PARABOLICAL GRAFFITI

Dean, where the hell are you?

Probably with Claire. I got a hot tip for a hunt. If you want to catch up on it, call me, okay? If not, I'll take care of it by myself.

This network is so terribly convenient. Wouldn't you agree?

Don't you just hate it when you obtain a songbird, and it won't sing? No matter how well you treat it, no matter how lovely its cage and its bonds, it's simply ungrateful. But screams are like songs, aren't they? And if you can't have one, the other will simply have to do.

I love this world's two-dimensional photography. Lord Vader, perhaps you'd like for me to send you copies of the images I've taken of my canary?


I guarantee, they'll take your breath away.

There's something very satisfying about reasserting your claims.

A child's scream is somehow so lovely. Perhaps I've acquired a taste for his present youth; the contradiction of a small, frail exterior with roiling Force-strength just below the surface is.. delicious.

He may be.. a little quiet today. I'm certain you'll all enjoy the change from his usual chattiness.

I went to Greece, to Athens and Corinth and Arkadía. Nothing is the same as it used to be. The temples are all shadows of what they once were and the air isn’t as soothing, the ground feels different and when I went to see Mount Olympus, it was foreign, empty, upsetting. It’s still beautiful but it’s beauty is bland and no longer divine.

If Zeus were here he’d make them fix everything.

This world almost makes me long for my family, although I don’t think I’d like to see Hera again. She was a bitch. The Queen of Bitches.

I think I’ll go play with the vampires. One of you should come along, one of you who isn’t human, or maybe just not a fragile, regular human. If you’re normal and weak, I might break you. I don’t care, but you might.

Oh, dear sister, this is creative! And here I was getting bored with your usual little barbs and insults. Shipping me off to another part of the city is quite the step up.

Hello, ducklings. My darling sister seems to have seen fit to subject you all to my presence. I do hope it's not an inconvenience for you. Would one of you be so darling as to let me know where it is she's put me?

Wow! Some people here sure are very grumpy. It'll be O-K!
Has anyone seen Kero? I keep losing him.

Okay. You people are weird. (I reckon you knew that.) I'm glad Mantis is back. I'm gonna go hang out in his room, away from all the crazy people. I want Mom back.

No, I didn't take no candy from strangers. There was this guy outside, and he was acting all lost, so I figured he was probably a new arrival type, but he weren't. He was just nuts. Then he pulled a vibroblade or something on me, so I whipped out my wrench and whacked him in the shins with it. Think I might've broke something, cause there was this nasty crack and he started freaking out! But he got what he deserved, you know.

Crazy earth-people. I en't never leaving the hotel again at this rate.

Quite a strange turn of events me being here.

Harry Potter.

It’s so nice to know that you’re here and well. I hope you enjoy the city while you still have the chance. You and I, we’ll see one another soon I suppose. Bring your friends along if you’d like. The more the merrier. We’ll see how many of them I can kill before I get my hands on you. It will be an unforgettable time. I’m sure of that, just as I’m sure of the fact that you won’t be able to stay away.

And here's a small warning: You might want to keep those brats of yours close. Who knows what they could get into. Los Angeles is a dangerous place.

[Private to Damien]

I gave you something and now I want something in return. I know that, being who you are, you won’t find this all that difficult.

As you might have read, Potter is now among us. Although I personally have done nothing to him, he’ll find it necessary to try to get rid of me. If and when he shows his face, I might be in need of your assistance, especially if he doesn’t come alone.

Ohohhh...This Mad Hatter was drinking a good cup of tea upside down when... suddenly (as always happens in fables!) a bright idea crossed one's mind. Oohhh~, boy Alice, boy Alice, you shouldn't be Boy Alice any longer. You belong to Wonderland! Your mother cursed you, and the world up makes you sleepy with their boring reality. This humble jester thinks you should become this Hatter's faithful Dormouse and seek the March Hare to gather up our Mad Tea Party at last.

Three is a good number, better to be a crowd than the company of two or just be one of lonesome.

Or perhaps not, one's mad and just murdering time until the Queen of Hearts states her sentence. At least, one has bought a good snake. This jester hasn't realized how much time has passed since one has enjoyed the simple pleasure of animal affection~

The snake has His Majesty's dazzling, cold eyes.

I don't know what to do, or where to go, or why I'm here. This city is very strange and the time is so unfamiliar and odd. Terrible creatures come out at night and one of them tried to bite my neck. I was so shocked that I didn't throw him away. He nearly sunk his teeth in and then he stumbled away. He called me a dead thing and hurled himself over a wall.

I miss my friends and my castle. I know I said that I wanted to come back to the living, but I didn't mean this. I don't know... I don't want to cry like a child, but I can't seem to help myself.

Does anyone else know wormhole physics? I've got a few holes in my current working theory to fill in, and I don't think half thought through and very vaguely explained science fiction is going to help much.

Out. I’m out. Out. No more handcuffs. No doctors. Out. Out.

Not home. This… is not home. My things. I want them. They’re mine .

I hate it.

"Busy old fool, unruly Sun,
Why dost thou thus,
Through windows, and through curtains, call on us?
Must to thy motions lovers' seasons run?"

My, my... so much rejoice in one side! So much woe in the other! Isn't this city just a jewel shining for this humble jester's eyes? Ahhh, weep not, those who feel crestfallen, take Mad Hatter's hand and join the mad tea party. Every day except your birthday is worth to celebrate~♪

Why so sour, o forces of wickedness? The sun is not an enemy of yours. Listen to this humble jester utter old truths that the one who is known as the Morning Star was the Father of the suns. The same Morning Star that fathered Hell.

Light. Darkness. Sun. Moon. One and the same. Forget one's advice. Who would listen to a fool, a mere jester that is here for the Court's amusement?

In conclusion, one is feeling lonely and searches for animal company. Are there any good pet stores the ladies and lords would recommend? One was thinking in purchasing a good snake. Such wise creatures, those. The sssssecrets they know how to keep from the entire world.

Lavender, you've been very anti-stalker lately. I'm almost worried.

Merlyn, you're a dead bitch.

I'm getting bored. Vampires are uncreative. You all combust from the inside out. Anyone in need of a sheriff?

What sort of madness is this? This device... I've never seen nor heard of anything quite like it. How does it function? Furthermore, what are those monstrous beasts which roll upon the paved earth? One very nearly hit me, the nerve!

I demand an explanation. No one abducts Rowena Ravenclaw and gets away with it. Never mind that it simply isn't possible to pluck someone from the safety of Hogwarts in the first place.

Salazar, if this is one of your tricks I am going to be most displeased. The same goes for you, as well, Godric.

Curiouser and curiouser...

Hmm, hmm~. Dreary weather, foreboding atmosphere. It would seem this one has wandered somewhere too distant from the King's Court! It isn't uncommon for such a whimsy jester get lost in the past, but one has outdone humble self this time!

Ladies and gentlemen, children and elderly who bother to read these modest words. Yours truly is at your disposal to scatter cheer and laughter as is a fool's simple obligation; when in need of either or both, call this Mad Hatter as one is known for almost all. You will drop by for a mad tea party sometime, yes?

I always suspected people from LA were all crazy, but now I'm certain. What the hell is wrong with this city?