Madison Valley Role Play

A list in which Sirius compiles all the things he isn't allowed to do or say, episode 1.

1. Assume all gingers know how to cook.
2. Think of twins as bookends. Though I wouldn't mind being between them.
3. Serve fried snakes to Slytherins.
4. Leashes aren't fun for anyone.
5. No place is safe from vindictive teenagers.
6. I will never take myself siriusly.
7. Try to make potions. That was a bad idea.
8. Not steal James's glasses the first opportunity I get.
9. Make bets with 10 year old girls. I will always lose.
10. Use a magic 8 ball (do they still have those?) to make decisions for me.

Not sure about that last one though, it seems like a healthy life decision from this point.

Also, apparently Padfoot smells like a dog. Who knew? Jamie says he's not allowed on the sofa, but I think that's rubbish. It's there or the bed, git, take your pick.

If that fails, I've got a dog you might like. Anyone want to take him in? He's house trained so you don't have to worry about the mess.

"You've been here for sixteen hours, go home Vance. Get some sleep in an actual bed. It'll be fine. The world isn't going to stop. Mountains aren't going to fall. And your patients will still be here when you wake up."

Otis. Otis, you fucking liar. You got everything wrong but the buggery bloody goddamn mountains.

I hope whomever is responsible reads this. Do you? Who is taking care of Mr Rebeck when I don't show up for work? It had best not be Glasses Trainee. Have you an ounce of decency you'll remove Glasses Trainee before she's permitted near any ailing patient with wand or vial.

I like Mr Rebeck, his wife brings pies.

Here's a thought. The children who are my age in this time were born in the year 2000. It's enough to make one feel dizzy. Even a Time Turner mishap couldn't account for all those years.

Shopping here is uncomfortably reminiscent of being shut up in a large warehouse inhabited by disagreeable and noisy creatures. I'm curious; is that a product of muggle society, or of the times?

[Filtered to Hogwarts witches and wizards]

One of you needs to at least attempt to make a Portkey.

So how am I supposed to deal with this?

Oh, hi, I'm dead, pass the bloody peas?

I think that I should like to host a proper dinner party and hear the stories that you have from your times.

Hey, peeps!

My name is Darcy Lewis and I arrived in this fair town last night. Wasn't expecting to be here, but I like to make the most of things!

Where do I go to meet all the hot guys and gals? What do I need to know to have fun around here?

Can we stop with the family reunion already? It's not fun. If you thought it would bring tears to any of our eyes you're wrong.

[Filtered: James & Lily]
I need to tell you both something.

I can't imagine why we're all being pulled in here. It's full of muggles and Mudbloods and other inconsequential people.

Cassiopeia gave me a copy of the family tree. You aren't all my descendants really then, but Cygnus's. That makes it a tad less strange. The house is alright but I can't see why it's so difficult to acquire house-elves here; London is practically crawling with them.

I expect whoever did this will have their fun and then we'll all be home for Christmas.

(OOC: Arcturus fails at filters. Sorry, muggles! ;) )

WHO: James Potter and OPEN
WHAT: Having Breakfast with a little side of magic
WHEN: Wednesday morning
WHERE: The Bakery
WARNINGS: TBD
STATUS: Open/Ongoing

( ~+~+~+~+~ )

I have a public service announcement:

If Georgia and Shaun Mason die by motorcycle, it's not my fault.

It's also not my fault if their inferi zombies happen.

Hello?

Hello? What is this wretched thing? Whoever is listening...

I never did believe all those stories about muggles stealing badly-behaved children. Whoever you are you had better send me home right now. I demand that you do, otherwise...

Well. You know who I am, don't you? What do you suppose I'll do to your muggle friends who tell preposterous stories?

Flying Motorcycle Nearly Causes Accident December 4, 2013 Julia McGee MADISON - Residents along Lanier Drive were baffled today when a flying motorcycle avoided a collision with an oncoming vehicle. Adam Shelley, the driver of one of the vehicles, said he was driving northwest on Lanier Drive when the motorcycle came zooming up the wrong side of the road. "I swerved to avoid a head-on collision," Shelley said, "but it [the motorcyclist] was too close. I thought I was going to hit it for sure." According to eyewitnesses, before the motorcyclist could collide with Shelley, the bike simply launched into the air and zoomed away, fleeing the scene as Shelley's vehicle pulled off the road. "It was like magic," Said Michelle Grace, a resident who witnessed the incident. "It was the weirdest thing I've ever seen. I couldn't believe my eyes." No one was injured in the incident, but Madison Valley Police Department is urging anyone with information regarding a flying motorcycle to contact the department.

We've had some additions to our numbers since our last request for guardianship of those under 18. And some of our previous volunteers have disappeared.

The current list includes the following:

Karrin Murphy
Jo Harvelle
Marius Black
Clara Oswald
Katherine Pryde
Evelyn O'Connell
Helga Hufflepuff
Johanna Mason
James Lester

In accordance with the city council's decision, our youth are being allowed to choose whether they remain with their appointed guardian or if they wish to pass into the hands of our own volunteers. The volunteers themselves are being asked to undergo a background check and social services will visit your residence--which must be established prior to acceptance of a child--to insure that the living space is appropriate for children.

Family are exempted from the process and may take their relatives immediately.

That said, if you wish to volunteer to take on a child respond here. We would also like to know if you have issues with magic, how many children you are willing and able to take on and what age range you would prefer.

( filtered: Georgia and Lissa )

All right, so this family that I was told I had to stay with is kind of freaking me out.

They told me that if one of the other 'refugees' (and, seriously, how weird is it that they call us that?!) is willing to take me in, I can do that.

Um, so, anyone willing to help me out?

Europeans are crazy, dude. You know the best thing that came out of Europe is us. The United States of America.

So what or who is determining who gets to come here?

Because this is absolute bollocks.

Who turned our tea kettle into a Portkey?

And why did it bring me here, of all places?

The map didn't say anything about Port Keys. Or hallucinations. So did Salazar Slytherin make a chamber and Rowena hid Port Key Time Turners? I don't understand. I don't think I should say that, the Muggles said it was a network, so there will be other Muggles on it? Like the radios?

If I'm poisoned, none of you would be able to tell me, would you? Or if I were hallucinating?

I don't remember the tests for hallucinating.

I think I lost people.

American beer tastes like piss.

I'm going to go vomit now.

When I said I wanted just a little break from changing nappies, this wasn't exactly what I meant.

I have a public service announcement:

Let it be known that curtains are extremely useless. They are also extremely dangerous and everyone should avoid them at all costs. Ever.

They've got this nasty habit of killing things that fall into them.

Don't say I didn't tell you.