So in honor of my very special Avenger's badge this is a special issue of the town gossip report. Starring one Clint Barton in his own special solo addition.
(I apologize now for anyone else's name I take in vain in this, other parties named probably
really really didn't actually had zero to do with any of these reports.)
Did you know that Clint Barton created the wet t-shirt contest? He was testing a water exploding arrows in case of fire monsters...only to find out they had a great side effect when used on a crowd.
Clint Barton ate all the Christmas cookies and when caught on tape blamed it on shape shifting aliens. Sadly the alien theory didn't explain the green and red sprinkles in his bed. No one wants to know the real reason there were that many sprinkles in bed.
Nothing can keep Clint Barton away from his beer. One time Thor put his hammer in front of the fridge to keep Clint out but it backfired when he got the Hulk to open the fridge through the side. The beer wasn't worth it. Next time get something better than Coors Light.
We suspect that when it comes down to it Clint Barton's last words will either be 'oops', 'watch this', or 'oh shit'.
You know that a mission went wrong when Clint Barton calls in and all he says is 'heh heh heh, sorry there was tequila'. Still better than the time he left three messages, one was two minutes of him laughing, the second was singing Feliz Navidad, the third was a long silence followed by oops. Make up your own story to go with it.
One time Clint Barton wrote a paper on why Santa Claus would beat the Easter Bunny in a fight. it had footnotes and everything.
What kind of tie does Clint Barton wear? A BOW TIE! bah dum dum.
The best mission ever with Natasha and Clint Barton, they got caught, he pretended he was deaf, she pretended she didn't speak English, and she did sign language for him making it all up as they went. I want to see them pretend to be deaf and blind next time, she tells him where to shoot and he interprets the sign language.
Random useless Lavender hood arrows:
The skittles arrow
The thumbdrive arrow
The boomerang arrow...because really? It comes back to you?
The suction tip arrow...really? So you stuck the arrow to a perfectly flat and clean piece of glass...now what?
![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small}