PARABOLICAL GRAFFITI

I'm asking to meet with you both. You are all right; we can't just hide from him. But to do anything, we need information.

I think you know what I am going to ask, and I respect it if you refuse. I mean that. We'll find a different way if we have to.

I see that this has become the default arena for confessing one is lost and quite out of their element. So...what in the seven hells am I doing in Muggle Los Angeles?

[Hexed private to any witches/wizards]
And I cannot Apparate back to London? Is there a ward on this whole city?

It would seem we are facing a bit of a situation, as I'm certain you're already well aware. Clearly the others are going to look to you for guidance and I find myself with little other choice as well, given the Headmaster has yet to join us in this place.

So what will it be, Mister Potter? Shall we all simply wait for the inevitable, or shall we begin to take more proactive measures and prepare for what is to come?

Bloody hell. Someone please tell me I'm going mad, and that there isn't a Dark Mark in the sky.

They're hurting or killing someone. Right now.

I haven't even been here a whole day yet, and it already feels like my life is ruined. I do not like this! I won't put up with it, I just won't. I have things to do back home and Draco has a son with someone else and the sodding Weasleys and Potters are here and I'm going to go completely nutters.

That being said, any former/current Slytherins around here? There has to be someone I can stand in this place.

Ridiculous piece of Muggle claptrap.

Perhaps someone can explain to me how I found myself at that cursed shack outside the school in Scotland one moment, and in this... apparent excuse for a proper city, the next? Also if anyone could further explain why I'm very much alive rather than dead as I distinctly remembering becoming before arriving here, that would also be beneficial.

In other words, for those dunderheads incapable of understanding phrases outside of the basic vocabulary of a small child:

How did I come to be here, and how is it I'm once again alive?

( Private to Lavender Brown )

( Private to Severus Snape )

Good morning,

I wonder if someone could be so kind as to direct me to the nearest connection to the Floo Network? I appear to have had some sort apparating mishap, and it's probably safer for me to use the Network until I can figure out what exactly went wrong.

Many thanks,
R.J Lupin.

Okay, I'm definitely pissed off now! Seriously.. what the fuck? Did someone turn my bag into a portkey? I shouldn't even be here.

Not in this place, not in this time. Someone better give me answers! I demand an explanation for this bullshit. Immediately.

Mister Weasley, it would seem we have some unfinished business to attend to. Namely, my making good on my promise of what would occur should you tamper in my affairs.

I AM GOING TO KILL YOU, YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR HUMAN FLESH. AS SOON AS I GET WITHIN HEXING DISTANCE I AM GOING TO SHOW YOU PRECISELY WHY I WAS SO HONORED AS TO SIT AT THE RIGHT HAND OF THE DARK LORD HIMSELF!!!!

I wonder, have you even the nerve to respond to this, or has your backbone ceased to exist without your precious Potter at your side?

Um...

What is this? Was there a port key or something?

Can someone direct me back to Hogwarts please?

Ridiculous piece of Muggle machinery...

I have spent a good many years contemplating my own mortality, and what, precisely, awaited for me when that moment finally arrived. A Muggle city across the pond is hardly what I envisioned. Furthermore, considering I currently require oxygen to breathe, I am assuming I am, in fact, not dead.

That being the case, would anyone care to explain to me exactly how I managed to travel clear across the entire globe without any memory of doing such a thing? And, for that matter, why I appear to have de-aged to how I appeared in my youth?

I can assure you, I am scarcely the sort who wishes to re-visit the past and can guarantee when I find whoever is responsible, will make certain they rue the day they attempted to meddle in the affairs of Professor Severus Snape.