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Fantastic.

Apparently this device doesn't appreciate the jiggery pokery of the sonic. What kind of rubbish is this then? Was only trying to boost the signal to reach my ship.

Seems I'm stuck here. Genius, me, getting stuck some place. It's what I deserve, I suppose, when in the middle of chasing a Slitheen I think, oh, look, there's a portal, I'll just have a quick pop then get back to it.

So, what's this then, with the portals? And don't say magic.

Officially lonely bored. Even though there's school. Because I can get A's without thinking.

I absolutely refuse to start a knitting club.

I think I'm missing some basic life skills.

OOC: PLEASE IGNORE THE TAG ON THE BOTTOM :)

I'm not certain which of my findings is the most bizarre. Identical twin pairs born from different mothers and perhaps in different realities (unconfirmed) exist here. There is also a species of humanoid creature, termed 'vampire', which has extremely strange and undeniably inhuman physiological characteristics. And, although it was created in a parallel reality in which I and institution where I work do not exist, this television show about my life seems to be eerily accurate. Of course, I can only speak for the details of it which I was present for; there are many televised moments which depict my friends' lives at times when I was not around and their accuracy is therefore unverified.

I'm also uncertain whether to take future occurrences depicted on the show as accurate or not, but if it is, I am disappointed that my trip to the Maluku Islands would apparently have remained unfinished and unsuccessful even if I had not been transported here.

[ANGELA]

There isn't something you left out when you told me about your time in Paris, is there?

Well then, this.. this is new. I'd rant and rave over how I need to get home, but I've been looking through the network enough to realize it's not going to do me much good. Besides, if I'm going to be honest, this place looks a hell of a lot better than home. A lot less mass destruction by spoiled super powered murderers. I'm just going to take this as a sign that someone is insisting, in an extravagant and inconvenient way, that I take a break.

So who can I talk to about getting a job at the paper? If I'm going to be stuck here, I need to be doing something useful. I may be without my other resources, but journalism is still the best tool I have left in my arsenal.

Where's a good murder when you need one, huh? I am so bored, I'd make a little happy dance in joy, yeah?

Maybe I can go find some bones and dump them in on Bonesy's desk. You do have a desk now, right? Desks are pretty awesome. I miss mine. And my chair. Everybody always had it out for my chair.

There is a pattern to the departures. Apathy. If you fail to prove yourself useful to the hive—for instance, should you stop working, communicating, or functioning altogether—you're driven out of the society itself. What use does a plane of existence have with the inanimate?

You're welcome. Now someone get me cigarettes.

If you're looking for something to do on the long weekend, the shooting range is offering 2 for 1 lessons. That applies to archery (taught by moi) and guns (though why you'd want to learn to shoot guns I don't know).

For students who want to learn archery but can't make it this weekend, I'll be TAing the archery section of PE.

Lovely.

Anyone know how much one of these devices can be pawned for?

The community college here is willing to hire me only to teach classes that they currently offer, which are very basic compared to the courses I'm accustomed to teaching, but it was a logical decision on their part. They aren't familiar with my capabilities and they can't know how long I will be here. Since the offer came with the availability of their laboratory resources and the possibility of teaching more advanced courses in the next semester if I am still here, I've decided to accept. I'm sure the college will benefit enormously from my addition to their staff, even for only a short time.

The courses I will be teaching are introductory classes in cultural anthropology and archaeology. I've also agreed to fill in for one of the Spanish language courses, since I am fluent. If anyone would like to sign up for my classes, I can guarantee you that they will be taught at a higher level than most community college courses, and there may be research opportunities available to students who show an intellectual capability for and interest in pursuing their studies further.

For all of you that were still in school before arriving here, I recommend that you do your best to continue your education. If you need assistance in finding a way to pursue higher levels of education than are offered here in Storybrooke, I am willing to do what I can to help you.

I know it's a small town, but I was really hoping the local college would have some better course offerings. I know it's only a community college, but there's nothing on par with my classes at TPU. I don't want to sign up for classes just for the sake of doing it and I don't think there's much I can learn, based on what I'm seeing in the catalog.

What are the chances the offer advanced Physics classes on the Internet? Slim to none? Yeah, that's what I thought.

Hello, everyone. For those of you more recently arrived, I'm Mayor Mills. I thought I should remind all of you of a few pertinent facts as the summer comes to a close and we all prepare for the beginning of the year.

( First of all, all new arrivals... )

( Second, all minors... )

( Third, the population of newcomers has grown... )

Finally, I want to personally express my condolences to all those who have lost a loved one to the recent rash of portal-related disappearances. Loss is hard even under ordinary circumstances, but for many of you, these are especially difficult. I'd like to take this opportunity to open the floor to any questions you might have regarding magic in Storybrooke or the portals themselves. Unless they're stupid or obvious, in which c

[ANGELA]

Did you know about all of this? The tv show about all of us, the things that it says about our lives and our future, this... parallel between the Jeffersonian and the Smithsonian? Does Booth know about

I'm really starting to think 'parallel universe' might be a rational explanation for all of the facts. Which is something I never thought I'd say.

Huh, look at that, Bonesy. Look at that.

Is there any way of making contact with the world outside of this town? I'd like to get in touch with the team on the Maluku Islands, and with the Jeffersonian.

And if I'm going to be working while I'm here in Storybrooke, I'm going to need supplies.

Well. Haven't seen this one before.

So people who were here vanished? Or went back home or whatever? I don't like the sound of

My wife is gone.

I've ruled out toxins and head trauma. I can't satisfactorily disprove the hypothesis that I'm currently in a comatose state and that nothing around me is real, but I think it's highly unlikely that even my subconscious brain would come up with something as illogical as magical portals or even decide to base my dream world in a small town in Maine. Not that I put any stock in psychology, but wouldn't my mind be more likely to draw from locations and symbols that are more familiar or significant to me?

There is a reasonable explanation for this, and I will find it.