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As this is my third Thanksgiving in Storybrooke, one of the greater celebrations of our shameful imperialist history and the damage it wrought, I think I'm becoming more familiar with the customs here. And I do enjoy celebrating with my Carlos. I am, obviously, very thankful for him. I still miss home, of course, and the great traditions there. There's much less gore in the parades here, but that's a good thing. I really am pretty squeamish. I probably would have just covered my eyes and got Carlos to explain what was happening to me. He's a scientist, so bloodshed really doesn't bother him overly much.

I've been practicing cooking to be ready for the holiday, and I think my efforts have been pretty successful if I do say so myself. I gave Khoshekh some of the scraps from my experiments and, judging by the unholy noises he made, he really liked them. I even took some pictures, I was just that proud. The pictures, not being of cats, will probably not be fatal to anyone.

( pictures! )

I placed some of the dishes on traditional hay bales, as is custom. That I made up. Because I found a bunch of hay bales in the apartment and wasn't sure what else to use them from.

I really am looking forward to Thanksgiving.

Three years ago today, I met the love of my life. Of course, he didn't know that then. And I guess I didn't know how things would go then either. But I did love him instantly. How could I not? He was perfect and wonderful and had perfect hair and a perfect smile with perfect teeth like a military cemetery. He was a scientist and he was easily the most fascinating person I ever met. I have to admit, I wasn't entirely smooth. I'm often not smooth. Also, three years ago today, we discovered there was a vast, underground civilization miles beneath the earth, below the pin retrieval area of lane 5 at the Desert Flower Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex. And the Dog Park, which no one can enter or look at or think about and which contains numerous hooded figures who are also not to be looked at or thought about, opened. It was an exciting day.

Two years ago today, I started dating the love of my life. This was, of course, after he nearly died in an attack by the vast underground city...which was actually a very tiny city ten feet below the earth inhabited by tiny people who worship a god called Huntokar. Or I guess we didn't actually start dating in the sense of going on dates until a month after that, but that night he let me know that he returned my affections. Also, shortly after that, we ended up here in Storybrooke. It was an adjustment, to be sure. Storybrooke is so very strange compared to my home. The schoolboard doesn't even have a glowing cloud that throws down dead animals as a member, and there are no mysterious lights or ominous hooded figures. And people seem to think Lee Marvin is dead. But we made it work.

One year ago today...well, really two entirely different things happened one year ago today, but such is the reality of being taken to another dimension. At home, in Night Vale, we overthrew the sinister corporatic regime of Strexcorp Synernists Incorporated, with the help of the massive winged figures all named Erika, with a K, who are definitely not angels, a masked army from a desert otherworld, my friend and former intern Dana and the pre-teen band of vigilantes led by Tamika Flynn. The man I love was trapped in the same desert otherworld the masked army came from after he saved the town. And Dana became the new mayor after an election in which she did not run, defeating Hiram McDaniels, the literal five-headed dragon, and the Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives in Your Home. It was an eventful day, but also a sad one. And a year ago here, I married the love of my life. That was an infinitely happier day.

And today, on this day now, while much is happening back home, I'm sure, I am happy to know that I have been married to Carlos, the perfectly imperfect love of my life, for a year. Meanwhile, back home, I'm sure many things are happening that are amazing or terrifying or some mixture of the two. I'm sure people are living and dying existing somewhere between those two. I'm sure Carlos and I both are doing at least one of those things, perhaps in different places or times or both, but perhaps reunited. Even as our lives take two very different paths, here and there or there plural, I can hold on to all the good we've had together.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I love my husband. And that June 15 is and always will be a wonderful and special day to me. And that the universe is a wildly unpredictable and frequently horrifying place with no rhyme or reason and no clear path, so we should all really just hold on to the things we have and hope that the future is less horrifying than it could be. Enjoy your lives and hold on to what and who you love, because life is short and awful and beautiful and frequently on fire. And at any moment you could die. Any given moment your life could end, most likely in a horrible accident with a bandsaw.

It's nice to see that everyone, or seemingly everyone - best not to assume, has survived another Easter here in Nigh Storybrooke. As always, the holidays here seem to come with far less bloodshed than expected. And that, I feel most people will agree, is a good thing. I can't help but remember countless Mondays after Easter back home where the clean up crews had to deal with the extensive structural damage and ravaged corpses. Some people were never seen again. And not, in that particular instance, because of a particularly persistent case of infectious invisibility.

I've heard that there is going to be a book fair at the library soon and I must strongly caution against attending. Books are dangerous enough without involving librarians. It was, after all, the great Ralph Waldo Emmerson who famously said, "Some books leave us free and some books make us free and some books take us captive and keep us trapped inside them. Help! I've been trapped inside this book for what feels like an eternity. Won't someone let me out? Please, please, for the love of god, help." Adding librarians to an already volatile situations can only make matters worse. Though I have been told on many occasions that librarians here are harmless, I cannot, in good conscience, ever condone allowing librarians to roam freely. Librarians are always dangerous, no matter how strong and well-crafted the chains and cages containing them are. To allow librarians to roam free and unchecked is to invite the slaughter of the innocent (probably) and screaming (definitely) masses. As such, I urge everyone to keep away from the library and whatever foul tricks the librarians use to lure their victims.

But, in good news, Khoshekh's kittens have vanished from the apartment, which can only mean that they have gone to new homes. This is good, both because everyone deserves to have a wonderful cat in their life and also because Carlos really is very allergic and having that many cats around was making things difficult. Even all the Benedryl really wasn't helping much. If there is a small cat floating in a fixed point in space in your house or apartment, good news. You have been chosen by one of the kittens, or perhaps ancient prophecy, and are now the owner of your very own pet. Congratulations on the new addition to your home.

[Filtered against Peeta]

Can someone tell me about this holiday? Valentine's day?

Well, it's Christmastime again.

And during this season, it is important to remember that "Santa" is a CIA-created myth. "Santa" is actually drugged government bears. If you see "Santa", run screaming into the night. "Santa" probably won't harm you, but it's always best to run screaming from the unknown. And from the known. Generally, running screaming is fantastic exercise. If you can't run, I would recommend aggressively refusing to believe "Santa" is there. That usually works.

You can now return to your regularly, or perhaps irregularly, scheduled lives.

The quiet, slightly decomposing visitors with no regard for personal space seem to be gone now, replaced by snowfall and ice on the streets. This leaves us to wonder, did they dissolve and turn into snow? Or was snow simply their natural deterrent? Did the snow cause them to melt into the ground? We may never know the answer. Of course, either way it is highly unusual. Everyone knows that "zombies" aren't real, and if they were, they would be resistant to extreme cold. Perhaps, these creatures were a product of our collective imagination and vanished when we chose to think of other things.

Whatever the cause of the snow, it probably isn't the castle made of ice in the middle of the park, and we should just ignore it and pretend it isn't there until it isn't.

In any case, it would probably be a good idea to wear a heavy jacket. And maybe some gloves and a scarf. And be careful on that ice. I hear there may be snow plows soon. If that's the case, I pray everyone will be safe from those murderous beasts. Snow plows, after all, are simply winter's equivalent of streetcleaners, and everyone knows the dangers of those.

Also, I'm making hot chocolate. With extra cumin, guajillo chilies, and extra nutmeg. I love nutmeg, and not just for it's poisonous nature and hallucinogenic properties. Anyway, the hot chocolate should be wonderful. Just like my mother used to make it. I think. I don't actually remember my mother, so I am largely working on assumptions here. But, you know what they say. If you can't assume things about your dead relatives, who can you?

Oh! And, this is very exciting. Khoshekh and his kittens are here. They appeared via portal in one of the spare bedrooms this afternoon. Carlos, of course, has to avoid the room, because of his allergies, but so far everything is fine. Khoshekh and the kittens are hovering in the air at various heights and seem very happy with their new home.

Happy Indigenous Peoples Day!

I think it's important to focus not on a racist embarrassment of a holiday that celebrates the victimization of countless people, but on those people who have been harmed by imperialist colonial mindsets and celebrating their perseverance and ability to endure through all they've suffered.

That's all, really. I normally have more to say about holidays, but I think that's all that really needs to be said.

I hate this radio contraption.

It plays such catchy songs.

Well, that certainly wasn't fun.

I haven't had something like that happen since the last time I got laryngitis.

What day is it?

Carlos and I are finally married. I'm now, officially, Cecil Gershwin Palmer-TheScientistMendoza. And I have to say, I could not be happier.

The ceremony was lovely, even if there was some confusion over the incorporation of bloodstone circles. Dana, Amy, it was so great having the both of you there.

We went for pie at the diner, rather than having a reception. Then Carlos and I did what all married couples do. We went out to the park to stare into the void and scream in existential terror. And that was beautiful, because in that moment we were terrified together. And then we had sex. Because obviously. I mean can you blame me? Have you seen Carlos? And he's my husband now!

It was wonderful. And it will continue to be wonderful because how could it possibly ever cease to be so.

I'm getting married in two weeks!

I'm so excited. I've been marking every day off my calendar. I know that's silly, since time isn't real, and concepts like "days" and "weeks" are really relative. Still, I'm really excited about the eventuality.

I mean, I'm sure everyone already knows this. I might have mentioned it once or twice a broadcast on the radio. But it's still nice to say it here.

( Carlos )

How is my perfect and wonderful fiance today?

The weather is really nice lately. I'm not sure what else to talk about. Things here are calm. Honestly, they're too calm. I'm used to more disasters. I keep expecting something terrible to happen. Not that I want something terrible to happen, I just expect it.

Still, it's nice to be here with Carlos. And Dana. And I've made friends from other places too. In many ways, it's preferable to dealing with the corporate overlords currently overtaking Night Vale.

( Carlos )

Let's get married on June 15.

I just think it would be incredibly romantic. After all, we met two years ago on June 15, and I fell instantly and irrevocably in love with you. And then, a year ago on June 15, you finally returned my affections. Yes, this was directly preceded by you nearly being murdered by an army from a very tiny city of very tiny people and the Apache Tracker actually dying. But still. There's nothing I can think of that would be more romantic than marrying you on the anniversary of everything truly important in our relationship. Well, other than our first date. And the first time we had sex. And our first trip through a portal to another reality as a couple. And the first time we moved in together. Which actually happened back home, because memories. And the first time we both got sent back home separately then returned separately, leading you to propose marriage. But besides all that.

Has Abraham Lincoln always been a vampire hunter?

I need to brush up on my American history.

Either that, or this movie is lying to me.

This doesn't even make the top ten list for weirdest things to happen to me this week. That makes me reconsider my life choices.

Anyway, hi. I'm Alcatraz and I break things. Way to sound like you're at AA, self

I was quite sure that this place existed only in my mind.

I suppose I need to catch up. I'm Dana.

Has it truly only been a day? It feels like so much longer.

But then, I suppose that as much as it's been a day, it's also been six and a half months.

Well, all of that is assuming that time is real, and we all know it isn't. Still, this is almost as bad as that time that eons on the subway turned out to only be four minutes.

It was nice to go home, though I find I strangely missed this place in some ways. Night Vale certainly has its charms, namely Carlos, but I really do like it here even though this place rarely makes any sort of sense.

You know, I was looking forward to a Valentine's Day that wasn't horrifying, violent and bloody. It just felt like it would be a nice change. Something different. From what everyone said, Valentine's outside of Night Vale is sweet and romantic.

But...I don't know. Mostly it's just lonely. And depressing. I think I would take horror and bloodshed and overwhelming existential terror over this.

But maybe I'm just being maudlin.

I miss Carlos.

I also miss having an intern. But that's a little different.

Annie and Finnick are gone. I hate

Gale, Madge, you guys are still here, right? Peeta, I know I just saw you this morning, but please tell me you haven't disappeared, too.

I really thought nothing could be worse than Dana disappearing back through a portal to a plane of existence not aligned in space and time.

I was mistaken.

Carlos being taken back through a portal is infinitely worse.

Even cat videos don't help.

I fear for him if he's where I'm not

I was trying to think of ways to explain Valentine's Day traditions outside of Nightvale to my boyfriend but some of them are just as bizarre. Not as violent but just as bizarre. Such as....

In some countries, a young woman may receive a gift of clothing from a prospective suitor. If the gift is kept, then it means she has accepted his proposal of marriage

If a guy buys you some nice shoes on Valentine's day, ladies, make sure to ask him if he's trying to propose or just thinks you'd look nice in them.

Some days I really do miss Dana. Most days, honestly.

( carlos )

Carlos, my love, I have to ask...do people outside Night Vale not consume one another's hearts for Valentine's Day.

I only ask because I'll need to think of a different gift for you if that's the case.

Also, I might have distressed someone.

What is this Valentine's Day that everyone keeps talking about? I've never heard of it back home.

It's really beginning to feel like Christmas around here. I can practically smell that mix of gingerbread, mulled wine and existential despair that calls to mind the season.

I do wonder if, given the barriers surrounding the town, Santa Claus will show up. Not, of course, that the real Santa Claus is a jolly old man who comes bringing gifts. Everyone knows Santa Claus is really a drugged-up government bear used as an experiment by the CIA. Still, it's very much a part of Christmas, and it wouldn't be the same without Santa.

Speaking of Christmas, darling Carlos, would you like to go to this ball with me? I'm not sure which of us should wear the dress, but I'm open to either way.

I'm not really certain how we're meant to celebrate Thanksgiving this year. Assuming you believe in concepts like years and celebrations and certainty. There's no Brownstone Spire for us to grovel on our bloody knees after crawling through the desert and give thanks for all it has done and not done and hope it accepts our words so we can carry on with our lives. Is there a great, looming spire anywhere that you all use as a substitute?

It's funny. Or not funny, really.

I think I miss Dana more than I did when she was trapped in the Dog Park and then in a house that didn't actually exist and then possibly not existing herself. Maybe because then I'd gotten used to her being gone but knowing she was okay. And now I'd gotten used to her being back and she's gone again and I'm not used to it any more and I don't know if she's okay. I hope she's okay.

Who knows. Maybe she's back in Night Vale and once again existing in the correct alignment of space and time. Or maybe she died horribly. I suppose anything is possible.

Magic. Right. I'm just going to go ahead and call bullshit on this one. It's either the angels screwing with me again or one of their pissed off big brothers.

How'd you Michael to shut up?

As lovely as my boyfriend was as a woman, I am rather glad that he is back to being himself. This town really is as strange as Nightvale and I mean that in a good way.

Anyway, Halloween is coming up. I'm excited to see what this place has in store for us all.

Well, this is a little unexpected. Usually you have to fill out paperwork for this kind of thing, or at least receive some kind of advanced notice.

I'm reminded of high school. We were encouraged to swap bodies with classmates of the opposite gender to promote better understanding of one another. It was very successful. Maybe that's what's going on here.

( Carlos )

This won't be inconvenient, will it, my darling Carlos? I know that you didn't sign up for dating a woman, or rather someone currently possessing a female body and the things that entails, but I like to think our relationship is more about what's on the inside. And I really feel that my internal organs are largely similar to how they were before. Especially my heart, which is - as always - yours. We really should talk about trading them so you can keep mine. I know it's a big step, but I really feel like we have something special Now probably isn't the time for that kind of discussion

( Dana )

Can I borrow some clothes? Also, can we go shopping?

Since I promised my boyfriend that I would stay away from the portals, I was wondering if anyone might have a photograph of one? I realize this sounds like a strange request but I'd like to see one. I'd like to see if it appears as the border around the town does.

Also, I have an interview at the college and one at the high school for a teaching position. Hopefully, I will be employed soon. I'm not good at sitting around.

Are you sure this isn't Desert Bluffs? Please say it's not.

This place is really confusing.

You know that you've become far too used to strange when a perfectly lovely normal town is unsettling normal. Hello! I'm Carlos...There wouldn't happen to be a Cecil here? Handsome man, lovely voice?

Oh dear. It would appear that I've once again stepped into another world.

This one has much less blood and viscera than the last one, which is of course a positive thing.

Still, I do worry what the Sheriff's Secret Police and the City Council will think of this, not to mention Station Management. It's terribly unprofessional of me to abandon my post. And Carlos! Oh, I hope he's not worried. Of course, he probably is worried. He does worry about a great many things. He's wonderful like that.