It's been a few weeks since the town screwed with someone I care about. A lot of people got hurt, and I'm figuring out that it wasn't just the mental and physical hurts. I'm not usually one to be open about how I'm feeling. I don't rely on other people for my emotional well being. I always saw it as a weakness to be exploited. When I got here people I knew, whose opinions I trusted, encouraged me to go against my instincts and habits. It wasn't easy, and I made mistakes, but I tried. Then it all went to hell.
The guy I had been...whatever it was we were doing...well that ended messily. The town threw me into a relationship with someone from home and I ended up kind of breaking his heart. Then, just as I was beginning to consider the dating thing the town screwed that up and that was when people got hurt.
It wasn't the first time I had to fight someone I thought was an ally, but it was the first time they weren't brainwashed into it. Standing up for what I believe was right cost me those same friends who encouraged me to open myself up. Only one of them has checked up on me, made me get out of the house and talk.
You know what pisses me off the most about that? It fucking hurts. I wish I could go back to being that ice cold all work bitch. Things were far less complicated.
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