PARABOLICAL GRAFFITI

Entirely overreacting here, but I want to throw something at Faith for talking about Willow to Kennedy like that.

Talk me down, ladies. Talk. Me. Down.

[Filtered; Xander, Anya, Tara, Kendra]
When the insanity of not real people showing up stops, you guys wanna go do something? Catch a movie? Or movie night in? Just anything?
[/Filter]

In two days it will be the twenty-fourth. Future Xander said I'm going to die in two days. I just thought I'd point out that one of the 'end of the world' things is happening in 48 hours, unless I'm getting dates wrong.

[Filtered; Ruby]
Apparently you went missing again. Did those people come back? Are you okay?

Kennedy begged for doughnuts.

Then I ended up buying more than I should have. So there's a variety box in the kitchen. First come first serve.

So I'm minding my own business. Kicking bad guy culo. Taking names. Looking ridiculously good in leather while I do it, if I do say so myself. I had just given this hombre talking to, when I spotted another bastardo coming out of nowhere. Can I point out how rude it is to try and sneak up on somebody? Anyway, I was all ready to shout out 'Hark who goes there!', when I ended up here.

Now. My theories are brain injury and concussion from that wall my head .. grazed or in truth I've fallen through the rabbit hole and in the next few seconds a cat suffering from Delusional Disorder will come up to me and tell me that this is all a wonderful life.

Brain damage. Or insanity. What's your theory. Feel free to discuss. I'm curious. My theory is insanity. Seeing as people here seem to think vampires exist and there are a lot of websites devote to Kent. It's disturbing

And did you know that my laptop isn't here? And that I'm not very happy about that? I thought you all should know. Hopefully, you'll be nice enough to point me to the direction of the person I should beat up blame.

ETA: Anyone want to tell me why Metropolis isn't on any maps but it shows up on wiki? Under comics?

[ooc: As Angel of Vengeance]

I want to hit some stuff. I am way, way too out of practice and that needs to be rectified. Bad guy asskickings are required.

I spent two weeks as a dumb girly girl, it's so wrong. besides, early birthday present to me

And Xander- Not One Word. But, thanks.

Who here thinks that carrying guns to a bank, outside or not, is stupid with a side of crazy?

Please, raise your hand.

I've found Faith. I'm bringing her back to the hotel.

She doesn't know who she is.

[ooc: Updated through his phone, backdated to the 20th.]

I have no toys or stuffed animals to jump at me. Thankfully apparently there are more toys here than I knew about to make up for that fact.

But I was watching Practical Magic and have a sudden craving for Midnight Margaritas.

I'll have you all know that I have no intention of ever turning into a deal-making, friend betraying, bastard of a man who I hate with the fury of a thousand suns and wish to do nothing more than drop into the belly of a boiling volcano from hell on a Saturday afternoon. Why Saturday afternoon? Because that is the best moment of the best day of every week ever and it would very much be the most inconvenient time to die. Around five.

I believe I said I was tired of being 'ported against my will to random places.

Whoever did this, you better damn well hope you have an entire army protecting you. Though that might not be enough.

Frigging Russia.

She never showed up for training. She never not shows up, she's never late. Her cell phone isn't connecting, and I can't find her anywhere.

Someone tell me where the hell my mother is.

I'm about two seconds away from knocking out one of the people in my life I always knew I could count on. This entire place really likes to screw with your mind. Completely spiraling out of my hands and it's driving me insane. What happened to people trusting me or even listening? I've spent twelve years getting to where I was and now I'm knocked back down to nothing. Might as well just take the slayer card next.

I don't want to be executed, I don't want to be slaughtered by mega vampires, and I don't want my best friends acting like they don't even know me anymore. Or maybe I just don't know them anymore? I don't want to fight machines or alien species, and I don't even know what to think about a kid when I have a hard enough time with my own sister. And I don't know what to think about Spike and how much he confuses me. I miss my mom. I miss Giles. I miss Willow. I miss being able to make the call that I think will work, and it's been working for years so far. I don't know how Faith deals with this crap, and at the same time I want to smack her because she can, and everyone turns to her now. When did everything get backwards? I miss sex, and I miss actually connecting to people. And why the hell did the PTB have to send crazy versions of me here.

No one cares about your rant, Buffy. Go hit something.

There was a shoe sale. I might have gone a bit shoe happy.

You all need to leave this city while you still can.

Don't make me tell you again.

[Filtered to baddies.]
Who do I talk to about taking down a couple Slayers? Even some of their stronger friends?

I don't want them dead. Only out long enough for me to transport them outta here.

I think you'll find it to be an appealing thing on all your parts. Good guys out of your hair, an inside man willing to make it work. You can keep L.A. The city is gonna burn anyway It's quite the opportunity.

Why am I in Los Angeles? Why does the date say that it is two thousand and six? What kind of sorcery is this? Tell me who is responsible for taking me away from my mission in Sunnydale? I nee want to know right now.

Is this the right um message board? I hope it is. There was this nice woman that told me that I could find information here or at the Welcome Center, I thought it might be easier and best to introduce myself on this first.

Hi, everyone. I'm Tara. Tara Maclay and I'm new here. In case you ... maybe you might have missed that I'm not really good with these things. Introducing myself, not that I'm bad at it or anything, I just Using message boards. So .. just, hi.

I look forward to getting to know all of you.

So...I'm Tenel Ka Solo!

Or Tenel Ka Djo-Solo? I think that has too many 'O' sounds. Also it would be Queen Mother Tenel Ka Chume' Ta Djo-Solo.

Hapan names and title get confusing. Either way we sucsessfully did it. And then kind of vanished for a while. I doubt anyone blames us.

There's actually not much to do by way of the whole helping thing when you're on the bad side of Miss Bitch Slay-Queen and your patrols get done anyway

I actually stopped a crime. This looser guy with a knife, he had some poor girl by the arm, so I grabbed the knife and made sure he wasn't getting up any time soon. Then the cops showed and everything. Weirdly, there weren't many vampires on my route, the vampires were suspiciously lacking last night actually, almost like someone got there before me which is a little pointless, wasting time and resources and all but whatever. Not my call. Still helping is helping even when stakes and superpowers aren't involved.

I think some people forget that sometimes.

Not that I don't love a good round of vague creepiness or appreciate how funny it is when Eve gets shut down (and sweetie, have you noticed? It happens a lot), but I'm tired of staring at these boards. Who's up for dinner?

{Lindsey}
You. Did you know there's another you walking around?

{Angel}
How ya holdin' up, Big Guy?

There's been a severe lack of pie lately. It's a little depressing. Clark, you should fix this.

You know what I really fancy? A party. Not for any particular reason, but just because we could all use a night off to relax. Because so much happens in this city, some good and some bad and I think every now and then we should just all take some time to appreciate what we do have.

And I don't just mean one of the groups here, I mean all of us who aren't evil. Together. For group harmony and all of that.

Opinions? Comments?

Its been a good few days. What with from my own personal fun of taking bets on when Sam Winchester snaps and goes on some kind of crazy evil power trip, if Faith stops whining and instead gives in and gets herself committed, if Spike gets over his quote unquote "Daddy issues with Angel", if Buffy wakes up and smells the replacement and kills her in an amazing fit of jealous rage, or if Phillip the accounting goat ever finds his way back home. Seriously, its adoreable, He's just like Lassie.

Anyone else want to make us a soap opera? Just me?

[Filtered to Newcomers]


 I've noticed a few new faces, and since I'm told I'm the friendly face of Wolfram and Hart I thought I'd extend hellos.

Eve. Liason to the Senior Partners, Potentially the ones that brought you here. We'd really have to talk more to determine that and really I'd love to meet.

Leg cramps! Need food! FOOD!

The Wedding is going to be today. Small ceremony, just the bridal party, but then you're all welcome to join us to celebrate. I've booked a hall at [Address], Nothing fancy, I've had enough of that.

...Its been too long coming.

Jacen gets a party?

Do I get a party?

I get shopping don't I?. Can there be shopping?

ETA:

LEASH?

Do you want to explain Xander?

I think this calls for some refocusing of attention

[screencap of this]

I spy with my little eye something that needed a reminder.

i still do not understand this.

i'm called eponine. E E Eponine. Cathy.

Cathy that one makes names look proper

I need a roll call on who usually takes part in the getting rid of bad guys in the city deal. Or at least, anyone who's in against the Scourge. I don't know many of you, so I need to know who you are and what you can do. There's two places the Scourge are located, so I need to know the numbers and skills we have to work with. I understand the Justice League is in, but that doesn't really mean much to me, other than powerful people, so I'd like a roll call from you guys too.

I've heard talk of disguises, ideally it would be awesome if we could have people on the inside. But I don't know if we have time for something like that, so probably not, unless someone people are really just that good.

If anyones good with bows, crossbows, attacking from a distance, let me know that as well.

[Xander]
I need you on this. If you're up for it.

I'm just research girl, not a leader, and I've been staying out of this but I have to say something now.

I know there's bad feelings. I'm sorry for that, I really am, and I promise I'm not about to get all speechy. But we got a big, purifying, goose stepping problem and we need everyone together on this so we a.) don't lose anymore people because that'd be very sad and b.) can get rid of this problem. AI and the Justice League and Team Rock Salt and all the allies near and far. I know we don't agree. There's a lot of different schools of thought here thanks to the mixture of people from all the times and places and dimensions and experiences that we got. Disagreements are natural and expected and hurt feelings are unfortunately going to happen. But there's gotta be a common ground we can meet on, right? Then after, people can sit down and talk or give cold shoulders or yell or move on or send people to sit in the corner for time out all they want. That was a lot more than I meant to say and kind of rambley. Sorry.

Also? I like y'all a lot but I got a big 15th century demon compendium and I'm not afraid to use it.

I guess there's a time when you've actually been pushed too far. Not the same for everyone but everyone has that line. Its just hard watching it I guess.

This city deserves better.

Alright, let's see if I have this. The Scourge is running loose in the city and killing demons, even innocent ones. No one knows when they're going to strike or how to find them. The only clues we have are the demons who were killed, and then un-dead, but don't want to talk. So now there is a moral debate over how this should be handled, and everyone is getting frustrated over it. I realize this is priority and has to be taken care of as soon as possible, but arguing among yourselves is going to make this even worse. If you have a leader, they're a leader for a reason. You have to trust them, even if you're not going to like it. Yes, I know, not in charge, just saying.

People who were dead are alive, and Jedi are real. Apparently so is Superman, and god only knows who else. Angel Investigations has a large membership now though most people don't know much about Angel? And now has many levels of management.

I'm the third or fourth Buffy to come through here. Chances are, I'm not like the other ones. They seem to be years in my past. Personal development.

If I'm missing anything at all, please fill me in now. My mind's on a roll.

...you know, I think I'll hit something.

Next person who 'ports me somewhere with out asking, or at least warning me is getting punched, a disapproving frown, and a serious lecture. By Willow while she still fol, about the misuse of magic. Just a heads up.

At least I didn't make with the returning of my lunch.

Now, who brought me back to the US of A in the middle of important things? Hello, LA, you're actually looking a better than I thought you would be. 'Port me back.

[ooc: note, Anya does not include Ruby as a bad guy!]

Okay, so these Scourge guys. I've heard of them. They're demons who hate anything with humanity in them so that's pretty much all of us screwed. Even you, Ruby, and angel dude. Those are human vessels you're gallivanting about in. Vampires all used to be human, anyone genetically different, you have human DNA. They view humanity as a taint, a plague on this Earth to be wiped out.

And I know, the real simple answer would be to kill them right? Only it's not so simple.

Everyone knows this symbol" right? Across the world, everyone recognizes it and what it means. Over 60 years ago some mad little Austrian guy decided to take over the world. And he's long dead, along with his people, problem solved.

Except it's not. More than 6 decades later, people are still tattooing themselves with this, and committing hate crimes in the name of calling themselves Nazis. Hitler is dead, but the ideals live on in a fanatical few.

It's the same with the Scourge. They will never stop. You can kill as many of them as you like, more will pledge themselves to the cause. They always do.

Heya, Jackie! Old buddy, old pal.

We need to discuss a few things in relation to me being your best man. Because there are rules. Very important rules.

Uhhh. Guys.

I found a...thing. With a vampire. And...uh.

Anyone know how to change diapers?

I'm Jackie's best man! The bestest of the best!

Well, isn't this shiny and new?

Hello, 2006. You're...kinda a let down, not gonna lie.

No no no no...

...Can't do it.

And I tried, I really did try but I could never be strong like him.

I was dead. It was done, I was free and now this...

God its everywhere

Um, okay so like - does someone want to tell me where I am? I went to bed in my very nice, NORMAL bed - with excellent thread count on my sheets btw, and then I woke up and like -- is this Kansas? I don't want to BE in Kansas. I never ever wanted to go to Kansas. Some girls wanna be Dorothy and that's cool because her shoes were really nice, but I don't do the pigtail and plaid thing.

Uh. Seriously. I don't mean to be freaking out here - BUT I AM. I'm supposed to meet my boyfriend, Will, tonight for a really fancy dinner and if I don't have at least three hours to get ready then the entire night is going to be ruined. I'm not trying to be dramatic but I have a serious timecrunch! I need the next bus out of this place and back to where the zip codes are nice. From there I'll call Daddy and he'll have to send a car or something. Oh God...do you think I was date raped and then brought here!? Roofied? Oh God, Oh God. This happens all the time in movies and 20/20! Omg. I need to take one of those pills! I CANNOT get pregnant - you don't look hot in a silk miniskirt by Dior if you're PREGNANT!

I just want to go home and I'm going to SUE the asses off of whoever did this to me. You'll pay!

xoxo,
Buffy Summers, resident of California, member of the Zeta Omega Zeta sorority, eldest daughter to Hank and Joyce Summers

[ooc: For her swap, Buffy was never chosen as a Slayer and stayed a bubblegum-chomping valley girl. Her parents stayed together, and got loaded. She did end up in Sunnydale - befriending Cordy and Harmony, mocking Xander Harris! Somehow, this life isn't at all any better!]

Do you have any idea what Buffy's been thinking about?

Mortals.

I know technically I am one these days, but come on. Were you always this stupid as a species or is this another side effect of the dragging whammy?

No killing werewolves. Or me. Not afraid to bring out the magic if anyone tries either. If anyone has a problem with that I'll get out the whiteboard and draw them a diagram to show how stupid they are. Welcome to LA. Get some sunglasses to protect you against the shades of gray here.

Morons.