InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Wake up! You're sleeping! "

malia hale (itsprogress) wrote in welcomenetwork,
@ 2015-07-05 01:04:00

Entry tags:

adam milligan, amy pond, aria montgomery, clint barton / hawkeye (616), daisy johnson / quake (616), grant ward, gwen stacy / spider-woman (earth-65), jessica drew / spider-woman, kitty pryde / shadowcat (616), logan howlett / wolverine, malia tate, may parker / spider-woman (earth-982), peter hale, sam wilson / falcon (mcu), stiles stilinski, tommy shepherd / speed

So I was thinking about Tommy's stupid post and how people kind of liked it. And then I found this post and figured whatever.

Malia Hale has a reputation for a remarkable talent at intimidating people. Additionally, she possesses the power to read the memories of others, however she must speak words of power to do so. Malia Hale is known for her marvelous knack at fighting in the dark and she is able to communicate with sloths in any language. She resists assailants wielding an accurate stinger that also grants a startling combat sense and she developed the talent to make hats appear from nowhere. Lamentably, Malia Hale is infamous for being woefully unskilled at seduction.

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newfoundheroism
2015-07-05 05:23 am UTC (link)

Stiles Stilinski has developed an unusual massive subterranean lair. Also, he wrangles with assailants wielding a devastating assortment of magic spells and he has learned to view distant locations with his mind. Stiles Stilinski developed the talent to transform any lion into a jackal and he rides a legendary Segeway scooter into battle. Additionally, he has mastered the ability to absorb the damage from all physical attacks and redirect it in a field around himself, however doing so drains his agility for one week. Stiles Stilinski has the power to copy any talent of his combatants. Unfortunately, Stiles Stilinski suffers from being night-blind.

I strongly disagree with your weakness.

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	itsprogress 2015-07-05 05:28 am UTC (link)
	I don't disagree with yours. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	newfoundheroism 2015-07-05 05:45 am UTC (link)
	Well, it's pretty true. (Reply to this) (Parent)

callmequake
2015-07-05 05:48 am UTC (link)

Daisy Johnson rides a breathtaking dragon into battle. She also has been known to change shape into a chicken, however this power fades when she is knocked unconscious. Daisy Johnson has learned to block flame and deflect them toward any rival close by and she fights using a venomous dagger. Terribly, Daisy Johnson becomes tired in the presence of silver.

Alright, where is my god damn dragon?

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thislooksbad
2015-07-05 05:55 am UTC (link)

Clint Barton boasts an exceptional attractiveness. Also, he developed the talent to tunnel through solid rock and he wrangles with foes with a wicked longbow made from illusion. Clint Barton lords over a arrangement of women and he can deflect mental shockwaves. Additionally, he has a reputation for an astounding skill at climbing and he rides an uncommon helicopter into battle. Shamefully, Clint Barton is notorious for being clueless.

No comment.

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	canucklehead 2015-07-05 06:08 am UTC (link)
	Logan boasts all of the powers and talents of a fox. He also has mastered the ability to copy the appearance of his combatants and he has been known to make weapons appear from nowhere. Unfortunately, Logan becomes kind of an asshole in the presence of dust. This thing just might be onto somethin'. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thislooksbad 2015-07-05 06:10 am UTC (link)
	To be fair, you become kind of an asshole in the presence of anything. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	canucklehead 2015-07-05 06:11 am UTC (link)
	And where do you think I picked that habit it, charm school? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thislooksbad 2015-07-05 06:52 am UTC (link)
	I just assumed it was a natural talent of yours. (Reply to this) (Parent)

whoandwhatiam
2015-07-05 07:26 am UTC (link)

Kitty Pryde is known for her fantastic willpower, but only when angry. She also rides an unimaginable dragon into battle and she can tunnel through solid adamantium. Kitty Pryde is able to fly through walls and she resists combatants with a dangerous pair of nails that also grants a bewildering combat sense. Additionally, she lords over a bundle of computers and she combats opponents with a wicked minigun. Shamefully, Kitty Pryde is especially vulnerable to sand-based attacks.

Weirdly accurate...except the last bit, which just makes me sound like a pokemon.

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	canucklehead 2015-07-06 01:09 am UTC (link)
	Sand huh. All these year. You're lucky I never knew. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	venomblasts 2015-07-05 06:25 am UTC (link)
	You are exceptionally attractive and clueless. That does fit. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thislooksbad 2015-07-05 06:51 am UTC (link)
	But I'm your exceptionally attractive and clueless guy, so it works. (Reply to this) (Parent)

sataninavneck
2015-07-05 06:02 am UTC (link)

Peter Hale is able to scan the memories of others. Also, he possesses the power to tunnel through solid magic and he has been known to transform dust into rubber. Peter Hale is protected from damage by a magic shield and he resists adversaries wielding a devastating tail that can force opponents to freeze in place. Additionally, he developed the talent to spin like a whirlwind and he can take control of owls. Peter Hale has learned to deflect psionic death, however using this power makes him immovable for five minutes. Terribly, Peter Hale suffers from being foolish.

Amazing how much is actually right.

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	itsprogress 2015-07-05 06:09 am UTC (link)
	You can't control owls. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sataninavneck 2015-07-05 06:10 am UTC (link)
	Are you sure about that? (Reply to this) (Parent)

mayflowers
2015-07-05 06:04 am UTC (link)

Mayday Parker has been known to cause her attackers to become sticky. She likewise has learned to force elves to dance a jig and she is able to transform her body into shadow. Mayday Parker developed the talent to absorb the damage from most physical attacks and use it to increase her set of useful gadgets. Sadly, Mayday Parker becomes rigidly inflexible in the presence of fire.

Also. No comment.

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flowerseller
2015-07-05 06:27 am UTC (link)

Gwen Stacy has mastered the ability to confuse the emotions of an adversary. Also, she has an outstanding agility and she is known for her remarkable willpower. Gwen Stacy can make duplicates of herself and she has the power to force seahorses to run in fear. She also has a reputation for an awe-inspiring proficiency at picking locks and she can sculpt and mold all mental energy with a thought, but this power only lasts one week at a time. Gwen Stacy has been known to communicate with ants from a distance. Shamefully, Gwen Stacy endures the burden of being woefully unskilled at bluffing.

...I'm not Ant-Man.

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venomblasts
2015-07-05 07:04 am UTC (link)

jessica barton has been known to confuse the emotions of an opponent. She also developed the talent to launch explosive missiles from her minigun toward any antagonist close by and she can edit the memories of others. jessica barton has mastered the ability to cause her enemies to become ill-mannered and she fights wielding a razor-sharp club made from sand. She brawls using a venomous whip that can force rivals to tell the truth and she possesses the power to block lasers and deflect them toward a single foe. Shamefully, jessica barton is infamous for being horribly disfigured.

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	mayflowers 2015-07-06 07:49 pm UTC (link)
	"Jessica Barton" may well be my favorite thing I've ever seen written. Aside from that, and the fact that Gwen is decidedly not allowed to be Ant-Man, I think this test is definitive proof that we all make the best team ever. Fist-bump for Team Spider? (Reply to this) (Parent)

goforshortbus
2015-07-05 06:05 am UTC (link)

Grant Ward has mastered the ability to transform his body into water. Also, he has been known to transform ice into steel and he can spin like a whirlwind. Grant Ward has developed all of the powers and talents of a monkey and he has an outstanding strength. He also combats combatants using a toxic beak that can force foes to cower in fear and he wades into combat wielding a terrifying series of nails. Terribly, Grant Ward is notorious for being clueless.

Huh. I fear they might be mixing their animals a bit. Monkey with a beak and claws?

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speedier
2015-07-05 07:42 am UTC (link)

wait why is mine stupid? i mean it was, but still.

"Tommy Shepherd is able to tunnel through solid glass. He has mastered the ability to transform any child into a zebra and he has a reputation for an impressive group of tools. Tommy Shepherd has been known to transform his body into adamantium and he is able to become immovable. Lamentably, Tommy Shepherd is infamous for being clueless."

hah. impressive tools.

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wingmans
2015-07-05 10:48 am UTC (link)

Sam Wilson rides a fantastic limousine into battle, however only against string. Also, he has the power to become immovable and he developed the talent to sculpt and mold all air with a thought. Sam Wilson brandishes an accurate sword that can force attackers to ramble incoherently and he has been known to deflect psychic blasts. He also is able to change shape into a rhinoceros and he has mastered the ability to take control of dinosaurs. Sam Wilson has the power to transform his body into silver. Sadly, Sam Wilson becomes powerless in the presence of corbomite.

I don't know how many battles happen against string, but at least I've got a nice ride when they do?

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younghawk
2015-07-06 12:13 am UTC (link)

"Francis Barton possesses the power to take control of cold and bend it to his will, but never against diamond. He has mastered the ability to make duplicates of himself and he is known for his startling proficiency at survival. Francis Barton has the power to communicate with parrots in any language, however using this power draws a lot of attention. He likewise has been known to spin like a whirlwind and he fights with a dangerous lasso that can force rivals to cower in fear, but only in extreme light. Francis Barton is able to transform any skeleton into wood. Unfortunately, Francis Barton is deathly afraid of women."

Wait. Afraid of women?

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	montgomerystyle 2015-07-06 12:37 am UTC (link)
	BOO! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	montgomerystyle 2015-07-06 12:36 am UTC (link)
	"Aria Montgomery has the power to sculpt and mold all sand with a thought. Additionally, she has been known to communicate with pigs verbally, however only when happy. Aria Montgomery can transform her body into gold. Sadly, Aria Montgomery is especially vulnerable to cloth-based attacks." Saddest set of superhero powers I've ever seen. (Reply to this)

pondoflife
2015-07-06 12:39 am UTC (link)

"Amy Pond wades into combat using a cataclysmic set of nails made from wood. She likewise is protected from damage by alien technology, but using this power makes her incredibly massive for one minute. Amy Pond can sculpt and mold all cloth with a thought and she has the power to slide to any point in the universe using an unimaginable humvee, however she must speak words of power to do so. Additionally, she has mastered the ability to edit the memories of others. Unfortunately, Amy Pond is deathly afraid of giraffes."

Oh my gosh, this is all SO TRUE!

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wearmetotheprom
2015-07-06 12:42 am UTC (link)

"Adam Milligan has learned to take control of plants, however using this power makes him camouflaged for one hour. He also can rocket up the sides of buildings using a mind-blowing assault vehicle and he can transform silver into mental energy. Adam Milligan developed the talent to spin like a whirlwind, but only when well-rested. He likewise is protected from damage by power armor and he possesses a magnificent skill at computer use. Adam Milligan has mastered the ability to make antelopes appear from nowhere and he is able to communicate with dinosaurs through a mental link. Unfortunately, Adam Milligan takes harm from exposure to air."

I don't even know what to say to this.

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