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Got Hermione's wand...

I miss Alfred.

I'm sort of at peace with my whole retirement from superhero shenanigans. I loved being Batgirl, but there's no need for that here. And, yeah, I could leave town and go be a vigilante somewhere but I have a family and a job I love and a normal life. And that's pretty freaking cool.

loki.

You should marry me already.

I was going to wait and let you ask, but I realized if I do that, I'll turn 87 and die of old age before you get past your 9 million self-worth issues and do it.

What do you say? Wanna shack up all official?

I know. That was super romantic and sappy. But try to stop swooning long enough to answer.

The difference between winter and summer sunlight isn't really enough to noticeably affect my powers. But it sure feels like it does. I just want to go flying all the time!

Wish Alex was here to see it, though. Or James.

Hello?

Am I using this correctly?

I'm not sure if it's too soon but I found this when I should have been doing homework.

( Cut for potential Star Wars spoilers. )

I need to step away from the XBox...

Anyone feel like training me?

I really need the magic of this place to send back Phil.

I miss Alfred.

I never believed old Mrs. Cooper when she said be careful what you wish for. Maybe I should have.

Unless this is a dream. Am I dreaming?

Ugh adults. Just. Blegh.

Soooo, what do you guys do for fun 'round here? Any festivals or tournaments to look forward to?

It's never a good idea to complain about things being sleepy, because that's always when they wake up just to kick you. But there is just not a lot happening in fairytale Maine, is there? I make my own fun, but my fun has run into some repetitive cycles.

I've found a lot of spare parts and could rig it up - how about a town-wide, volunteer-based game of laser tag? Winners have bragging rights, those who can fly or have superpowers are on the honor system.

So, I've been through somethings in my life.

I am in fairly decent shape for a non-super powered human.

Why the hell am I so damn tired? Classes are wearing me out. Why can't we just reinstate SHIELD? What if I just work at a grocery store instead? I could be a bouncer.

I need a bath and a drink.

The next person who refers to me as 'Bucky Barnes's sidekick' will be side kicked in the nuts.

Is it really that close to school starting? How old do you have to be to get out of it again?

I still don't see the point, but I'm not going to bother trying to argue about it this time. Someone better at it can tell me what the least boring classes to take are, though?

I don't mind learning, it just seems pointless to waste time learning things that aren't going to apply in any real world we have to live in later, since we won't remember and our world is ruined anyway. So everything seems dull, and hard, since I didn't learn the same things to start with. I don't like feeling like an idiot, either. I'm not.

Okay, Storybrooke. Who missed me?

What is this place? How do you exist out in the open? I haven't seen a wall or a guard tower anywhere along the perimeter...

James Rogers...

The following are apparently memes:

( ... )

According to the internet it is a cultural item in the form of an image, video, phrase, etc., that is spread via the Internet and often altered in a creative or humorous way.

So they're supposed to be funny.

[Filtered to Steve Rogers (616)]
Hi. I was wondering if maybe when you had time sometime we could do another cooking thing? Natalia said that you make really good pancakes, so I said I'd ask if you'd teach me sometime, so I could make them for her?

If you don't mind, I mean. And only when you're not busy. Thanks.
[/Steve Rogers]

[Filtered to Natasha Romanoff, and the Bartons (MCU)]
Hi. I know everyone is busy so I didn't want to bother you but would it be okay if the Bucky who used to live here comes over and we use the kitchen some night? Or day? If not that's okay. He was going to show me how to make stuff, is all. But I mean there's a lot of people here so I don't want to get in the way.

Where did the girl who lives here go? Does she just hate me so I never see her? Did I do something to make her hate me? Should I say sorry?

[Edited to Add Later]
And you probably already know this because I sort of just thought she was avoiding me, but I think the girl - Allison? - who was here isn't, now. Or at least she hasn't been.

I just thought I should say. Just in case you didn't know.
[/Natasha, Bartons]

[Filtered to Francis Barton]
Somehow I don't even know if I like cooking or am any good at it and I'm doing it with multiple people I'm related to or sort of related to. Now I'm worried I might set something on fire. I mean I didn't so far with Steve but maybe it was a fluke?

How do you know if someone hates you enough to just never see you? If someone was there first and hates you should you move out so they don't have to see you?
[/Francis]

Okay. I looked it up because I'm not stupid, but I still don't get it, and Tony never told us about it.

What is a meme exactly? Because I mean it seems like it's five hundred different things that don't make sense.

Well, I guess I'm back.

Is Alfred still here?

I would kill for a cigarette.

Please tell me there is a reasonable explanation for this that doesn't involve magic portals and fairies.

I think we should all take a minute and talk about our New Year's resolutions. Who made them? What's your resolution this year? How do you plan on seeing your resolution through?

My resolutions are to make better relationship choices and to make new friends. And I'm going to work toward those resolutions by approaching relationships more cautiously and not letting my feelings get the best of me and letting my friends support me, for the first one, and by reaching out more to people here, for the second one. Like this. See? This is fun!

I love my job. I forgot how much fun I have being a therapist. It's really rewarding.

Well. Now that it's become quite evident I'll be staying for the foreseeable future I may have to find work.

I don't suppose anyone is looking to hire a butler? I cook, clean, take care of laundry, drive, and I'm bloody good at making sure your children don't climb up on things they aren't supposed to.

What in tarnation is going on? Someone meets me, hands me this outdated piece of tech and tells me I can't leave... Kid, you better be here and explain what kind of madness you got us up to now. Least we're on earth, not stuck out in outer space again. Good to have my feet on solid ground but we're a few hundred miles north of where my feet prefer.

Why do I keep up with the Ant-Man movie? The teaser about broke my heart.

Suppose I was in need of a holiday after being shot. Now probably isn't the best time. Maybe in six years when the young master is away at college.

Does this town never get tired of balls and group affairs? There's always such a potent potential for disaster at work, you'd think it would put us all off the idea. Not that I'm complaining about the amount of cleavage and finery usually on display at such things, but still. Practicality.

Since she's forever cast in harbor as it is, I think I'll start work on modernizing the Jolly Roger a bit - bring a touch of the modern world to an old magic ship for the next time whim sends us off to another world. Anyone care to help?

Well, it's Christmastime again.

And during this season, it is important to remember that "Santa" is a CIA-created myth. "Santa" is actually drugged government bears. If you see "Santa", run screaming into the night. "Santa" probably won't harm you, but it's always best to run screaming from the unknown. And from the known. Generally, running screaming is fantastic exercise. If you can't run, I would recommend aggressively refusing to believe "Santa" is there. That usually works.

You can now return to your regularly, or perhaps irregularly, scheduled lives.

Christmas sweaters for babies are pretty much the most adorable thing ever. And Joy seems to like the ones I've gotten her. Of course, she's not even a year old yet, so I'm probably just guessing on her opinion here. But she looks super cute.

Loki, I may or may not have gotten you some Christmas sweaters. They're all green and varying levels of ridiculous. You're welcome.

Bruce, you did not escape this.

I think tonight is a good night for a Christmas movie marathon. The tree is decorated. Presents are all bought. Yule isn't until tomorrow. I'm thinking stop motion movies and hot chocolate.

( filtered to Steph and 616 Loki )

Can we watch the Grinch?

This is going to be my first Christmas without my mom. It's so strange. I don't even know what I'm going to do.

What is everyone's plans for the holiday?

So, sorry this is late but I was recently traumatized by about four thousand different things, not least of which being the fucking alien god who doesn't know how to go about making friends, hint not mind control, but it's time to extend the yearly invitation to the Barton-Romanoff Secret Agent Thanksgiving Dinner. Dinner being used in the loosest sense of the word. Also, Thanksgiving. For our purposes, those words mean vodka, Chinese takeout, and poker. This will all be taking place at the Clint Barton Home for Wayward Failboats and Spysassins, and possibly in a giant blanket fort depending on the varied emotional states of the household that day. SHIELD attendance is mandatory. Other people we know are welcome, including significant others of SHIELD people and their angry Jewish and/or Jersey friends. Loki, if you try to come, someone will set you on fire. Other Loki, I don't mean you. You and Steph are fine. If anyone in the house has anyone they want added to the no invite list, speak now, or speak later, whenever's cool.

We probably have enough room for everyone. There are cats, so mind your allergies. We will have all the eggrolls, they're basically the equivalent of stuffing anyway. When I say all the egg rolls, I mean it. Grant is ridiculous and we love him. Feel free to bring extra takeout if you want. And extra blankets in case of expansion.

I need to get back to Gotham.