery bosom to rest on, sorry.

Anyway, snapchat. We need this thing in Thedas. Can I bring it back with me?

(  cut not ic & (safe) pics ahead!  )

Bethany! Are we making a bonfire tonight or not? I found puffy melty things to roast.

[Dorian Pavus]
I apologize for the events of the ball. It was not intentional.
[/Dorian]

[Isabela]
I blame you for the ball and am not going anywhere else you atemt to take me.
[/Isabela]

It has been some time since I've been unable to just pick up and leave when it is time to move on. The caged feeling was not missed.

Would anyone care to babysit a set of twins tomorrow night?

( Padme )

Will you accompany me to dinner tomorrow night?

You know, the last time I woke up in the middle of a group of strangers with no idea how I got there, there were much less clothes involved. Maker, that was a good night. Between the pirate and that lay-warden with the griffin tattoo...

So, does anyone want to explain this place?

What in tarnation is going on? Someone meets me, hands me this outdated piece of tech and tells me I can't leave... Kid, you better be here and explain what kind of madness you got us up to now. Least we're on earth, not stuck out in outer space again. Good to have my feet on solid ground but we're a few hundred miles north of where my feet prefer.

[ Dragon Age Crew ]

Hi! Hawke here. Seems like a lot of us are showing up from the ass end of Thedas these days, which kind of ruins my big entrance, but fine. I can work with that. Never let it be said the Champion isn't gracious.

Thing is, we're all squashed together in a tiny space right now, and it feels a lot like bringing a Chantry Brother to the Blooming Rose with two smugglers and a very hungry mabari. Awkward, right? Yeah. Thought so. Either we learn how to make friends with each other like not-demons or we end up with lots of yelling and probably red lyrium. Trust me: not worth it.

Still with me? Good, because you're going to help me now. My plan: everyone picks a job they want to work on that can help the rest of us. Make potions, cook meals, sew scarves—I don't care, it's up to you. If we're all forced to work together, we'll be too busy doing nice things to have time for setting things on fire. Unless you're a dragon, then carry on.

If you're opting out of this, I'll need a Maker's balls-sized good reason why or else I'm making you dance in front of everyone wearing an outfit of Isabela's choice. You don't want that.

This place is quite different from Lothering. It is a lot to take in.

A woman gave me this box and showed me how to use it. She said it was a means to communicate with people. She also said that she thought my sister might be here.

Marian? Are you here? Are Carver and Mother here too?

This won't be at all uncomfortable

It would seem there have been quite a few arrivals from Thedas recently. I haven't exactly been keeping track of how many want me dead, but I imagine it is a fair few

( nate )

Try not to shoot anyone. Even if they say unpleasant things, I probably deserve them.

( hawke )

Bets on who attempts to murder me first? I know you love a good wager.

( fenris )

How are you settling in here? I hope Isabela and Hawke haven't gotten you into too much trouble.

( solas )

Justice is willing to speak with you. You had said that you wished to, before you would agree to help separate us.

I am not sure where I am or how I got here. I was told by someone who carried herself much like a sister of the Chantry that I may have friends here.

I'm glad this holiday season is pretty much over.

You know what I miss? Space. Also my crew. Holidays were a sucky reminder.

( The post is just an upload of a video of Cullen typing something on his phone, then looking horrified and embarrassed and frantically flailing about and swearing while typing more things. You're welcome, Cullen. )

I wish to buy a miniature giant space hamster. I've seen the hamsters in the store here, but I've been having trouble trying to figure out how to tell the difference between the average hamster from the ones from space. Not even magic will tell me the difference and my familiar is absolutely no help in this case, because all he wants to do is eat them. Does anyone have any other methods of knowing the differences between hamsters or will I need to forgo my dreams of taking my own new space hamster home to mate with my friend's to create a new breed of miniature giant space hamsters for any heroes willing to travel with a furry creature in their pocket?

I can make no sents of this place.

They said there are people I know here and that this is how I talk to them?

Even for magic this is nonesense.

Hear ye, hear ye! Good? citizens of Storybrooke, lend me your spirit box things!

FREE DRINKS! I REPEAT: FREE DRINKS.

Stop by the Hanged Man today and I'll cover your first two. The pretty people get three. Hell, come back later and I'll buy everyone's round, I don't know. I'm not the type to limit myself. Just don't bleed on anything, yeah? I think I'm Blood and beer: Not as fun as it sounds, kids.

Hate to admit it, but this place is much better than where I'm from.

No one's trying to kill me. Nothing's on fire. No crazed lunatics attempting to take over the city. I could go on, but I've got new things to explore.

Also no more sweating my ass off. Whoever invented this air conditioning thing is a genius.

Okay I have had an absolute enough of being kidnapped. I know what they told me, but if some kind of mob is behind this - or some other kind of awful crime thing, I can assure you. You're not going to get a dime out of anyone. And I won't be kidnapped for me to fix up your wounded hitmen.

And I swear to God if Mycroft Holmes is behind this, I will hurt you.

Well, that was dramatic. I think I told a strange but very understanding girl at the bar my life story. It was very long and I'm sure not that fascinating from her end. I apologize. And I apologize with more fervor if I said anything awkward. My decision making process during times of excessive honestly mostly involve drinking until I hopefully didn't remember anything true to say. I think it was a mixed bag, results wise. But thankfully it did at least make the memory of what I said fuzzy.

Though I think I might have overstepped the bounds of "free drinks" that knowing one of the owners approaches. I should likely find some kind of job. I have very hire-able skills, I'm sure. I just haven't discovered them.

Neria, the Mabari have taken over my room and I think they're plotting something. I'd worry, but they seem to like us still, so we're probably safe from whatever nefarious plans they have.

[Isabela]
Now that you can lie about it, how goes your alarming attachment to royalty? Has he ordered any of your exes beheaded yet? I would order everything beheaded if I were a king. I wouldn't have them carry through the order, but that would be the first response to everyone asking me things.

I am a terrible man and a fool.

And I am sorry.

And I would like to be drunk now.

If anyone sees a metal Lion cat walking down main street, don't panic.

He won't hurt you. He just got loose when I opened the door.

I am a vampire too, and I have a power that is at once so amazing but frightening too and I am afraid I will not survive it.

I feel the need to confess that I'm in love with two women. The first woman is the woman who ruined my brothers life for 500 years, and the second is is the woman he inadvertently got pregnant. I love them both.

Why are there chickens in our apartment, Sherlock?

If someone has lost some chickens, apparently we have them in our apartment.

I really hope someone lost these chickens.

I suppose elven magic mirrors aren't all their reputation makes them out to be. They said that people would be able to hear me through this ridiculous contraption.

Do people really live in a place such as this? It's abysmal.

This just in, space still sucks.

I really thought this place was a hallucination. I mean, fairytales? It should be a hallucination. I'm glad it's not

Who's still here?

How is this even possible?

I do love meeting new people. It makes things interesting.

Glenn, you were very sweet. I'm not much for second times, but you should come by the bar for a drink on me.

Less literally this time.

Jess is gone.

I'm not really sure what friends she had outside of people from home, so this seemed like the easiest way to let people know.

I wish I could say I was surprised by this, but it's pretty par for the course

( Natasha - 616 )

How are you settling in?

I know this place is pretty weird, even for us, so I figured I'd check.

( Carol )

Hey.

I know you don't remember everything, but you and Jess were friends and...want to go grab a milkshake or something? I could honestly use a friend right now.

( Francis )

Looks like it's just you and me, kiddo.

( Katie-Kate )

Love sucks. Want to shoot things?

I get turned into a kid and people I know start showing up.

I want to get drunk, sleep with my boyfriend and go flying. Doesn't have to be in that order.

I'm just going to hide until this is fixed. I don't want to hurt anyone

Apparently I was acquainted with a pirate when I was here before, and opened a tavern.

I must say, that is the easiest that I've gotten a job. He just showed up and told me that I had a place to work. Not that I plan on doing much working, but hanging about a bar is something I'm very good at.

Well, this is strange and new and not at all disconcerting.

To whoever owns the metal vehicle of strange shape that is colored like a slightly rotted tomato, I apologize for the dog. There is a lot of new territory and he has strong opinions on how much marking is needed to make it his own.

A young woman named Jessica has just fallen out of the sky, and seems confused about it. I blame the absurdly tall buildings nearby. Neither of us are quite sure what to do about the plummet, though she seems unconcerned about the buildings.

The woman who greeted me - not the one who fell on my head, the one who showed me this device - said there were others I knew here? So ... hello?

Still a better welcome than Kirkwall.

Time-traveling magic portal, huh? Can't say that's really the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me, but it maybe falls in the top twenty. Maybe. I've never made a list of weird things that've ever happened to me. Though maybe I should one of these days. Right now, I'm mostly curious as to what kind of magic there is here, I can feel a lot of types, all different from mine.

Sorry, I'm rambling. I'm Willow Rosenberg.

Hello?

Is this working?

The woman who explained this place to me told me that I could use this box to speak with people. But I'm not certain I'm doing it right.

Mother? Marian? Carver? Are you here as well?

Fantastic.

Apparently this device doesn't appreciate the jiggery pokery of the sonic. What kind of rubbish is this then? Was only trying to boost the signal to reach my ship.

Seems I'm stuck here. Genius, me, getting stuck some place. It's what I deserve, I suppose, when in the middle of chasing a Slitheen I think, oh, look, there's a portal, I'll just have a quick pop then get back to it.

So, what's this then, with the portals? And don't say magic.

You know, most of the fashions here are boring or impractical.

Lingerie, however, now that is fun.

I would like to set up a clinic, if that acceptable, for those who are uncomfortable with traditional methods of healing. I am a mage, and a healer, and I see no reason not to use my gifts to aid people. I know that I find myself ill at ease with the way doctors in this time and place work, and I am sure that there are others who do as well. If nothing else, I am more than happy to heal people from my flat, if they wish.

Anders, I would be ever so grateful if you would assist me in this.

This place is certainly not where I expected to end up after the leaving the Deep Roads. I would have assumed transportation to a realm other than the Fade was beyond the abilities of magic.

It has come to my attention that there is a large magical community in this town, and yet no shop or any good place for resources! So with that in mind I will be seeing about opening up a magical supply shop, given that running one is the only job I've ever had, and I hope to open soon. After I get things. Like licences and so forth.

So, I found the story ... game ... thing based on me. I don't know what I'm supposed to do with it, though. It's supposed to do something to the television machine? But it's just sitting here not doing anything. I can't even read it. It's just shiny.

Speaking as sort of an expert on the whole finding yourself in a world where you exist in a tv show, I feel like I should give out some pointers. I'm pretty sure these translates to all media.

- Don't Watch Your Show. (Read your book, Your Comic..etc).
- Don't google your name.
- Stay away from fans.
- Don't read anything they might have written.
- Don't look up actors.

Trust me, it'll just mess with your head. Obviously, these are just suggestions but trust me, you'll thank me.

Hello, everyone. For those of you more recently arrived, I'm Mayor Mills. I thought I should remind all of you of a few pertinent facts as the summer comes to a close and we all prepare for the beginning of the year.

( First of all, all new arrivals... )

( Second, all minors... )

( Third, the population of newcomers has grown... )

Finally, I want to personally express my condolences to all those who have lost a loved one to the recent rash of portal-related disappearances. Loss is hard even under ordinary circumstances, but for many of you, these are especially difficult. I'd like to take this opportunity to open the floor to any questions you might have regarding magic in Storybrooke or the portals themselves. Unless they're stupid or obvious, in which c