PARABOLICAL GRAFFITI

I keep waking up and thinking I’m back home with aliens who need to get their asses kicked for wanting to do who knows what to my friend. It’s weird to turn on the news and not hear them talking about mutants or superheroes who love spandex way too much. I kinda miss that. I wouldn’t even be pissed off if I stepped out my door and ran into Wolverine or Iron Man because at least they’re people from my world and I would recognize them. Even though they suck in a major way.

My LA was so fucking messed up but at least it was home. This place isn’t. This place is just a freak show that I don’t know much about. And I swear to God if my asshole parents ever show up here I’m throwing myself headfirst off a bridge.

Hey, you guys have that team and people everywhere keep telling me about it and since I’m all stuck here and can’t go home I wanted to talk to you about stuff. Molly, the kid with the hats and the major ass kicking ability was staying there before she got sent back so I’ve been around there a few times before. Anyway I don’t really have anything important to do here and that kinda sucks because I’m used to running around with aliens and a robot and a mutant and a witch and even though I’m not any of those things I like to think I’m useful in my own way.

Before I came here me and my friends kinda had this rule where you didn’t trust adults no matter what. But Molly liked all of you and if Molly likes someone then that usually means they’re good people who aren’t trying to destroy the world or harvest the organs of babies to create dog people or something.

Getting to my point now before I ramble myself to death. If you guys would let me I would totally join your team, because I’m not very good at being on my own and I just tend to get in trouble that way. I think I have a better chance at staying alive when there are other people around who can give me something to do.

If anyone so much as pulls Molly’s hair I’m gonna have to go all protective big brother on your ass. My mad skills will blind and intimidate you into nightmares and bed wetting and a whole bunch of other gross stuff that I might list later on when I have more time.

And OH MY GOD! I saw this purple demon last night and it SO looked exactly like Barney. I wanted to take a picture but then I discovered that I had no camera and before I could run into the store to get one, Old Lace was trying to eat Barney’s face off. It was epic. She totally kicked his ass.

And hey Kat? I have stuff I wanna show you later on. After I’m done feeding Molly ice cream.

Chase!! Ice cream. Now. Please?

Other kids with weird eyes make me hungry.

I suppose it's about time I come out of hiding. I've been rather..anti social lately. All things considered, It's unlike me. I am still here, have even uploaded a generic welcome website to the new city arrivals. [generic website address here] Per requested. Nothing fancy, just elegant and user friendly. Do's and Don'ts lists, fun activities, that sort of thing.

Remodeled the lab, it's pretty impressive. But I could use some help, An assistant. Admittedly I can't do everything by myself as easily as I thought. Anyone interested? No experience is necessary. The pay isn't amazing, but the reward is good in itself.

HEY! All you weird people who think you’re kids when you’re really just adults with pubic hair and receding hairlines and too much fat: STAY AWAY FROM MY DINOSAUR. This isn’t the petting zoo. She’s not a pony. She’s BIG and SCARY and she will EAT you if you touch her again.

WHAT IS THAT MATTER WITH YOU PEOPLE?!

You're OLD. Act like it! Holy wow adults are so weird.

I use to get to fly North and spend Christmas skiing and making snow forts, and trying to stay up late to see if I could catch Santa. And my mom would always make these Sugar Cookies, but she only let me have two because she said they were bad for me.

It makes me almost miss my parents. Almost.

I didn’t know LA had an online message board… thingy. I never thought you guys were that cool.

And just for the record I don’t have this thing were I leave my dinosaur iguana in the bushes while I walk into a library to use their computers but when I fell from… I don’t remember, some old dude was all telling me to umm… ask stuff on here. I don’t know what I’m supposed to be asking. I think I’m sorta maybe lost which is weird because I live here and stuff and I know the layout of the place like the back of my hand or however that goes. But I’m pretty sure I’m lost anyway and is this like an alternate dimension that I somehow ended up in by no fault of my own? That would be so uncool. And I would be so fired.

This is lame. Not the message board. That’s actually kinda awesome.