PARABOLICAL GRAFFITI

I think I like this. I'm not helpless.. I can't be helpless, anymore. It's almost like it has filled this void in my life. I didn't have anything, or anyone before. I was dead afterall. But now I've got protection, and... It's given me life, so how can I deny it the same privilege?

It can be controlled, Eddie said so. That alone means I've got to give it a chance.. right? Sure it might want to hurt friends, and it has (and I'm really still sorry for that), but I would never, and I've got that will power on my side atleast.

I just need to be strong. I think. It's dependant on me, so why not be dependant on it in return? I can't get rid of it so I have to accept it.

So no more pills and loading myself up with work to keep awake. No being in at night by 5pm. I'm just going to live life like I did before I died, just.. with a slightly complicated side issue. I'm going to be the old, hip Gwen I used to be.

I think I just need to start over, with certain aspects of my life atleast. Hi everyone, my name's Gwen Stacy. I'm not crazy, just complicated. I've got the steady job working for the Hardy Foundation to prove it. I'm originally from New York and attended ESU for chemical engineering and genetics. Growing up I was a closet nerd, and still am. All my life I've wanted to be a model but that probabl won't ever happen now.

I'd appologize for everything I've done but, that'd be too big of a post. Just, know that it's not really me and I'd never hurt anyone who doesn't deserve it.
I'm not a monster.
Maybe a little intoxicated at the moment.

(ooc: reposting because I didn't like what I had the first time)

Dude... WHAT THE FUCK?

I was at a fucking kegger, went upstairs to take a leak, and suddenly, I find myself pissing on a wall in a damn alley. In fucking LA. How the hell did I get here, and where's the nearest bus station? I've gotta get back to the frathouse, man. I was chatting up this really hot and awesome chick. Can't leave her hangin.

I need to get good and drunk. Not because of recent events so much because while they're really messed up, they aren't the strangest thing to comprehend. Though it has been a few rough days and I'm afraid I can't even cry anymore because I don't have any tears left. I want to drink, but at the same time I don't want to lose control and turn into a monster or anything.. or be a victim of cruel intentions.

Some little kid handed me a comic book today.. And I looked online and I found art and stories. Some of them were... oh they were horrible.

eta: Oh my god I need to step away from the computer!

My building looks like Hell literally swept through it, and my receptionist just threw her shoe at a potted plant and then hysterically told me that it had been a monster six seconds ago. Right... And if one more person in this place thinks they’re running out the door because their goldfish is sitting at home unattended, I think I might lose my mind. Yelling gets old when you’ve been doing it for two days in a row.

I want to go outside. That’s wrong.

I saw a scary movie last night and now I'm seeing scary stuff EVERYWHERE. I'M SORRY, I'LL NEVER WATCH A SCARY MOVIE EVER AGAIN.

This fog's pretty goddamn unnerving. Anyone know what's causing it?

Well on the bright side I found this weird looking creature, and had it bite me. Think it was poisonous, because I feel pretty stoned now.

I miss Gwen, the one who was here before. I hate this city. It could have at least waited for the baby. It could have at least left me the baby. I wanted her and I wanted him too. I wanted the baby.

And some idiot threw fire at me the other day. We’re going to kill him. If you're lucky, we'll leave him at your window, Spider. We haven't left you a proper present in some time. We still hate you.

Blood and screams, there's nothing as sweet.

My night would have been better if someone hadn't been playing hero! Who needs a school bus full of kids anyways?

[ooc: anyone, feel free to claim the hero role so long as your character is capable to handle Carnage :) ]

People who died are coming back? I'm... not used to that. And I saw a dragon, too, and I wasn't even drunk. Thing took a swipe at me.

I'm glad people are back; I'm not stupid. But what the hell goes on in this city these days?

People alive again? But how.. Is that how I was brought.. Ugh this place is so confusing and just wrong!

Felicia, I'll be in to work this week hopefully but I may have to leave if I start to get sick..

Eveyone's really alive again?

Cathy? And Monica, what about Aaron?

We know something special. Ask us what it is and we might tell you. Antichrist is running around the city, playing with his toys. And we can give a name. We have his name. He tries to hide it but we know the truth. Ask us.

You know, I get the whole 'dough' part 'cause you gotta bake a doughnut to actually make one, but where in the heck do they get the nut part? Most doughnuts don't have nuts in them!

I'm gonna go get some doughnuts now.

While I'm gone, I want all of you to answer the following questions:

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
2. Have you ever eaten a crayon?
3. What are you wearing right now? ;)
4. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
5. Cowboys or Indians?

It looks like my modeling job is going to have to wait a couple more days.. because of the lights and all this craziness. Atleast it wasn't canceled or anything..

I didn't have a tv to begin with, but I forgot to grab a magazine today and thus have no entertainment. (Since I am so not going out at night alone.) Tell me something that makes you happy or atleast smile. It can be anything! A song, a video, a picture, a memory.

Mine's college, with Harry and Pete and MJ and Eddie and just, everyone.
Not sure what mine is.

whatever just happened, I didn't do it! This time I mean it, unlike the other night when I re-arranged Nick's sock drawer when he wasn't looking and blamed it on Kevin! I mean it was Kevin!..okay, now ..where am I? Aside from the obvious that I'm not where I was before.

In light of the recent tragedy, I have opted to make arrangements for those of you who have been displaced by the recent fire.

I have purchased an apartment building. 5 floors, twenty apartments per floor. Rates shall be reasonable, as determined by a private negotiation assessment of your financial standings. Rooms are currently furnished, eash has a private bathroom, yadda yadda yadda.

I doubt there is a better offer on the table.

If you have need of a place to live, let me know, and I'm certain we can reach an agreement.

I don't have a place to stay again. So I'm back at the cyber cafe. Luckily I think the manager doesn't mind me hanging around.

That was a horrible fire though. Fortunate too in a tiny way. My rent was due and I didnt have the money.

Felicia, I didn't really get a hold of any other companies other than the one's I gave you already

Well this is strange, even by my standards.

Is there a reason I'm in LA. Randomly. Without planning a trip or indeed remembering the journey.

And well that was kind of abrupt and rude so my name is Felicia Hardy of the New York Hardys and...I guess I'm new in town

Anyone in need of a model? I need the perks and the money. My rent is going to be overdue.

I'm settled in and everything now. You can stop by if you want?

Peter? Are you here? Last I heard, this is where you've been...spotted.

Is this really.. It's 2008? ...Oh God, Oh God...

Does anyone have some Advil?

I am really screwed. I am officiously in real trouble, the bad kind of trouble that happens when you decide that you’re finally going to stick a knife in your father because he won’t give you a break, and then you do it and panic because you just killed your father and left fingerprints and strands of hair everywhere before taking off in his Porsche. For the record, I didn’t kill my father. If he were here I’d feel like killing him very slowly and making sure that it was painful. I never did anything to him. It’s not my fault my mother died in childbirth. You can’t take your anger out on an innocent child who had nothing to do with his mother’s death.

Anyway… Now that I’ve officially ditched Lex I know that he’ll be throwing everything he’s got at me. If it was only me I wouldn’t care and we might even laugh in his face a few times. But the thing is, it’s not just me and now I have to worry about Gwen and the baby. Going after her would be the best way for him to hurt me. He must know that. He wanted me to kill this kid, Ron Weasley, and I told him I wouldn’t do it, and then more came out and here I am. Screwed

Gwen, I did something terrible. I asked an evil witch to make you love me and now you do and I feel bad because when you say you love me, I know it’s only because of the spell and that it’s not real. And I'm not who you think I am.

I really don't like this constant need to pee, and why is it called morning sickness when it lasts all day?

One of the secretaries at Luthorcorp has puppies that she needs to get rid of, because her house isn’t big enough for ten dogs, which I can understand perfectly. Gwen, I think we should have a puppy. Do you want a puppy? I think you do. Puppies are small and adorable and we should take one from Brenda the secretary and then you can name it and we can have a puppy. So, do you want to go look at them? I think you should come with me so we can see them. The secretary says that we should take one. Maybe that isn’t such a bad idea?

Anyone else who wants a puppy should go see them too. Unless you’re evil and like to kill small animals when you have nothing better to do. If that’s the case, then I don’t think you should have a dog because maybe something bigger and more ferocious would be better for you?

So… umm, I’ll go back to making sure that nobody is trying to break into the mansion now and then I’ll be going home I guess.

But before I do that: Gwen, if somebody calls or knocks on the door or comes up to you outside, don’t listen to them. They don’t know what they’re talking about. I was at the apartment all last night and I wasn’t even out when you were sleeping.

[Private to Ivy]

I haven't seen you in a while. I need to come see you. Something terrible has happened.

...I don't think this is New York.

Gwen, don’t go outside. Some idiot just left a huge mess outside of the door. I have no idea why they felt the impulsive urge to smear blood everywhere, but they did and now the lady next door is bitching because apparently she just swept the sidewalk yesterday and she said that she’s not doing it again. There’s somebody who has been ripped to pieces in a way that looks like it must have been extremely excruciating, but all she’s worried about is her precious sidewalk.

What’s wrong with the so called evil doers of this city? Is it a little too hard to clean up your messes? Did mommy used to do that for you? Well, that's too bad isn’t it? I guess you’re all going to have to learn to pick up your messes all on your own now. I know it sounds hard, but I also know that if you put your minds to it, you can manage it.

[Private to Integral]

Have you spoken to the souled vampire yet? I was curious and thought I’d ask.

[Private to Willow]

You were at the meeting. You interested me, I asked about you and somebody said that you were a witch, and a very powerful one at that. I have a slight problem and if you were willing to help me with it, I’d be in your dept.

I hate vampires. They all think they’re so clever when they’re ‘sneaking up on you’ in the dark. They just think they’re so evil and bad and dangerous, but then they die so easily, like those annoying flies that you have to splatter against the window because they won’t stop buzzing around like they’re important.

I’ve turned so many of them to dust that I’ve officially lost count. Why do there have to be so many? Can’t they just realize that they should stop trying to eat people and go somewhere else?

I swear, they love following me around in dark alleys, so that they can gape and then die. Seriously, I’m not that amazing. There’s no need to stare. It’s rude.

This is not New York City, how did I get here? Now I might be bad at science but since when can someone go to sleep in one place and wake up in another?

Dr. Connors is going to kill me if I’m late for class again…