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What the fuck.

How the fuck is my son supposed to save man kind from Gabriel and his army if we're in a fairytale town?

fuck yeah, i can do magic now.

i've got magic summoning powers. so step right up. twenty bucks a pop and i'll wish your favorite people into this weird ass magic town for you.

unless your favorite people are assclowns, then i have veto power and will refund your twenty.

i'm magic. sorry billy, make room on the magic throne.

Fuck

So, after Adam and I found a car to work on I went to go tell Dean about it, but he wasn't at home or at the bar. I'm guessing this means he's been sent back? Unless anyone's seen him?

Anyone with a bar or a night club willing to host a Karaoke Night tonight? And every Tuesday for the rest of forever please please please? I'd be willing to manage it and do whatever needs to be done, including providing the equipment for it.

I hated this place on principle when I first got here. But after being stuck here for a while, its grown on me, in small ways. There's not much I miss about home, but home wasn't very welcoming for me when I came from. It was mostly made up of a few small rooms and a firmly locked door.

I hadn't expected to actually miss anything from there, but oddly, I do miss my sister. Much to my surprise.

But the best part of this place is the freedom. People say whatever they want. Even when it would probably be smarter not to, they still can say it.

What does everyone else miss most from their home? Or like the best here?

Yes, people from low-food worlds. I know the food is good.

So...uh....right.

[Private to Gretel]
I'm guessing you didn't know about this
[/p]

So now that it's warming up and school's mostly out I've been thinking of starting a running club. That's something people still do, right? I still need ways to fill all this spare time. I think I found the perfect shirt, too. I'll take other suggestions though.

So. Turns out magic portals are real. Who would've guessed?

This place kinda grows on you.

Some days I really miss my old girlfriend. She was always so reliable.

Well now. Isn't this place charmingly quaint.

So, running around the park yelling 'Bullet' definitely makes people look at you like you're a crazy person. Safe to say 'off leash' needs more work.

[Filter to Gretel]
Can we talk?
[end filter]

[Filter to self]
I know my own mind, and I know the things this TV show says I've done. The lengths it said I've gone to to get Dean back have been pretty extreme up to this point, but I've been willing to accept it was possible because I know I would do, and have done, just about anything to save him. But this? It's too much. I can't believe I'd let it go that far.
I should really just not watch TV at all to be on the safe side, I did not need to see that. I never needed to see that. I feel sick just thinking about it.
[end filter]

Sometimes I feel like A is still trolling me. Will I ever feel normal again?

Oh my wizard god pleaaaasee tell me someone has tequila.

And I'll need to be informed of anything Bon Jovi might have released in the last year or two.

Also I would not hate pie right now.

That aside. Hi weird Maine. I'm Lexi.

I think it's a good night for a funny movie marathon. All three Exorcist's should do it. Maybe a couple Paranormal Activities.

Oh, so sorry I missed your birthday, Sam. I was busy carnally eviscerating a Norse god. Hope it was lovely.

Never watch your own show. Repeat. NEVER WATCH YOUR OWN SHOW.

QKJ$%tf@RTHERYH3WH6Y7@!!!!!

Screw this place.

Seriously. Screw it like the television version of me got screwed while I'm here.

I think it's pretty safe to say this is the quietest birthday I've had in a long time. I don't even remember the last time I realised it was my birthday on the actual day.

Anyone mind telling me what the fuck this is?

[ filtered: magical folks & law enforcement / not his brothers ]

If you've noticed that the gazebo in the park is a little...broken. I'll fix it. I had something get the better of me and I couldn't really get a hold of myself long enough to stop and I kind of got thrown through one of the beams. It's an easy fix though. I have some construction history so we're good.

So yeah...that happened.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and explain a problem I have and ask people with any suggestions they have to fix it. All I want to do get rid of this thing. It makes me dangerous to those I know and those who don't have a clue who I am. I don't want to kill anybody. This thing...obviously referring to a "curse" that was put on me back in my world...universe...thing. It causes me to become more violent than I usually am and might does have roots that date back to the Jesus-walked-the-Earth sort of days.

So this is my SOS since I don't have a nerd angel to call and my brother is being kind of a dick.

[ filtered: adam ]

I'm sorry. Shit went the wrong way. You shouldn't have seen that. How's it going? Get settled at the new place?

[ filtered: sam ]

I asked for help. I don't think it'd do a lot of good though. Hear you got a job teaching people to shoot. I'm still surprised they hired you. I'm still a better shot.

[ public ]

Got a job as a bartender. I still haven't figured out what anyone does for fun in this place. So steer in the right direction because I'm going a tad bit stir crazy.

I'm trying not to worry about the fact that my job has been in a bar with no owner for a while now. We've been doing the best we can with what we got but I'm beginning to wonder if I should be looking for something else.

I need to stop drinking, I think. I just tried to stop a fight and got punched in the face.

I actually got that job at the newspaper. I didn't think I would be qualified enough, but I guess taking pictures for a newspaper doesn't really require much of a college degree. Still debating on whether I should enroll at the college or not At least it pays the bills for now. My first assignment is a full page spread on Mother's Day which totally makes me miss my mother like crazy, so I was thinking of heading to flower shops and bakeries. Nothing says Happy Mother's Day like chocolate cake. I also wanted to get through to the deeper meaning of Mother's Day, maybe find some willing participants spending time with their mothers, grandmothers or anyone else they consider to be like a mother to them. Basically, I have no idea what I'm doing. I don't know if the spread is meant to be accompanied by a piece written by someone else on the staff or if they're just going to slap a Happy Mother's Day logo on there and call it a day. I know a lot of us have been separated from the people we care about, so maybe this isn't exactly the best time to be celebrating Mother's Day.

Or maybe I should just enjoy the sweet camera they gave me and hope I don't mess this up too badly.

So.


Can somebody who doesn't currently want to kill me explain what the hell this place is about? And what do you do when you find out your entire life was nothing but a gratuitous story arc for a really bad TV show...



Please, someone let me out or turn it off. Six hundred years of torture has nothing on this...

[Filtered to Malia and Buffy]
I've been meaning to check in ever since...well, my brother was a jackass. Things kinda got away from me for a while there. Anyway, you're both okay right? And Dawn, she's alright?
Sam.
[End filter]

[Filtered to Adam]
So, you might've noticed things are a little....frayed right now between Dean and me. I'm gonna move out for a while. I just wanted you to know you can come with me if you want.
[End filter]

[Filtered to Jo]
Things the way they are with Dean and me right now I don't think it's good for either of us to be under the same roof. I'm gonna move out for a while. I told Adam he can come with me and I think it'd be safer if he did but I'm not gonna force the kid, keep an eye on him for me if he decides to stay?
[End filter]

[Filtered to Dean]
The apartments getting pretty crowded. I think it'd be best I might I'm gonna move out for a while.
[End filter]

So, I should probably get a job. Anyone know if the shooting range is hiring? Probably as close as I'm gonna get to hunting in this place.

Has anyone seen Skye? I went to her place to deliver some tech and she isn't there. She didn't come to work either. I hope she's okay. I watched her show. Please let her just be somewhere else in town

As spring rapidly approaches and season finales of tv shows come on, I'd just like to reiterate the suggestion to NOT watch your tv show if it exists. This seems to be the time of the year where things get rapidly worse for people. Yes, Barry, I am talking to you.

Today is my mom's birthday, well later today. I miss her. I am going to play poker and drink fancy cocktails in her honor. Whose with me?

You know what's kind of weird?

Finding pictures of yourself on half the products in the grocery store. That's pretty weird. Although those cool ranch Doritos aren't half bad.

Okay.

What fresh Hell is this. A new condo level?

Any good suggestions for vegetarian or vegan restaurants?

I still don't understand what's happening. Is Klaus still

Elena? Jeremy? Are you two here?

I can't stop thinking about
I need

A magical town was not exactly what I had in mind when they said Michael was going to take me away. Celestial city of doom seemed more appropriate.

By any chance, is there a Sam or a Dean here? Or... Castiel? Bobby?

[ filtered away from sam; ]

If anyone gets the smart idea to mention this "Supernatural" show to my brother, I will cut your throat. Don't think I won't. I'm not trying to be mean here or anything, but it's just a request. Me, asking a bunch of random people for a favor. He can't know.

[ public; ]

I think I need a job, I'm almost out of beer money. And the locals are starting to catch on that I'm hustling them.

Crowley?! If this is your idea of a joke....

This isn't why I summoned you! I summoned you to save my brother

Send me back and bring Dean back or I swear to god I'll fucking kill you!

Hello?

Only two weeks until my wedding!

I never thought I'd be the type to get caught up in this, or to care about making sure every detail's perfect, but I'm...really nervous. And not because of Sam, I don't have any doubts about marrying him. How could I? But it's just...I want everything to be perfect. This time here in Storybrooke, this is what we have, this is all we have, and I just want it to be right.

I'm not going to be some crazy bridezilla, but it's...scary.

Although I guess if everything goes completely crazy and everything gets messed up, it'll be its own sort of special memories, won't it?

Okay, so what exactly are we supposed to do while we're here? I was kind of in the middle of about a hundred things, and now I'm kind of... stuck in this weird in between place where I can't finish what I started but I can't really start something new because... closure. I think my brain's about to go splodey.

I forgot today was my birthday.

Guess I really am getting old.

Well, that was an age I didn't expect to relive. Though I guess there were... worse options.

Anyway, I'm back to normal my real age now.

[DEAN]

Happy birthday. What're we doing for it? Little me was a little too busy not wanting to building a treehouse to ask.

I guess I should be grateful I haven't gotten younger overnight.

Then again, it might be nice to go back.

People are changing back? I don't want to change back

Hello, everyone,

I am organizing a clothing drive to outfit our influx of younger residents. If you have any spare child-sized clothing, please let me know. If you are in need of clothing, because you woke up a size that doesn't match the clothes in your room, please let me know and I will get something to you as soon as possible.

Filter: School and Youth Center Staff

I'd also like to offer my help in finding things for all of these kids to do after school, helping to make sure they're all taken care of, etc. Kitty, Logan, do you need any extra help at the youth center?

Typically, when I am whisked away to a far-off land, it is at a time and to a place of my own choosing.  Thank you to the young man who told me where I was, but knowing that am unable to return to Agrabah is hardly comforting news to hear.  Trapped, again.

I have been told that my husband is here.  Has anyone seen Aladdin?

There's a boy in my room.

How did I get here? Where's Dean?

Why am I living with a girl? Why are my clothes enormous?

I for one am glad I can't see anymore of that stupid show that I'm supposedly on. There's more stupid ass drama here than at home. With fucking walkers.

I'm going to the damn movies, maybe there will be something to do there.

Gotta say, I really thought this whole place was a hallucination. I guess it still could be. Is Cordelia here? Am I gonna wake up in a few months and find out I've been babbling to a dragon about seeing her in Storybrooke again?

It's been a few years for me, but I'll try to jump back in. Wayward magic, mystical city barriers -- feels just like home these days.

I returned to my assigned apartment today after several days of not. It appears I now cohabitate with someone.

It, uh, turns out that I don't know what to do with free time anymore. Which is crazy, and a little disappointing even to myself.

Should I be getting a job or something?

{Filtered to Sam Winchester]

Can we go to Granny's one day? I want some fries.


[Filtered to Beth Greene]

Thanks for going to the ball with me, I had fun.

If you need anyone to talk to about what's going on with your sister, you can talk to me.


[Filtered to Rick Grimes]

Do you want to watch something on Netflix with me tonight? I bought us some popcorn and sodas.

You know what's sad?

When strange shit just doesn't seem strange anymore.

I remember a time in my life where the concept of adding both vanilla flavoring and cherry to cola kind of freaked me out. Now it's kinda like: oh, man, angels and demons exist? Yeah. Of course. Spells to make people be able to communicate with dogs? Psh. Duh. Whatever. I can look that up while I'm eating my Chex in the morning.

End up in Weirdsville Maine as opposed to Kansas in the space of less than a second without so much as blinking?

Fine. Whatever. Cool.

Bring it on.

Now. Where can I get some cherry vanilla coke?

[magical types]

I was wondering if I might ask one of you for a bit of help. My girlf fiancée and I want to be married in February, but also outside, and that's probably not going to work too well in this weather. But I thought maybe there could be a fairly simple magical way of heating up a small-ish area outside, just for a few hours.

And we're not asking you to do it for free. I'm not sure how much effort it would take, so I'm not sure what to offer, but I'm sure we can work something out. Something that doesn't involve selling our souls Let me know if you're interested.

[jane shepard]

Hey, Commander. I've got a question for you.

My father's here.

My father who died when I was a baby.

I don't know how to handle this.

When I arrived here, I had no idea that I would be here this long. I thought...well, I don't know exactly what it was I thought, but I never thought I'd want to stay. And I do, now. I don't really want to go back home, as strange as this place is. There's no life for me there - literally.

[Filtered to Jo and Ellen]

Hey, would you guys be willing to help me start looking for a wedding dress? Sam and I are tentatively getting married on Valentine's Day.