PARABOLICAL GRAFFITI

So.... those pits actually work. That's interesting. I'm working on a paper for high school. I figured this was a good a subject if any. My friend thought so. Anyway, he wants me to ask something. He's a bit messed up. He doesn't feel anything. He's like these vampires, see, in the way that they don't have souls either. Except my friend is human. He was born without one. And he has powers, but they're not his. He happens to be a warlock as well; the powers he has obtained are from demons he killed.

He's wondering, and I am too since he's me my best friend, what happens if he takes a dip? I'm We're a bit curious if he would actually have his soul given to him. I wonder what it would be like to be happy or sad. Since everyone else knows. And what about side effects? Any of those, like does he lose the powers? Or does he turn into some mush-brained lunatic and count the tiles in the floor? My pal needs to know.

I threw a vampire into one of those pits this morning. He came out all shiny and new, and surprisingly, he was also very alive. He tried to hit me with a stick afterwards, so I had to eat him, but even so, I learned what to stay away from today.

I want to fling one of the Cullen brats into one and then
Wouldn’t it be so
I love this place

Being possessed. How many of you out there think you can actually handle something like that?

[Ruby]
This is ridiculous.

[ooc: Blame Briege. She is an enabler. And this.]


It's going to be awfully hard to find a virgin in Los Angeles. Not to mention one who actually wants to be pregnant. Not that it matters what they want

Save me the trouble and list yourselves here.

Who in LA's a virgin?.

Just for refrence.

Only 17 more days until Capitalism Day! :D

Oh, and since some people can't seem to read between the lines.

I love that day! :D

ETA 2: And some people can't take a joke.

Well, I can honestly say that I'm happy now. Actually, I'm lying. I don't feel anything. My hair is all good. I don't have to wear a hat anymore. I just woke up today, looked in a mirror.. and oh my, it finally all evened out.

See, before.. it.. umm.. okay, short version? A long while back, like a month or so ago, I had trouble writing. Hurt to type. Still kinda feels weird, but not as bad now. Torture is never fun with me on the receiving end. In addition to all the other mess that happened, along with the wax and broke nails, my hair was cut. Not professionally, either. Pissed me off. Couldn't really do anything about it, though. Had to wear caps all the time. Bad nightmares.

Odd thing is, I went to the courthouse yesterday to file a restraining order against a few individuals, only to find out that they aren't here anymore. Like they just.. vanished. Or something. So! Now that I've healed considerably, is there any hot chicks out there that want to go out with a 16-year old? I promise to be nice...

This place is insanity!

Well by now you've all seen my former colleague's little announcement.

In case any of you didn't understand the implications of that, it means that I am now in charge of Wolfram and Hart.

Any questions or comments, please direct them to my assistant.

Wow. This city is really getting interesting right now. Too bad it's going to end soon. The Four Horseman.. really? Never saw that one coming. But what I have seen, are that demons are more open on the streets lately. Vampires too.

I think I did a favor to the good people by ending those things. Took care of a few. They won't hurt anyone again. Bright side, at least I got some gifts out of the deal. So.. simple question. How long do we have before all this goes "Boom"?

To anyone who is going out of their way to find out the identity of the Anti-Christ:

STOP IT!!!!

Seriously, folks. Have none of you even so much as seen a movie about this particular guy? People who find out tend to die. Painfully, in a bloody fashion usually, and before they can tell anyone else who he happens to be. So trying to figure out who he is? Isn't going to save this world. It might only make things worse.

As for the Anti-Christ himself... if he wants to get involved (and there's nothing to say he isn't already, let's all keep that in mind) I'm sure he's smart enough to know which side is doing what, and to pick where he wants to jump in. It's his call, his choice, and I'm guessing he's likely up to his neck in this stuff already what with the world ending and him not being able to rule it if that happens.

So let's everyone just keep focusing on other things, and not trying to find out information that'll get us killed even sooner than planned, okay?

{filtered to any healer types}
I'm heading to a place called The Sanctuary - it's a shelter for children. They have a few sick people there, so I'd like it if someone else went with me. Any takers?

We know something special. Ask us what it is and we might tell you. Antichrist is running around the city, playing with his toys. And we can give a name. We have his name. He tries to hide it but we know the truth. Ask us.

I've noticed a trend here lately. People randomly show up, and ask the same questions. "Where am I?" "Who are you?" "Where's so and so?" "Why am I here?" "Was that really a vampire/werewolf/demon/mutant I saw?" and "Where's the nearest strip club?"

Well folks, I, Vincent, have decided to write out a guide for all of the new folks here. I'm doing this out of the kindness of my heart, but donations would be welcome.

( guide for new people )

Is there anything I missed?

My name is Jennifer Thornton and I am a licensed psychologist with a Ph.D in clinical psychology from UCLA. I will be offering one hour therapy sessions Monday through Thursday between the hours of 1pm and 4pm.

Anything that takes place in the session is confidential unless it involves elder or child abuse, or the intent to commit a violent crime against another person.

I walked into K-Mart today. They had a deal on sports caps. Buy two, get one free. It's cool. Of course, I never really wore any, as I wasn't in to it, and never really needed to wear a hat before, so it's gonna take a bit of a while to actually be comfortable.. so.. err, right. Nevermind.

Just thought I'd mention the sale to other people. Since I am such a nice guy and all. This is my good deed for the day. I don't like wearing caps. But I have to. Especially since my haircut looks terrible. And no, I will not take off my hat if I see anyone in person, no matter how much money is offered. Not even for a million dollars. Umm.. don't ask.

I smell your sins.

They are delicious.

[ooc: Takes place after this thread. Strikethroughs are deleted and unsent]

iiiiiiinnnn helllllllpp dammmit.. typee ryte.. fuk

ok.. pencil steddy better...

inpain. brokke. help. cant typ long. mediccc. DANICA !%%%%!!!!

Umm... Nick? Joe? I seem to have run into a snag. Do you remember that fanfic you found? The one titled Naughty Boy? I checked. It's gone. The site administrators must have deleted it. Damn them.

What I'm wondering is.. would you have saved it on your computer before it vanished from the site? Or at least printed it out? I'd be grateful if you did. So I can read it. You know, for.. umm.. err, research purposes..

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4464084/1/Naughty_Boy

OH MY FREAK. WHAT THE FREAK?! WHO WROTE THAT? WHY DO PEOPLE WRITE THOSE THINGS?!

JOE DON'T READ IT. I WOULD NEVER DO THAT. TO YOU. TO ANYONE.

OH MY FREAKING CRAP. The words.. they've burned into the back of my mind. I can't GET RID OF THEM. I'm already having nightmares and I'm not even asleep. People were talking about this place a little while back, so I was curious. CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT, DON'T EVER BE CURIOUS EVER AGAIN.

Ohhh, Artie... guess what? I might be coming back for you in a bit. But not yet. I think I'll make you wait for it. I don't know if you heard this before, but.. well.. you look so adorable when you're in pain. It's so cute.

And there will be more. Trust me on that. I look forward to hearing you squeal like the little boy that you are. So, be afraid.. be very afraid. If you're nice, I'll try to make the next torture session quick. Then again, I could change my mind. You never know. Maybe if you say some cuss words.. I might let you off easy..

I love it when a good plan comes together.

{OOC: This is backdated to right after Cordelia's abduction a few days ago.}

So, Los Angeles... didja miss me?

Excuse me, sir. But I do believe that I have something you might be interested in studying. Trust me.

Gotta love it when people are open and honest with you. Except, you know, when they aren't.

{filtered to Angel Investigations}
If anyone needs anything, ask your Champion, since he seems to have all the answers. Because I? QUIT.

Good luck. Hope you manage to save the world, or whatever.
{/filter}

{filtered to Greg House}
I'm moving back into my apartment. You can either get your crap and get the hell out, or move yourself into one of the spare rooms. Choice is yours, but either way, I'll be there within the hour.
{/filter}

He won't let me go! I'm not even useful to him. I'm just a fourteen year old boy. A boring one, with some very exciting space travel stories. ..Help?

Ryan, so help me, Arthur had better be alive and well when I find you, because I will, and you can certain you're better off if I never see you again.

Think you could just take her from me like that? I'll fucking kill you all.

Well, that was fun in a way that kinda wasn't. All I can say is, boy howdy is it good to be back. Well that and, apparently, I managed to get a pretty good tan even while dead. So, go me!

Oh, and Davy Jones?

I told you so.