PARABOLICAL GRAFFITI

Oh actually being out of the TARDIS is a strange feeling.

It's so fun to find out one of your...toys have been brought here. Enjoy yourself, Handsome Jack. I'm sure you and your little team will have fun here.

It's getting louder, can't you hear it?

The constant drumbeat, the constant tapping. It's inability to stop altogether, only hide for a matter of seconds when it's compared to the length of time. 

Closer and closer and closer.

Why am I not on Gallfrey? And why's my head sounding so...quiet? 

Thete, I can feel you lurking up there. Why do I look so different, I don't remember regenerating. I've not even finished at the Academy yet.

What's going on?!

Right so this Christmas thing are any of the non-Earthlings planning anything, or am I just getting sentimental and easily led in my old age?

Is there anyone who actually likes it here, or is at least content to the fact that we are just trapped here like lab rats or something? I can't help but feel like this is all a sick game, like one of those gross Saw movies or something.

What a pathetic Human custom.

This isn't how it's supposed to happen. Faith..I should have been out there. God damnit..

Hell, if it's not one small thing it's the bloody Armageddon. This is not my world and I refuse to perish in it.

I believe most sane people regardless what "sides" they chose in morality would like to avert this phenomena. Who amongst you are already organising? The more information, the better. As a devout Protestant, I am familiar with the Scriptures and Cronqvist has an immense library in Castlevania.

Well now, that was rather an experience. Dear Leela she did what she thought was right but even so it pains me that I am here and not there. Still I must adjust to it and work out my next course of action

Yes, how to explain. Some of you knew Fred, And I was Fred. Or she was me, I am a Time Lady and Fred was a human, I was...made human, so I would survive the end of a horrible war.  And survive it I did.

My name is Romanadvoratrelunder, Romana will suffice, and I, by all rights should have died along with my world.

As it is, they sent me away and made me human, hoping it would give me a chance. It has.

But my restoration, it does mean that....Fred is, unfortunately...gone.

Peter Petrelli thank you for your aid to her. It was a difficult time but you put her on a path.

Martha Jones...what can I say beyond, outstanding. Whatever regeneration you traveled with, I am sure you made him exceptionally proud. You have helped me so very much Miss Jones.I am grateful, as was Fred Smith at the end.

{Filtered to the Master and the Rani}

As the Lady President of the Council of Time Lords I must insist you both explain your actions to me?

Master, you...you will need to tell me why you ran. And Harold Saxon the British Prime Minister...What have you been up to since I had you restored. ?

And Rani...Why did you never return, while the Time Lords suffered and died, why did you never bother to fight?

{Filtered to Fourth Doctor}

I cannot believe you didn't recognize the name Fred!  It really could have been the only name a human me would have right? And Fred Smith, no less,Thought you were smarter than that! Its so good to see you again and I am so sorry I had to leave. But as I said to you then I had to be my own Romana.

I have missed you.

My partner and I are planning on going demon hunting soon, I'm very much against us being killed so I was rather hoping you might be able to give me some advice about weaponary and the like. Perhaps even tell me where to find the necessary equipment.

The drums are getting louder and louder.

I need something to calm them.

I don't understand mortals.

Why do you all get so embarrassed at the idea of an orgasm friend? Orgasms have been shown to be very beneficial to one's health and really, you're mortal, you should all be doing everything you can to sustain a long and healthy life, by your standards at least.

And what I really don't understand is the people who have the perfect potential orgasm friend available to them and insist on being coy about it. You lot only live about 80 years each, you don't have time to waste!

Everyone should have an orgasm friend.

I need a new one since Xander doesn't remember me. Which is a shame.

Alright, I'm sort of spamming today I suppose but...

Well its not every day the dead Prime Minister of Britain tells you you fought in some war and that you...brought him back from the dead or something equally impossible

Never liked him, whole country singing his praises but he really was nothing more than a slimy git, even for a Politician.

Also um...does anyone know anything about...and I feel weird asking this...about telepathy, putting thoughts in someones head.

So...there are Vampires. Real, actual, vampires.

Seems I was hasty in my dismissal, luckily I was saved by a very lovely man with a most impressive scarf who's name I have managed to forget...

Why am I so forgetful lately?

Anyway, I wanted to say sorry to those I didn't believe, I suppose this place exists somewhere outside of any science I know.

Anything else weird and wonderful I should know exists

Well this is weird.

I mean really very weird. I was here for a scientific conference, which happened fine, it was all very lovely even if the hotel was dreadful, but I get to LAX and I'm told my flights cancelled...like...all of them. I tried busses, trains, even a bloody boat. But nothing,

There some kind of protest against travel no one told me about.

Its like something doesn't want me to leave here.

Anyway till I figure this out I was told this was the best place to ask so, hello. Names Fred Smith, Winifred if we're being particular since its whats on my passport. I'm a Bio Chemist based out of London.

He'd have told me.

He'd have warned me.

This city will pay in cries of pain.

I've come to the conclusion that I actually like it here. I understand this probably makes be certifiable and definitely in the minority, but as far as a planet to be stuck on this one isn't too bad. It's better than Earth should be at least, much more interesting. I even like some of the people here and I like, very few people generally.

Oh and speaking of people I can bear - Faith dear I have that vodka still, unless you've changed your mind.

( filtered to the Master )

I wonder if it's too late to consider a name change.

Also I promised someone a tour of my TARDIS, I don't recall getting a name so contacting said person is a little difficult, but since everyone seems to read these here seems a good place to mention it.

[OOC: Backdated to the same time as Ten]


He said it! He finally said it! 

True he was drunk...But does that make a difference? He said he wasn't actually that drunk...

Oh god. He said it, though. Could it get any better than that!?

There's something rather... peculiar going on.

And I'm not just talking about the rubbish with this Magneto chap.

I've been here roughly about a week, and I keep having this... strange feeling. It's rather distressing, a bit... burdening. I keep feeling as though I'm not alone... that here, I'm not the last Time Lord. I'm sensing others... which, quite frankly, is impossible. Then again, everything about this place, and how I got here is impossible. The fact that I'm with Rose again is impossible. And yet, it's all true. So perhaps my feeling... isn't quite wrong.

Yes, I'm aware I'm rambling on a bit.

My point is... anyone seen anything out of the ordinary here? Like... something that shouldn't be there, and yet somehow is? I know my TARDIS counts in that category, but do ignore it, yes?

Can't say I'm too happy bein' here in Los Angeles. Never heard anything about Los Angeles bein' all full of them fairy tale imaginary friends. Now, I'm not saying anything, but most of you people here don't smell human at all.

I reckon I'm going to have to find a way out of this place. See, I've got something important to do. But, while I'm searching, I reckon I gotta take care of myself. Find myself a coin dealer, and a place to stay.

Then maybe I'll go fishing. You folks like fishing?

( Filtered to the Master )

Good show.

Good show!

Absolutely amazing.

Judging by what I've been seeing, I guess the only thing you people do for fun is watch T.V.

Apparently someone did this. I don't really care why.

I've just found a number of crates of hyper vodka!

This would be one of the many great things about owning a TARDIS, you never know what you're going to find in one of it's rooms.

In fact now I think of it I'm sure I have a wine cellar somewhere around here.

With all these vampire hunters around I thought some of you might be interested in the opportunity to lay low, not have to hunt to feed and the like.

I've been working on sythesizing human blood and was rather hoping some of you might be willing to give your opinion so that I can fine tune the recipe as it were, then once it's perfected I will able to start supplying to those that would rather not hunt the people in this town.

Has anyone seen my pet? Around 6", scrawny, wears a suit, not housetrained, rather clingy.

This really isn't funny, particularly since we're still stuck here!

Okay, I cannot believe I'm asking this but...oh Rassilon! I need to go clothes shopping, for, well, feminine items, only it's never exactly been a priority before and I'd hate to get it wrong so...would anyone care to accompany me? I ideally someone that knows what they're doing so I don't come across as being completely useless with this kind of thing?

Ah hello! Oh my I seem to have found myself in quite a situation. This is surely not England. Has the old girl done something silly again? Hmm…this seems to be a fixed point in time and space and I can’t seem to get my Tardis to function. Oh this is not good, not good at all!

[Filtered to Martha Jones]

Martha? What can you tell me about the Master?


[Filtered to Friends of the Doctor, excluding the Master]

We have to figure out how to get the Doctor back. I've never met the Master, but the Doctor's warned me to stay away from him- but I can't just sit back and do nothing! Does anybody know anything about the Master? Anything that might help?

Since it probably sounds less ominous coming from me, I'm fine. Sorry if I had anyone worried.

( Filtered to the Doctor )

For those who are concerned, the Doctor's safe and sound with me.

Um. So. Now that this no talking thing is over and done with, and I've got things...slightly pieced back together, can anyone tell me where to find a big blue box?

I'm hungry and I can't find Giselle and this is all becoming goddamned ridiculous.

Well...I certainly didn't work this hard to ensure I wouldn't be recognised in a new housing scheme to only be plucked from it whilst on the verge of a breakthrough. So basically, what the hell happened there? I should feel after shocks if it was anything like a teleport but I don't. Also...where the hell am I?

So where's all the self-proclaimed big, bad and uglies? I don't think I've seen any yet. It's sorely disappointing.

Edit: And because I refuse to make another post just for this...what's with the mortals at the moment? I was just approached and asked if my 'codpiece' was as full as it looked. While I'm all for being forward and stating what's on your mind, even for me..that was a bit of a shock. It got me laid though..so I'm not really complaining.

Susan has gone. Her TARDIS is missing, so I'm assuming it was intentional. At least when I abandoned her I said goodbye first! Please, come back for me.

There are days where I know, just know, that the human race eliminating itself by a half or more would be the best thing ever because humanity as a whole pretty well sucks. But then I drown myself in scotch, wake up, and realize that's crazy talk. As much as I might hate the world, there are still occasionally some things that make it worth making an effort to save lives. Not many, but there are a few.

God help me, though, this is getting a little old, kids. We get it. You're badass. You want us all to know so we give your tantrums some attention. And I'm just enough of a masochist to give that to you for a moment, because you have finally roused me from extreme apathy and made me care. This is by no means a small feat but you did it! Take a bow.

Did you take it? Yes, take it, we're all waiting. Okay, taken now? Good!

Now shut the hell up. If I'm going to be stuck here in Wonderland on drugs, I'm going to have it involve less of these gosh darn freaky pleas for attention.