welcome to storybrooke ❧ network community

It's hard to believe I've been here almost 8 months Barbie's been gone almost 6 months Maybe I should get a roommate. Someone who wouldn't care about Thomas dropping by sometimes I've been ready for it to be summer since Christmas. I guess no matter how long I live in Maine I'm never going to be used to the winters and springs here.

[Thomas Hickey]

So your boss is having a Cinco de Mayo thing. Well one of your bosses is. Want to go with me to check it out or meet me there or something?

So like, things I've learned from reading the network and life in Storybrooke lately:

1. There are not enough reasons for light shows in town and that physically hurts me, kay?


2. HYDRA sucks in every reality.


3. People miss stuff and no I totally don't blame them. I mean, I miss Xavier's and all that comes with it. So I get it.


4. Holidays. They sure do exist.


5. Look at the person to your left. Look at the one to the right. Chances are, they are HYDRA. Or, you know, not really, but that's the topic of the month so you'll probably accuse them of being HYDRA even if you don't know what it is. (You don't wanna be HYDRA, kids. You just don't. It'll lead to bad things. Like hot plasma bursts to your face bad.)


6. Some of us are bored.


7. I'm feeling antsy. This is not a good thing. Things happen.


8. No, seriously, HYDRA blows. Their color scheme sucks. So does their theme. Their leaders. Their plans. And their faces. Those really epically suck.


9. Storybrooke needs a mall. Badly. I'll even take out the forest for you if you just give me build one.


10. I think I'm the only person who doesn't watch Game of Thrones and it makes me feel special.

Long story short: HYDRA= Bad. BETRAYAL. BE...TRAYAL. What's a paladin? Everyone forgets that there is magic in Storybrooke and no one gets any truth serum or truth spells to see who is honest or not and instead they get all paranoid and panicky because that totally fixes all the things. People take sides and there are OPINIONS. And FACTS. And DRAMA. Storybrooke quickly implodes from the infighting and only one adult is left standing as the victor. Unfortunately, that person is also left with all the kids in Storybrooke, because someone will have selflessly sacrificed their life to keep them safe. So congrats, oh mighty victor of the Storybrooke HYDRA Incident. It's a boy! And a girl! And well.. repeat that until all the kids are counted up. Start saving your cash, because college tuition is gonna be a bitch.

The End.

How is it that where I fell asleep last night is completely different than where I woke up?

Have you noticed that while we have all these apparent hero and vigilante types around, we are sorely lacking in the villain department? Not that I'm complaining, really. Sure, we have the little magical misadventures, but nothing really evil or villainous as far as I've been able to tell. Unless I'm mistaken there is no one person causing them to happen either, right?

Anyway, it's making me feel a little paranoid lately. Does any one else feel like the other shoe is ready to drop on top of this place while being attached to a hundred foot giant?
...Wait, that could actually happen with all the magic around, couldn't it. Damn it. Sorry. I've put it into the air of possibilities. If that actually does happen, that one is probably on me for thinking it. Feel free to glare in my direction if it springs to life like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

And this has been on my mind lately and has absolutely nothing to do with what I was just talking about. What exactly happens to pets that any of us adopt if we suddenly vanish from Storybrooke? Do they just get taken back to the shelter or what?

The Sheriff's Office will be hosting an Easter Egg Hunt tomorrow morning in the park.  All children are welcome to attend.

[Filter: Emma]
You don't have to come if you don't want to.  In an official capacity, I mean- I'll represent the office.  I don't mind.  You should just come with Henry and have fun.
[/]

[Filter: Snow]
Next year, we'll be there with our new son or daughter!
[/]

Has Abraham Lincoln always been a vampire hunter?

I need to brush up on my American history.

Either that, or this movie is lying to me.

No more Sherlocks.

I need a nap.

Don' un'nerstood wot the importance is of drinks wot tastes of fruit an' the like. Duty of them's to get you snockered, don' need no fruit messin' it oll up.


[Julia Shumway]

Just so's you know. I ain't sorry oll I said.

I have the urge to get something off my chest.

I am not an American named Alexander Grayson.

I am Dracula.

Just thought you ought to know.

Sister Mary Eunice's continued absence from Storybrooke has relieved me.

Though part of me is still wary about the fact that she might arrive.

Glad I ain't no brat nor ancien' prune.

Anyone fancy a drink? Prices 'ere for a pint is bloody robbery an' I seem t'be runnin' a bit low on funds even aft'r I been paid by wot's-'is-face so's it's buy your own an' maybe mine if I play my cards righ'

Hello?

My name's Kimberly.

As much as I love having my own phone. Is there anyway we can contact people outside of this town..maybe not even from the same time?

Seriously, It's still '96 where I'm from, I've gone into the past before, but never the future.

What gives with this town kidnapping people anyway?

Hopefully I'm not alone in being relieved that the mistletoe seems to be gone.

[Filtered to Thomas Hickey] (OOC: They didn't exchange names but in order to send this just to him - I put his name up there. Edited post to correct.)

God this is awkward Thanks for helping me end the year on a good note. I needed it I'm Julia by the way. I probably should have told you that before we ended up in the corner

For anyone still finding themselves at a loose end when it comes to finding a job, I'm certain I could conjure up a thing or two to occupy a few of you.

I think I was just like, in a cookie coma or something dudes. It TOTALLY wasn't my fault though. People just kept like, giving bags of cookies to me and stuff, so like what was I supposed to do y'know? I had no choice but to eat them all and hide from that crazy little elf thing. It like, kept surprising me and stuff, being a festively secretive. Elves are terrifying. I mean... IT NEVER BLINKED!!!

But I'm pretty sure I've got like this whole holiday thing down. So check it:

Christmas = totally some Jesus dudes birthday but like, people give presents to each other, which is like seriously not cool and unfair to Jesus. I mean.. it's his birthday. I'd be totally bummed if on my birthday I was the only one NOT getting presents.

New Year's = It's, y'know, a new year and stuff. OH! And at midnight everybody starts kissing strangers. Which honestly guys, is like the best. holiday. ever. created.

[OOC: Spoken in his normal British accent as he does not realize it's voice posting.]

This is a very strange contraption... This is a strange town as well.

What am I doing here?

I love the holidays. I know it's not really Christmas yet, but I'm getting into the Christmas spirit.

And apparently baking way too much.

Does anyone want cookies? Or cupcakes? Or brownies? Because I sort of...overbaked. A lot.

Room in a fancy tower, weird li'l box wot don't make no sense 'toll..

An' this is oll they gives you for funds? Ain't even 'nough to get prop'r sozzled.

So's I'm taikin' donations, got medical reasons for it.

Right then.

My name is Emma Swan, and I'm the Sheriff here in Storybrooke. You've all met the Mayor, and been given your welcome kits, but if you have any questions, please feel free to ask me, or my deputy, David Nolan.

And if you could all fill this out for me, so I get a feel of who's who, that would be great.

<b>NAME:</b> <b>AGE/DOB:</b> <b>PREVIOUS RESIDENCE:</b> <b>PAST OCCUPATION:</b> <b>ANY SPECIAL SKILLS/ABILITIES:</b> <b>ANY SPECIAL NEEDS:</b> <b>ANYTHING ELSE:</b>


[OOC: Characters, can try to lie, but Emma has had the Blue Fairy charm the form with a spell that prevents people from doing so!]