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My mom is going to kill me

So, let's make sure I have this straight.

1. I went through a portal.
   
2. This is all because of "magic" magic.
   
3. There's no way to go home.
   
4. Or if there is, nobody's figured it out.
   
5. Also, some of us are apparently fictional in some other realities?
   
6. My boyfriend is probably here because he can't avoid trouble and needs to speak up right now if that's the case. Peter Parker, where are you?

Is that about right?