There's always this part of me that is afraid that I'll never be a good Shadowhunter. I mean, back home, people have trained all their lives and honed their crafts. As for me, I had to endure two years at the academy in the most horrific conditions possible, but that has to do with me being a Mundane (read: a normal human being) while I was there. It was also my status that caused constant ridicule and the like, but I endured. And yes, I ascended, but I had to watch my friend die since he didn't survive the process. I still wonder if I was partially to blame or if there was anything I could've done to prevent it.
Though really those two years were worth it since it meant that I got my memories back.