I let my first class go early, and have canceled the rest of the classes for the day as my students all seem to be spewing forth everything that comes to their heads. Believe me. I'm in a position to know!
Within the first half hour of class I was told:
1. I have a nice ass.
2. It is entirely unfair that I have the eyelashes that I do.
3. I could expect a phone call around midterm from a parent that makes substantial donations to the college about their son's grade.
4. That the Poetry professor grades you on your fellatio talent.
That was when I decided to dismiss the class for the long weekend. If you want me, I'll be trying to get a look at my backside in the mirror.