[Cassiopeia Black's diary, private]
I do believe that's the worst thing I've ever done. I want to say it's not my fault or he made me so angry, but the fact is that I was irresponsible. He's a child. He's the same age as Marius at home and - oh. Perhaps it isn't the worst thing I've done. Arcturus can defend himself, after all. I always thought I was helping Marius but none of it did a bit of good.
Pollux says it's the only way to learn and I understand that. He's right. He's done much worse to me than I did today, after all. Only there's a difference between Pollux teaching me and me getting annoyed at Arcturus, isn't there? He's thirteen. Even if he was near-enough trying to insinuate that I haven't enough magic myself and telling me that his generation would be ashamed of me. That's not right, is it? He shouldn't talk to me that way. That he thinks it - I don't know what to make of the fact that he thinks it. Don't I know that I'm a disappointment? Not for my magic, of course. That's ridiculous. But other matters, that I haven't much control over at all.
I can't let it trouble me, can I? I want to talk to Pollux, but he's so terribly busy with all of this going on, the last thing he needs is to listen to my problems. It's not as if Arcturus was even upset by it. Once I helped him up, he congratulated me. Terribly strange. Even so. He's a child, and even if I am too, really, I shouldn't relate to him that way.
I have to be responsible and that means not losing my temper. I have to see about the finances and be sure the house runs smoothly, and look after Arcturus properly instead of being childish and quarreling with him, and try to make sure Lucretia stays safe even if she won't live with us. It's an awful lot. But then Pollux has Sirius to deal with again, and probably James Potter too, and I don't envy him that. He and I will have to help each other now, won't we? We'll have to get along. Merlin, we can hardly set an example to the others if we're arguing too.
Arcturus keeps saying we'll be home for Christmas. It's his way of failing to accept the situation, of course. Even so, I wish he could be right about that.