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Seriously, why do I ever try to cook anything anymore?

( The rainbow cake looked so pretty on the internet. )

Henceforth, I stick with liquids. I'm a great bartender. I make killer coffee. I am the worst at baking.

It does at least taste like cake? It just doesn't really stay in the form of actual slices so much as just little piles of cake. All this epic magical power, and I still can't make a damn cake.

So what kind of career options are available to an immortal Hunter/archer here? I'm really good at shooting or stabbing monsters until they don't move anymore. Also, I read and write Ancient Greek.

Oh my God.

(OOC: Spoilers for the latest episode of True Blood)

I used to love summer. The heat, the trips to the lake, the barbeques, going to the pool, all that stuff. Now every time I step outside, I'm just like "ugh, everything about this is terrible, why is this happening to me?"

Jess, sweetie, just let me know if I'm keeping the apartment too oppressively cold. If it starts to drive you nuts, I can just get a window unit for my room.

Related: I worked with the boss and got a specialty drink added to our otherwise unpretentious menu - the Fresh Berry Daiquiri. I made my own sweet berry puree, added ice and rum, threw it in a blender, and it turned out beautiful. All you afternoon drinkers should come have one while it's all stupid hot and I'm working the early shift.

It is so gloriously normal being a bartender, even for all you weirdos! I mix drinks! I open beer bottles! I chat with people! I do not fight even one single nasty of the faerie, Fomor, vampiric, or street thug variety! I feel like I'm taking a working vacation.

And to the complete sweetheart who left me a ten dollar tip on a fifteen dollar tab - you are awesome, and the next time you come in I'm buying you a shot.

Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.

Right then.

My name is Emma Swan, and I'm the Sheriff here in Storybrooke. You've all met the Mayor, and been given your welcome kits, but if you have any questions, please feel free to ask me, or my deputy, David Nolan.

And if you could all fill this out for me, so I get a feel of who's who, that would be great.

<b>NAME:</b> <b>AGE/DOB:</b> <b>PREVIOUS RESIDENCE:</b> <b>PAST OCCUPATION:</b> <b>ANY SPECIAL SKILLS/ABILITIES:</b> <b>ANY SPECIAL NEEDS:</b> <b>ANYTHING ELSE:</b>


[OOC: Characters, can try to lie, but Emma has had the Blue Fairy charm the form with a spell that prevents people from doing so!]

Okay, I get most of this. Portals to other worlds. We're stuck in a small town in Maine with no mall. We can't leave. There's a girl who looks like my best friend but isn't a shapeshifting alien.

I just have one question.

Who broke magic?

I mean...seriously. What did you do?

You know, for a cute, ordinary-looking little town in Maine, you guys sure do handle interdimensional portals with aplomb. I guess Stephen King knew what he was doing setting all the evil up here. But then, I guess if you're used to killer magical walls, you can get used to anything.

So, speaking of magic - can somebody tell me how it works here, generally speaking? So far mine seems to work, except for being able to open a way into the fae world. Can't do that one. Any other wizards or fae here?

While you guys think about it, I think I'm gonna go look for a job. I haven't gotten to have a normal one in years.

Well, that's one way to wake up. Good thing I had my wand on me

I'm Harry, by the by, Harry Potter. Who's all here?