welcome to storybrooke ❧ network community

Never watch your own show. Repeat. NEVER WATCH YOUR OWN SHOW.

QKJ$%tf@RTHERYH3WH6Y7@!!!!!

Screw this place.

Seriously. Screw it like the television version of me got screwed while I'm here.

The last time I was in Maine, I got seafood, rug burn, and third degree burns. I'd say not necessarily in that order, but I think that was how it went.

So far, this is proving a little different. The nuns are a nice touch. Not so crazy about how there's no exit sign, but nothing's perfect.

Nice to meet you, Storybrooke.

Anyone mind telling me what the fuck this is?

Hey, so. I learned a very important lesson tonight.

Never Google yourself while in Storybrooke. I'm locking myself in a basement room for a while. Seriously, just... I'll come out later.


[Private to Dean]

Good news is I have access to an adequate food supply. Bad news is I really wouldn't mind if someone went Daryl Dixon on my ass right now.

Why does it insist on getting warmer one evning and then cold agan again the next? You never have a chance to grow used to it.

But it is at least not snowing.

And food that makes your fingers change color should have warnings.

But someone should have told me about the pudding in cups earlier. Those are good.

I'm very slowly getting acclimated to this place. Too slowly for my own liking but, at least, it's kind of peaceful. I'm sure that means Frank's getting bored but the gun range should keep him busy.

The jokes in my initial post aside, what is Storybrooke's judicial system like? Is there an office I could get a job at or should I see about opening my own?

Hey, sooo... This is new. Seen a lot of things, but instant teleportation across the country's a first.

Did I just get recruited into some top secret government thing? God, that's all I need right now. I AM NOT A BIOLOGICAL WEAPON PEOPLE