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[Filtered to Spysassin house, Jemma Simmons, Mary Margaret, Jason Todd, and 616 Steve Rogers, plus anyone else Bucky considers a friend except MCU Steve]

I just wanted to let you all know that Steve... my Steve... asked me out on a date. We're getting dinner and then going to the picture house.

He's mentally prepared himself for anyone wanting to give him the shovel talk. Which means I won't protest the idea. If anyone wants to make things fair and give me the shovel talk on his behalf he might appreciate that too.

So, ah. What's a good way to ask someone out,,,? If you were going to do something like that. With someone. Of course with someone. I'd appreciate some ideas and everyone has a million of them and I'm tapped out.

It's nice having the entire team in one universe... attempting to function like normal people.

So, just curious, does the hardware store here sell sliding locks? I'm pretty sure someone's getting a lock for Christmas.

A heck of a lot of sparring, lately. Can't say I'm complaining.

Someone shoot off leftover fireworks not too long ago?

So anyone who has been here a while knows that the coming and going sucks. But it always happens. So sorry if someone's gone. And sorry if someone's here you don't want to be.

But most of us are missing people. So, what two people do you wish most would show up? And what two do you hope fall in a hole between universes and don't show up?

Scott and Mr. Argent, for Allison, from my world from me, for people I'd want to see.

Don't want to see - any other Argent, basically.

STOP ME IF YOU'VE HEARD THIS ONE ... so there's this portal? And it sucks people out of a thousand different dimensions and plops them into East Who-Gives-A-Damn Maine. And there's nothing to do but ... reconstitute, re-evaluate and re-form your life?

AHAHAHA, SO HILARIOUS.

Oh right. Hi.

I'm Skye.

So... I may have done something silly and asked Steve if he wants to spar with me sometime. Who wants to come along and make sure that 'sparring' with Captain America doesn't turn into 'trying to kill' Captain America? I'd really rather not almost kill him again.

Thanks again to everyone who came to the party, and helped Clint put it together. It was a nice surprise.

Consider any reports I was drunk and singing to be false, as a late birthday present.

Clint, two questions.

1. Why are there arrows in the freezer?
2. Is there any chance the arrows explode when you take them out of the freezer?

I should have done this a week ago or probably more but I suck at...everything

So, Phil's birthday is Tuesday and it's his 50th, so I wanted to do something for that. So, surprise party. Tuesday night. Over at the youth center for space. I talked to Kitty about it and she's fine with letting us use it for the night. I'm going to convince Phil we're going to dinner, just us. Kitty's going to call him with a reason he needs to stop by the center first. He'll say yes because he's Phil.

Everyone should be there around 6:30 to be safe, earlier if you want to help prep. Bring a dish if you want. I'll be getting Phil there about 7. I just really want to do something nice for him.

Oh! And no age jokes.

EDITED TO ADD: Also, if anyone has problems with Grant being there, you can fuck right off and not come. He's going to be there and I am not kicking him out because some people can't get over their issues. He's trying. He's trying damn hard. The least you all can do is do the same and not make a bunch of fucking drama while I'm trying to do something nice for my goddamn husband. Are we clear?

( Barton-Coulson Home for Wayward Spysassins - plus Tony - minus Phil )

I could use your help setting everything up. I'd really appreciate it.

( MCU Steve )

I can do this it's for Phil I really hope you come. I know Phil would appreciate it.

Also I was kind of wondering if you'd maybe help with the decorations. I know you're good at art, and since Phil doesn't have his cards any more, I just figured it would be something personal for him.

( Pemberley Hart )

I know we aren't that great yet, but I figured we could get some practice doing some music at this. Plus I kind of wanted to do something for Phil and I'm a sappy asshole so I figured a song could be good. You guys in?

Since I can't sit around feeling sorry for myself all day I might want to start up my sparring sessions again. Anyone still interested? If not... I might actually do the normal thing and look for a job.

[Steve Rogers 616]
I meant to say Happy Birthday the other day. I just... got wrapped up in other things.

Я не знаю, как держать в руках это

So I've been poking around this thing for a couple of days.

I can't say I understand how I got here and I can't get over the feeling that I have to make a mission report.

Uh. Hi? I'm Steve Rogers. Is there a manual?

So... yeah. I'm going to have to cancel my sparring sessions for awhile. Sorry. I'm just not feeling up to it right now.

So I don't like bananas and the milk tastes... wrong. Pierce can keep his damn inch of milk.

I'm slowly getting used to cooking. We didn't have a lot of ingredients back in what I'm reminded was my time. Steve's never been fussy about what we had but he used to eat like a bird. I remember him picking at his food a lot. That's changed. The clearer parts of my memories are still him but I think it has to do with the fact that he's a constant.

I still wake up confused. Looking for people who aren't here or aren't alive. I spent a whole morning looking for Howard before I remembered that I Sometimes I wake up expecting people I'd rather forget. I want to say I'm getting better but how do you judge that? How do you fix this?

Steve? If I said it would be therapeutic could we get a pet?

So I haven't brought home a stray in at least two weeks and So I was thinking, Katniss has been really great for me. She's an awesome kitten and her grumpy face brings me joy.

So I got you a friend, Grant.

( Meet your new friend )

She seemed sad.

Plus she has three legs and one eye, so you could come up with a name that makes Bucky and Nick make faces. Which is a truly rare opportunity.

Also, Phil, we have another cat.

Roy it's cleaning day. If you come home you're wielding a mop. Or window wiper. Or sorting the communal laundry. And I don't care, your gizmos and gadgets are getting put on your bed. They don't go on the kitchen table or my counter.

I miss Alfred.

Barnes, Ragnar, Ward, Roy, any of you up for sparring after this shit hole gets fixed? Or someone new, I wouldn't mind.

Everyone is always bored or missing people on this thing. Including me. So screw it.

Top five people in town you'd sleep with. Everyone tell me theirs. (I don't care if they're married/dating/into the wrong gender/from a world where they're actually a rabbit. It doesn't have to make sense.)

No picking people who aren't here anymore, because then it's not as funny.

As far as portal trips and orientations go, I can't complain. Storybrooke seems like its used to handling a little oddness. To those I don't know yet, I'm Steve Rogers. Regardless of the circumstances, I'm looking forward to making your acquaintance.

Avengers, I was told some of you were here. Check in?

You know you're bored when you figured out where all your team fits with the original Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers.

Small town Maine huh? No one offered me a lanyard on a case basis makes this one unique. Too bad, I was kind of digging the lanyard thing. They matched my uniform.

So who all is here? Anyone I know?

[Filter Jemma]

If you're here, want to meet for pancakes?

As the Sheriff, I can't actually hit someone without an actual reason right? It's like the temperature going up has caused people's brains to shut down.

[FILTERED TO MCU]
If I ask you about your world and the people in it, would any of you answer truthfully?
[/FILTERED]

I think I'm going home. This paperwork can wait. I need a nap, a bath, and to spend time with my son and husband. Not necessarily in that order. Please don't do anything horrible for the next couple of hours.

Alcohol doesn't seem to have much of an effect.
I've started feeling antsy without orders. I think that means I need a job.
Who wants to spar. Lots of spare energy to work off.

I should probably make a few more friends too. People have those.

[Filtered to Steve Rogers]

Hey, so I need to talk to you about something. Just promise you won't get mad.

For those of you unaware of the current situation, it seems that one of our operatives currently here has turned out to be Hydra. Friday morning, Grant Ward revealed his affiliation and offered up a name of 24 mid and lower level operatives also involved in Hydra as well as one level nine of which we were not already aware.

After lengthy debate, May, Barton, Coulson, and I have resolved that we will first attempt to turn his allegiances before any other actions are taken. As such, the protocol for turning an asset has been invoked with Agent Barton taking the lead. Progress will be assessed through out the month and should there be no signs of improvement within that time, other steps will be taken.

I understand that some of you may not agree, but this decision is the one which has been agreed upon to have the most potential for success with the least amount of fallout, and I hope that you respect the decision whether or not you consider it the right one.

Complaints are welcome, but they won't impact anything.

There isn't enough alcohol in Storybrooke for this week.

Ever get the feeling that something big is going down around you but no one's telling you anything?

[Rogers]

What's going on? Simmons brought me all these pancakes...

It's such a shame that Peggy's gone. I really did quite like her. She was a good friend. I've never had many female friends, so it was nice to have one with Skye gone. Still, it is comforting to know that she was happy and had a good life.

And it's good having Steve and Natasha back. I was worried about them.

( Sam )

I was wondering, now that Steve and Natasha have verified that you are, in fact, not Hydra, if you'd like me to show you around.

Not that I thought you might be Hydra. But Agent Coulson can be rather protective. And I don't think he would have liked me spending too much time with you. He was already a bit cross about me checking in on Bucky.

( Fitz )

I told Steve that I would talk to you about working to see if there's any remaining conditioning in Bucky's system that Pierce could use if he showed up. It is, of course, up to Bucky if we actually do anything, but I thought you would want to know.

I just want to help him, if we can. He's been through so much.

Sam seems nice, doesn't he? Just...as a person.

( Bucky )

See? I told you he'd be back.

I am worried about him though. He seems different.

Alright, I'm going to guess I haven't actually been gone for two years, so if anyone can catch me up on what's happened since I've been gone, that would be helpful.

( marvel )

No one here is HYDRA, at least not as far as I know. Sam's clean, I can vouch for him personally. He helped me take down SHIELD, along with Natasha, Fury, and Hill. We should come up with a contingency plan if Rumlow or Pierce show up, though. Sitwell wouldn't be much of a problem, but those two could cause some damage. Particularly if Pierce gets to Bucky.

( bucky )

You still here, pal?

This has to be some sort of HYDRA plot. I mean, I'm no superhero, but I'm not stupid. Fairytales? Honestly.

The woman who greeted me said some of my friends were here but I almost hope she's wrong. It'd be nice to have people who I trust here. Downside to that being that if I'm right, Steve and Natasha were captured. I need a drink.

I personally cannot wait for this school year to be over. Though I'm going to need something to keep me occupied during the summer.

Someone in this town should put on a summer fair. With carnival rides and such. That might be fun.

( Cut for CA:TWS Spoilers )

I'm...still not sure what is going on here. Storybrooke? It's almost the year 2014?

Ste--Captain? The timing for that portal thing wasn't that bad though.

Wasn't I...

Ninety percent sure I was falling to my death...

So...I'm almost sure I'm dead. I was falling and...I didn't expect Heaven to be a small town. I didn't expect Heaven, huh. Or I somehow lived?

Steve?