welcome to storybrooke ❧ network community

Boredom.

Let's play Fuck/Marry/Kill.

Either just pick someone, anyone for each category or give each other three names and stick them in the categories.

You guys know how to play, right?

I'll start.

Fuck: Raylan Givens. Because of reasons.
Marry: Clark Kent
Kill: Clint, if only because if I put him in the other categories, I might get shanked or something.

Your turn.

I'm neither condoning nor endorsing. But I seem to remember someone mentioning a paintball battle, and I also seem to have found a place that ships supplies in bulk at a discount. Should someone who used to be on my team and currently lives in my apartment have any interest in things I in no way condone.

I spend my days glowering at teenagers who resent me and live with a younger, more attractive man I moved in with after a week. I feel like I should complete the picture of bland midlife crisis by learning to fish or play golf. But considering that means I would have to fish or golf, I'll pass and assume the car completes the picture.

[Fitzsimmons, Ward, May, ETA Fury and Maria Hill]
Come have dinner tomorrow. I want to keep checked in, even with nothing going on. And a night where Fitz has no access to caffeine or liquor while in his lab sounds like a good idea.
[/Team]

[MCU Clint]
I may be going slightly stir crazy.

So, I've decided that if I ever have to be murdered, I'd like for Simmons to do it. Best mate privileges.

I'm not drunk either. Just a wee bit buzzed on caffeine.

All right. I'm just going to come out and say it, because nobody else is.

You guys from that other world need adult supervision.

I mean, our Clint seems more mature than 90% of you, and I'm pretty sure he's organizing a party to celebrate grounding his kid like it's some grown up right of passage.

My life has slipped back into some sort of normal routine and I don't think I like it. I was getting used to going on missions again.

... anyone up for drinks?

I feel like I'm getting out of practice. I mean, I go to the range just about every day, but the targets there are pretty easy. There's got to be something more challenging to shoot at around here.

( Phil )

I wanted to ask you something...but I wanted to wait until the whole honesty crap was over, because I didn't want you to answer unless you wanted to. You know?

FILTERED TO PHIL COULSON
Hi.

I'm Jess Drew. Since you are the boyfriend of one Clint Barton and I am the girlfriend of the other Clint Barton, we should be friends. If only for the sheer amount of hilarity it will be to watch them deal with the fact that we're friends.
/FILTERED

So, seriously, who wants to hire an Avenger? I've only had one real job and it ended badly but I learn quickly and I am god damn delight to have around.

FILTERED TO JASON TODD
Uh. Hello.
I'm Leo.
Roy wants us to meet so I figured I'd let you get your threatening done ahead of that time.
/FILTERED

I'm a little drunk.
...And I blew up the coffee maker.
Simmons, don't be mad. I'll replace it, I promise.

I miss my job. Back in my world. I'm damn good at it and it's all I have.

Seeking: One Pepper Potts.

For: Amazing sex with your Tony (and Bruce) that will most likely result in a broken bed tonight.

Possible sexual favors for information regarding the redhead's current whereabouts.


Yes, I'm publicly calling my girlfriend out for a booty-call. wait. Just called her girlfriend without prompting. Shit. Got a problem with that? Complaints, please form a line to the left.

I've had better trips home. Though this place being real is actually a relief, I just thought I was having unusually vivid and incredibly inappropriate dreams.

Everyone still here?

[SHIELD]
Everyone all right and not dying, tortured, or mind controlled?
[/SHIELD]

[MCU Clint]
I'm sorry.

Wait, you do remember me being here, don't you?

((There is likely to be Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. spoilers in the comments!))

I'm just going to hide in my lab until this honesty thing is over.

I waited an extra day or so, just to be safe. Maybe time conversions got off or something.

But it looks like Ragnapäper beat Ragnarök at the last minute.

( Phil )

You're a stupidly attractive dork and I love you.

( MCU and 616 Avenger types Clint knows and other friends )

Karaoke tonight. We're going to have drinks and be ridiculous.

Before you say no, keep in mind it's my birthday, I'm a tragic circus orphan, and this is the first time I've had enough friends to have a party. If you don't come, I'll assume you hate happiness.

Cet endroit est vraiment bizarre. Magic réelle? Portails? Les contes de fées? J'ai dû perdre ma esprit. C'est la seule explication.

Apologies. I am Alma. I'm just a little confused by this place.

Um...I think Skye is gone.

We were supposed to meet up this evening and she never showed up. It's really unlike her.

I hope that she's all right.

Right, now that I've been here a few days and walked around a bit? I've just got a question.

Does Storybrooke need any English teachers?

I was starting to think this place had just been a dream...

Filtered: MCU

Thor was talking about us all getting together for drinks before he was sent back. I think we should still do it, even if he's not here. We can drink to his arms him or something.

All these happy teams going off and doing team stuff or threatening people as a team makes me miss my own band of jerks.

[LeoFitz]
Do you mind if I call you Leo? I did it once and you didn't say anything but I was like maybe I should ask first and... yeah.

Anyway, did you want to get some dinner tonight?

( Phil )

Awkward relationship question time.

Is it a bad thing if I don't want to spend Valentine's day with you?

( Natasha - MCU )

So...next Friday?

I'm getting bored with not having things to shoot.

We should play cards. Not poker though. Cards Against Humanity.

Not to brag, okay...totally to brag, but I'm the SHIELD CAH champion.

I have decided I blame Clint for what just happened. Just seems like the thing to do.

Pepper, you're welcome to stay with me and Alex for as long as you like.

(Clint/Natasha)
There is another me.

I should probably warn you that this was not a good time to kidnap a Black Widow.

It's nice that everyone is, for the most part, returning to normal. It was a bit disconcerting to see so many people affected.

I think I should spend the day outside of the lab since Fitz has gone and got himself a social life and I'd rather not continue to live vicariously through him. It's still quite cold, but the snow really is pretty.

( Steve )

How are you? I do hope you weren't affected by this. I imagine that would be something of a shock.

How is Agent Carter settling in?

I'm just going to offer a blanket apology to everything and everyone.

That was jarring. And Lola has a scratch. And needs a cleaning.

I'm sorry to everyone I ran into. I did actually grow past that particular level of obnoxiousness fairly quickly, I promise.

Everyone all right? Ms. Pryde, do I still have a job after not showing up? Unexpected teenager sounds like a terrible excuse, but since it's verifiably true, can we call it sick days?

[Filtered to SHIELD]
I really am sorry.
[/SHIELD]

[Filtered to Ward & Nick Fury]
I'm going to assume that was your money for bail, Nick? I'll pay you back, and thank you both.

Clint still hasn't switched back.
[/Nick & Ward]

[Filtered to Melinda]
Shall we just never discuss it, you think? Except I brought it up. But after this, never discuss it?

Or after Clint is back to normal, never discuss it. Since he may bring it up before then.
[/Melinda]

[Clint (MCU)]
Are you all right? If you could revert back to yourself soon, that would be appreciated.

I really hope I don't get changed back into a teenager. Being a teenager was a nightmare already We've already lost May, Coulson and Agents Barton and Romanoff to this.

[Private To Roy]
You haven't been changed have you?

Phones that fit in pockets and have computers in them. Pretty sure I woke up in a science fiction comic book. Usually if this happens, someone made a wish or invented a time machine or something.

This is handy though. You can find addresses, and I've got keys.

Fuck this cold though.

What the fucking fuck?

If you have time to talk, I'd like to see you, please.

And I realize it's asking a lot, but I'd appreciate you not mentioning it to Clint until later.

I really need to get a job. The question is, what is there in this town for a hacktivist turned secret agent or whatever?

Hey. Hey Agent.

HEEEEEY AAAAAGEEEEEENT

I'm gonna talk to them.

So there.

[ Filtered to Science Babies of SHIELD. ]
SO. I've heard you're not allowed to talk to me. And vice versa.

Well, as I like pissing Agent off and I've yet to see if we get Supernanny here -- HI KIDLETS.

[Filtered to Coulson's teams, past and present]
I appreciate your defense, but I need you to stand down. The show isn't airing and we won't know how it unfolds unless it does again. The Director's calls are his to make.

I'm grateful, but it's not necessary. Leave it.

I'm rather disappointed I'm missing the People's Choice Awards this year.

I don't know whether to be relieved or upset that it didn't air.

Did we get cancelled?

I'm...still not sure what is going on here. Storybrooke? It's almost the year 2014?

Ste--Captain? The timing for that portal thing wasn't that bad though.

Filtered: Friends*Skye makes friends easily, so feel free to assume

OH. MY. GOD.

I so did better than just getting Thor's number.

I love all the snow. It's just so pretty and it reminds me of home. It actually feels like Christmas, which is quite nice.

( Captain Rogers )

I wanted to apologise if I was a bit overwhelming when you first arrived. From a biochemical standpoint, you are quite obviously a fascinating specimen, but I don't want you to think that I only think of you in those terms. I don't. Obviously. I mean, you're a person too. And quite a nice one. And I really appreciate what you did during the Battle of New York. We all do. And you're very handso

I just wanted to be sure you knew that. And that I didn't make you uncomfortable.

( Fitz )

I really miss my mum and dad. Is that stupid? I mean...It's just that it's the holidays and it makes me wish I could see them, or even just talk to them.

( Added filter: Team )

Oh my goodness. Captain Rogers just asked me to go to the ball with him. I mean...it's just as friends obviously, but he's just so very tall and fit and still. I've never been asked to a dance before. I hardly knew what to say.

All right guys. Holiday special at the range. Half off archery lessons if you sign up before the new year.

Word of warning, I don't have much interest in wasting my time watching people fuck around. If you actually want to learn to use a bow, or work on your skills, great. If you don't want to make an effort, you should probably find another way to occupy your time.

Hey, Phil. I was thinking. You want to take Lo for one last spin before we put her away for the winter? With the snow we're having right now, it would probably be good to keep her somewhere safe, so she doesn't get damaged. But I think we could get one last good ride out of her, provided she keeps her top on.

'Sup, Storybrooke? I'm Skye.

It's pretty sad that this isn't even the weirdest part of my day, huh?

Rumor has it that there are SHIELD Agents and Avengers here. Please be able to tell me if it was at all worth it I hope it's true.

This is FormerAgent Sharon Carter, also known as Agent 13. I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to be dead.

( spoilers for Agents of SHIELD )

I wish I could stop watching that show. It's so much worse not being able to help.

|FILTERED TO TONY STARK|
I'm not supposed to talk to you but I can't resist. You wouldn't happen to have time to speak to me about Extremis would you?

|FILTERED TO JEMMA SIMMONS|
I'm going to ask Stark about Extremis.

ooc: spoilers for aos in the comments

( Possible Spoilers for AoS in comments )

[Ward]

I wanted to ask you something.

When they say 'ball' how formal do you think they mean? Am I going to have to shop for a gown and then ultimately decide not to go?

There's stuff. Around the apartment.

Like...a forest threw up or something.

And lots of little things.

Is this normal? Phil? Do you have a habit of decorating your apartments weird shit and you didn't tell me?

Anyway, since you added stuff to the apartment, I figured I could too.

I was on Tumblr, and yes...I know you banned me from Tumblr but whatever, and a lot of people kept comparing me to a grumpy cat. And then I went to get milk and...

( cut to spare friend pages, not filtered )

I liked it better when I knew very little about my colleagues' private lives.

( Possible AoS spoilers under the cut )

Great. Plenty of equipment but no connection. Fat lot of good the protocols do me when there's no way to exercise them.

[ inaudible muttered words before he starts speaking normally again. ]

This is the last thing I need right now.

To anyone tempted to help with searches for giant stuffed animals, please don't.

( Tony )

Maybe we should talk to Dr. Banner about my condition. He might be able to help you work out a way to let me have more control over it.

( Phil )

We really haven't talked since you came back. Mostly because I still want to slap you and being upset isn't good for me right now. But we should catch up. Get a drink. I can throw it in your face for scaring me like that.

I thought you were dead.

Anyone know where I can get a giant stuffed animal? By giant I mean giant.

We're talking 20 feet tall. At least.

No, not for me. I'm asking for a friend.