PARABOLICAL GRAFFITI

Man, someone needs to find me some ghosts. These vampires are getting boring.

You know what is awesome? Waking up in the morning, going outside and getting mugged by a man wanting to use your neck for a chew toy. Now that is the ultimate wake-up call. My sister should have just organized that for me every morning.
Has anybody seen any ghosts around lately? I'm really desperate for a good fight.

So, uh. My ghost senses went off earlier. That can't be good. Considering there wasn't a single ghost in sight.

So, like...what do y'all past folk people do for entertainment around here? I'm getting bored. Isn't this city supposed to have an eternal sparkle of glamor with something to do 'round every corner? 'Cause all I've come across is dudes in dire need of plastic surgery thinking it's a good idea to try and attack a Gundam Pilot guy like me. Which isn't.

And speaking of that...what is up with them turning to ash? I mean, killing isn't a new concept to me, but the whole exploding into dust at the end of the whole ordeal is a little strange. Like something out of a classic an Anne Rice novel.

which is retarded, 'cause vampires ain't real

Dumpster diving in a kilt is highly unrecommended

So . . . hi.

Anyone care to explain what the hell is going on?

Oh, wow, okay. When I woke up this morning I totally had no idea I'd be in LA! It's really not where I was headed but hey.. Free travel! Oh yeah! You know that I should actually be a little freaked out by this.. but you know what? I haven't sensed seen a single bad ghost evil teacher who is out to destroy my education around here since I've gotten here. This might just be a vacation. If only LA didn't look like Vlad threw up all over it. Seriously, who'd want to vacation here?