PARABOLICAL GRAFFITI

It is all right to go out during the day, right? I hate being stuck inside.

this is not little hangleton. this is not home. i do not know where i am. i do not know how this machine is working. it is so loud here. why are there no plants/ where are all the trees/ how do i get the question mark to work/ i can see it, it cannot work it. what kind of demon muggle contraption is this/

i want to know i need will someone help i demand as the heir of salazar slytherin that someone tell me what is going on1

please/

I've heard interesting things about you. I'd like to talk.

I have returned from business, something that was strictly for Wolfram and Hart. I have been to Kiev and back to London, but now that the job is old news, I have come back to present a compromise for those who have history with me (or the older version of myself, as it truly is).

Potter, this is not the world that we come from, and I have no interest in doing what I intended to do back home, here. I have no reason for that, not when we are so vividly misplaced. I have promised my loyalties to Wolfram and Hart, and I will do what I can to aide their cause, however, I am willing to strike up a deal with you. It goes as follows: You don’t send any form of attack at me, and I will in return, leave you and your companions alone and untouched. I have no wishes to destroy anything from our reality by making the wrong move, and perhaps you should think about that as well. You leave me alone, and I leave you alone.

Narcissa, Edric, Scorpius; I would like to know where your loyalties lie. Inform me at once.

Bellatrix, I’ve seen your post. We need to meet.

I recently found that Wolfram and Hart can be very understanding of one’s situation when you offer them your services and undying loyalty. Now, I am not the type to turn myself over to somebody else, but what I asked for and received in return was well worth forgetting the usual and choosing to do something new.

This would be the perfect moment for you to come pay me a visit, Potter. We could have tea and then I could kill you. What do you say? I’ll let you bring your girlfriend along and she can watch while I rip out your internal organs and shove them down your throat, without the use of my hands! Or my wand! That sounds fun, does it not?

I’m too excited to sit her much longer. I need to go out and do something with my time. I feel like assassinating somebody important… Potter is on the top of my list, but until we run into each other, I’ll be happy to murder people in his name. Children, perhaps… Little, pathetic muggle children.

I have become weary, restless, and listless with most everything. I have nothing to do, nowhere to go. I’m bored and I can no longer sit here quietly until Potter decides that it is time to strike. I need something to occupy my time with. If any of you have tasks within my range of talents that must be done, I will offer up my services to you. My willingness to work alongside anybody who requests my assistance will come with a price, so you best remember that. But I must assure you, that it will be worth it in the end.

/Tom Marvolo Riddle/

There are days where I know, just know, that the human race eliminating itself by a half or more would be the best thing ever because humanity as a whole pretty well sucks. But then I drown myself in scotch, wake up, and realize that's crazy talk. As much as I might hate the world, there are still occasionally some things that make it worth making an effort to save lives. Not many, but there are a few.

God help me, though, this is getting a little old, kids. We get it. You're badass. You want us all to know so we give your tantrums some attention. And I'm just enough of a masochist to give that to you for a moment, because you have finally roused me from extreme apathy and made me care. This is by no means a small feat but you did it! Take a bow.

Did you take it? Yes, take it, we're all waiting. Okay, taken now? Good!

Now shut the hell up. If I'm going to be stuck here in Wonderland on drugs, I'm going to have it involve less of these gosh darn freaky pleas for attention.

The socialites were having a heated gathering last night at the Hotel Roosevelt and unfortunately it didn’t end well. I’m afraid one thing led to another and ultimately, the party died down and ceased to exist after an hour of festivities. It was quite terrible. I can’t even bring myself to imagine how they will ever manage to get the blood stains out of the carpet… It will take time, I believe.

Potter, you can think of this as a present from me to you. Fifty five gifts in all. They’re cold and as stiff as a door, but it’s the thought that counts. You should consider stopping by and having a look around. I’m sure it will bring back fond memories.

I feel rejuvenated. I think I'll have a good day.

Ryan, so help me, Arthur had better be alive and well when I find you, because I will, and you can certain you're better off if I never see you again.

Harry Potter.

It’s so nice to know that you’re here and well. I hope you enjoy the city while you still have the chance. You and I, we’ll see one another soon I suppose. Bring your friends along if you’d like. The more the merrier. We’ll see how many of them I can kill before I get my hands on you. It will be an unforgettable time. I’m sure of that, just as I’m sure of the fact that you won’t be able to stay away.

And here's a small warning: You might want to keep those brats of yours close. Who knows what they could get into. Los Angeles is a dangerous place.

[Private to Damien]

I gave you something and now I want something in return. I know that, being who you are, you won’t find this all that difficult.

As you might have read, Potter is now among us. Although I personally have done nothing to him, he’ll find it necessary to try to get rid of me. If and when he shows his face, I might be in need of your assistance, especially if he doesn’t come alone.

Why the fuck is there a movie thing called Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone? Did someone completely forget to tell me something? Because I found out, you know. Google helped me a lot on that.

I honestly do not see what the big deal is over a little rain and wind. You people whine far too much. It's downright pathetic.

Ridiculous piece of Muggle machinery...

I have spent a good many years contemplating my own mortality, and what, precisely, awaited for me when that moment finally arrived. A Muggle city across the pond is hardly what I envisioned. Furthermore, considering I currently require oxygen to breathe, I am assuming I am, in fact, not dead.

That being the case, would anyone care to explain to me exactly how I managed to travel clear across the entire globe without any memory of doing such a thing? And, for that matter, why I appear to have de-aged to how I appeared in my youth?

I can assure you, I am scarcely the sort who wishes to re-visit the past and can guarantee when I find whoever is responsible, will make certain they rue the day they attempted to meddle in the affairs of Professor Severus Snape.

Guess what? I’ve gotten my hands on a few very interesting books, and a snapping young gentlemen who just loves to tell me all about a topic that I find quite insightful. But, if any of you are wondering, the young man’s name is Logan, and when Logan isn’t screaming his lungs to shreds, he loves answering my questions and gawking as if he’s seen a ghost. Or a supposed fictional character is his favorite book series.

Wow… if I’m not completely insane already, I think that could change easily.

And if Logan doesn’t shut his mouth, I think that I might just have to put an end to him and find another personal helper…

Are any of you ‘Harry Potter’ fans up for that? Any of you feel like paying my basement a visit?

It will be fun... A once in a lifetime opportunity.

This stupid place just keeps getting worse and worse! I blame you, Lavender! Will they stop at nothing?

This …device is rather pathetic, but still… convenient to me when it comes to getting out this short message.

Whoever found it entertaining to pick up their wand and send me into this disgusting place, which to my line of sight, seems to be completely overrun with Muggles, you will suffer the extreme and likely deadly consequences of your actions. Sure, you might be getting in a good laugh now, but rest assured, when I find my way back, I will rip out your tongue, gouge out your eyes, and make sure that you never get in a decent chuckle ever again.

Bloody hell, I would never set foot in this place on my own accord, not in a million years. I can already taste the fear. It's thick in the air, and unceasing. I have only been stuck here for little over seven hours, and already all I can hear is the constant whining. He did this and she did that. Now, we must all cry about it until somebody takes notice and offers us a hug.

It all makes me want to vomit.