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God damnit.

There are flags attached to the handlebars of my chair. I'm not sure why I felt that was important to share. I guess I was wondering how long I'm supposed to keep them there. Frankie kind of attached them for... I don't know... reasons. Why do teenagers do anything? Part of me assumes he was just being an ass because he gets that from his dad. The other part of me assumes he was trying to be nice. How long do I have to keep them up so I don't hurt his feelings? Teenagers are terrible about hurt feelings.

So, Francis.

Don't panic if you go into the spare room and see a large nuclear spacebomb.

That's just Vladimir. Apparently he showed up while we were out. Try not to get too existential with him. He's got some issues with depression. He's been doing better though. He and Lucky are getting along. Apparently he likes dogs.

...My life is really futzing weird.

By the way? Jess? Vlad's here.

Magical town in Maine, huh? Well that's something you don't hear of everyday.

Clint, I'm blaming you for this one, mostly because Fury isn't here, otherwise I'd blame him.

Actually, I'll just blame Fury. You get a free pass for today.

Ha ha ha. That's just futzing great. Really.

[warning: comments may contain spoilers for Hawkeye #21)

( filtered against high school students )

Teenagers are the actual worst. Give me demons any day.

I need grown up friends.

Or a sparring partner.

Or a drink. No, Buffy. Beer bad.

Or five minutes where I'm not dealing with the emotional problems of teenagers.

Teen angst is the worst. I swear, I was never this bad at that age. That's probably a lie

( Dawn )

How are you settling in here? Do you like it? Have you met any cute, age-appropriate boys?

( Xander )

So, I was reading some stuff from back home.

And you're my best friend and I love you like a brother, but if you ever try to date my sister ever, I will hit you in the face with my scythe.

Just wanted to get that out there.

Movie night?

Really hope I don't gotta worry about going in to work. Hard enough getting around in a wheelchair. Pretty sure I can't dodge zombies in it.

Ah, magic portals, no. At least this place exists, I guess.

Thanks again to everyone who came to the party, and helped Clint put it together. It was a nice surprise.

Consider any reports I was drunk and singing to be false, as a late birthday present.

Clint, two questions.

1. Why are there arrows in the freezer?
2. Is there any chance the arrows explode when you take them out of the freezer?

I ain't gonna threaten anyone. I feel like the 'cranky puppy' pretty much covered everything. And, yes, I only posted this so I could call Clint an cranky puppy.

Darn it, I keep making Mewtwo faint. I almost get the bugger but he won't stay in my pokeball.

Lordie, lordie. Look who's 40! Nobody's said anything yet, and since the day's almost over, I thought I would let everybody know so they can get in on the playful teasing.

Our very own Clint Barton just made it to 40 years old. Congratulations on not-dying! Or, you know, dying and then getting resurrected because magic. Either way.

With the way these magic portal are working lately I kinda feel like I should make a PSA I can point any in coming Avengers from my world to.

As far as portal trips and orientations go, I can't complain. Storybrooke seems like its used to handling a little oddness. To those I don't know yet, I'm Steve Rogers. Regardless of the circumstances, I'm looking forward to making your acquaintance.

Avengers, I was told some of you were here. Check in?

Well...

This is rather unexpected. Now to find whomever was childishly toying with the spell. I don't suppose anyone could just tell me...

Boredom.

Let's play Fuck/Marry/Kill.

Either just pick someone, anyone for each category or give each other three names and stick them in the categories.

You guys know how to play, right?

I'll start.

Fuck: Raylan Givens. Because of reasons.
Marry: Clark Kent
Kill: Clint, if only because if I put him in the other categories, I might get shanked or something.

Your turn.

... I swear I didn't mean to upset that girl.

My mom is going to kill me

So, let's make sure I have this straight.

1. I went through a portal.
   
2. This is all because of "magic" magic.
   
3. There's no way to go home.
   
4. Or if there is, nobody's figured it out.
   
5. Also, some of us are apparently fictional in some other realities?
   
6. My boyfriend is probably here because he can't avoid trouble and needs to speak up right now if that's the case. Peter Parker, where are you?

Is that about right?

If it weren't for Clint I would've gotten the hell outta Dodge a lot sooner.

Please tell me there's a bar that'll be having a single's only night for the impending holiday. Nothin's worst than bein surrounded by happy couples.

I should probably warn you that this was not a good time to kidnap a Black Widow.

I'm entirely too old for this.

Clint? Where'd you go? We have to get home now. Dad's going to kill us if we're not back soon.

Okay so someone here has to understand or know how to deal with teenagers, right? It's been awhile since I've had any experience with them an' back then various circus folk did all the work.

Pretty sure my brother wouldn't like it if I gave his kid to a travelling circus.

Anyway. How do you tell a teenager that flirting with a known villain will only end with them being used as a human shield or being used to further nefarious plans without them deciding to ignore you an' do the opposite?

My immediate solution is to suggest we lock him in his room an' forbid him from dating until he's married. Who has a more reasonable one?

'Sup, Storybrooke? I'm Skye.

It's pretty sad that this isn't even the weirdest part of my day, huh?

The magic explanation makes about as much sense as anything else. As far as alternate worlds go this one ain't half bad. I like the free money part.