PARABOLICAL GRAFFITI

Uh... OK. I know Ianto Jones is Torchwood's responsibility and all that, and yeah... I was going to let you lot take the lead on this one. But the Master (Saxon) is my responsibility, and as such.. I feel like if he hurts Ianto, that's sort of my fault in a way. So, what I mean is... since no one seems to actually be working on a plan here, I'm either going to get Ianto back with you or on my own.

Rose, Susan, Romana? I'm going to take it for granted that you're in. Donna? Fancy an extremely dangerous mission? Gwen? Come on, Gwen Cooper, I know you're in, right?

Right. Owen? Jack? I know we have our differences, but we're better as a somewhat united front.

Meet at the Venice Beach Suites and Hotel, room 301, anytime from 7pm. If you're not there, I'll assume you're not interested.

... Doctor?

...

DOCTOR THIS ISN'T FUNNY TAKE ME HOME RIGHT NOW. THE UNIVERSE IS HORRID, AND RIDICULOUS, AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.

I WANT TO GO HOME. NOW. I QUIT.

And everyone else on the internet? If you think going off into space and time with a man in a bluebox is a good idea, let me tell you it's not. Well, maybe a little, but mostly not.