PARABOLICAL GRAFFITI

Is this really what people are reduced to doing with their lives nowadays? Posting every little problem that has ever plagued them on a public message board for the world to see?

So some god decided to shit you out sixty two years ago, only to leave you with a list full of burdens and his two week old sextuplets? Well guess what? NOBODY cares. Someone calls you a whore or an idiot or a purple groundhog and you move on with your life. Get over it. It’s really not that hard to do.

In case you people didn’t notice, you have a city full of psychos, clowns, evil lunatics and God only knows what else. One of these days one of them is going to decide that he wants to turn the world into a giant bowl of ice cream and the person who can stop it won’t be there. He or she will be here. Whining like a three year old and hoping to get hours of attention and buckets full of sympathy.

You’re not the feature story on Oprah. Stop acting like it.

Okay, I'm not from Los Angeles. I've never seen a vampire, demons are a little outside my sphere of belief, I won't even get started on magic, and all the talk about God being here makes me want to gag. Thanks to staying at the LA Welcoming Center, I've been given the breakdown on just what exactly is going on here, and quite frankly, I'm still trying to decide if this isn't one big mass hallucination. Though that building-turned-tentacle...thing kind of...

I have a point. I may be nobody. Shit, from what I've seen around here, I want to stay nobody. But people are dying, and getting hurt, and I don't want to be one of them. I'm learning, and I'm seeing names that I recognize. Superman. Batman. Luke Skywalker. These are heroes. Then there are other names, ones that I don't know. Slayers. Champions. I see Petrelli get thrown around a lot. Cathy seems to know that one. (Or is it those ones?)

I see places. Wayne Industries, I know. The JLA, I've heard of. But Torchwood, Angel Investigations, Wolfram & Hart, the Weir? I don't know those ones. The gossip chain says heroes at Angel Investigations. The Hyperion Hotel. But they seem pretty busy. Busy saving people.

I'm a doctor. And I know there's a lot of people to save. I have to deal with anywhere between fifteen and thirty a shift before I started working for House anyway. I know you have to pick your battles.

But I don't want to die. I haven't A lot of people don't want to die. So... can we just... try and stop the ones that want to kill us all? Please? There's too many threats out the door right now, and I'm living. I'm staying inside and I'm living. But I'd like to go out and live.

What is a 'shower'? Can't just be rain, because I can't take rain, eh?

A new heiress in town with miracle healing pits on her back lawn? She must have something interesting stored up in that house of hers.

This could be the perfect thing to get me back into shape...

I thought Gotham was crazy, but this place takes the cake.

[ OOC: Posted as Selina. ]

What's it like, being a muggle? Is it boring?

You know, it's funny being back here again. Feels the same. Feels different, too. At least my mansion came here with me. If I'd never been here before, I'd think I had smoked too much yeyo. That breaks the second rule, you know: never get high on your own supply. 'Course, not everyone follows that, eh? My wife didn't.

But now that I'm here once again.. time to get into business. Get some more. Get back on top. Gonna get the money, the power.. and if it goes my way, the hot women. Seen a few already. Gonna take this city by the balls. For those I never met before, my name is Tony Montana. I came from Cuba to get away from those Communist cockroaches. And I'm looking to expand.

HeY, lOs AnGeLes! LeTS PlaY A lIttlE gAMe. yoU kNOw hoW iT GOeS!


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H I C K O R Y   D I C K O R Y   D O C K

T H E   M O U S E   R A N   U P   T H E   C L O C K

T H E   C L O C K   S T R U C K   O N E

A N D   I S I S   E X P L O D E D

Of course, the stick figure I'll be drawing is just a representation of Frank here. Frank will be our hanged man tonight. I tried to find Jason but, well gee, I already killed him, didn't I? Anyone seen my crowbar?

[edited after game]
BRANIAC WINS!

So, how much can you believe what you read?

When would you like to meet?

When I said I wanted a vacation I should have specified that my vacation of choice does not include the following: An excessive amount of cameras positioned outside of my building, vampires with fashion senses that I haven’t seen in person since the late eighties, a receptionist who would rather pull up youtube and watch George Bush trying his hardest (and failing) to not say something that sounds like it's just come straight from the mouth of a seventh grade boy, when she should be doing what I pay her to do, and most importantly, a clown whose sanity is as dead as prehistoric America.

But thinking about it, I have no right to complain. It could be worse. I could still be on America’s Most Wanted. I could be in an asylum with padded walls and heavy medication. The list goes on.

[Filtered to Barbara Gordon]
Do you mind if I drop by within the next few days? I’d like to see you.

[ooc: Posted as Bruce Wayne]

They say life is full of surprises, but when you're in one part of the country one minute and all the way across it the next... don't you think that's a bit much—even for life's crazy standards?

But since I'm here, I might as well make the best of it. I've been looking for an excuse to get out of Gotham, anyway.

[ OOC: Posted as Selina. ]