PARABOLICAL GRAFFITI

Loss.

I have felt something new.

Its cold, isn’t it?

It screams. I hear it.

I’m bad. We’re so untamed.

I feel sorry for the girl. We do.

We’re sorry.

She's just a girl.

... I'm back. And I am so, so sorry.

I never meant to hurt anyone, and I know I can't make up for it but I do want to try, if you'll let me.

Just please don't hate me.

Oh, sweetheart! I'm feeling limber tonight.

Ready to have your ass handed to you on a platter?

Willow, you fucking bint, I'm going to rip you to shreds the next time I run into you.

This guilt thing is kicking my ass. Anyone for a drink?

So this is the plan. I'm gonna go walk into a warehouse full of vampires. If you still care about me, you'll find a way to keep me from doing it. And if not, well. At least someone wins.

This is the STUPIDEST thing you have ever come up with, Harris.

You're awfully hard to get to, do you know that? Easy to find, but I can't for the life of me tempt myself to meet you.

Would any of you happen to have a crystal ball?

It's been a while but I'd like to try my hand at divination again. Even though doing it here might be rather pointless.

Edit: I got one!

God, I hate you all.

Isn't this situation just special.

Now look. I don't particularly know who is in charge here, but I better be getting two return tickets home pretty darn fast. I know, I know, how can I possibly turn down such an opportunity? I must be crazy! Well, given that I didn't go to school to be David Copperfield and I am, in fact, allergic to anything to do with Siegfried and Roy, this abrupt appearance here just isn't in my chosen bag of tricks or part of my daily routine. So, as much as I hate, just hate with all my heart, to be a poor sport, this really isn't going to work for me.

So. Take me to your leader. Beam me up Scotty. Whatever works for you.

All right. So like I've decided to put some real thought into this mystery. Is there anyone here who was like around when this weird stuff started happening with everyone coming in from all sorts of like timezones and fictional universes and stuff?

And if anyone happens to see a dog who like goes by the name of Scooby Doo, can you like tell him that his pal Shaggy is looking for him?

You'll never guess what I just did.

We're at odds with each other. I get it. Willow, you're evil. Kinda puts you out of the circle, I guess. But I still want to talk. You're still my best friend and I don't care if you're out flaying or -- okay, maybe I do, but I still care about you and you're still in my inner circle, so I'm going to write to you anyway and if you don't want to listen then that's your problem.

Anyway, I've decided that we have to rename ourselves because the Scooby Gang thing isn't going to work if the cartoon characters are just randomly popping up and making my life completely and entirely strange. Although I have to admit that meeting Scooby Doo - you know, the real Scooby Doo and not the guy who is only getting $6.00 an hour to dress up in a big costume and gulp down Scooby Snacks - would be pretty awesome. I don't think he's here though. Shaggy was looking for him, what with the phrase and all. Did I mention that all of this was weird? Because if I didn't, I'll say it again: this is weird. And you know what? One more time for good luck: this is really, really, really weird.

You know that pizza place on the corner? The one with the smelly cheese? Well, yeah. I think it's about time I stopped wandering around here like a depressed zombie and got out. If either of you want to come and brainstorm with me on the renaming thing, I'll be there. Just don't come and try to kill me, Will

If anyone knows a certain black-haired, black-eyed bitch with far too much magic under her control?

Tell her she didn't kill me enough.

What deception is this? There was a tremor in the Force, and now I find myself here.

I have much more pressing matters to attend to.

Gtreetings, peasants!

I'm looking for a girl, the fairest maiden in the world. Her name is Giselle, and she has hair the colour of the sun at dusk, and the sweetest smile you ever saw. We were to be wed, but I fear something dreadful happened to her, but I've come to find her! Has anybody seen her? I'm certain a reward of some sort could be arranged, once we are reunited.

Oh Angel... come out, come out, wherever you are.

Do you really think you can hide away in that hotel of yours forever? You're going to have to face me sooner or later, Champ.

Really now. Is there not a single one of you do-gooders that can pose an actual threat against me? This is becoming something of a bore...

A little old to be playing hide-and-go-seek, aren't we, Doctor? Over a thousand years old, the both of us, and we're still stuck in this cliché little routine of ours. So, let me get this straight, and- feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, but: you disappear, you come back, you disappear, you come back, again- sort of like a puppy. Am I right? Because, God, I have always wanted a puppy! Though, I will admit, I may just find them a bit more enjoyable when they're Doctor-shaped.

Oh- so sorry, I've done all this wittering away, and left all of you mindless little pawns in anticipation, haven't I?

I'll give you all a little hint as to just who I am, shall I? Starts with a "Lord" and ends with a "and Master Over All".

Oh! And, try your best not to frown, ickle Captain and crew, I'm quite sure you'll all get there someday.

Well, that was a complete waste of my time.

In regards to the two who instigated that little storm? I applaud you. The chaos was rather interesting to watch as it unfolded, not to mention amusing.

I honestly do not see what the big deal is over a little rain and wind. You people whine far too much. It's downright pathetic.

Words can not express how much that sucked.

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Well, that was certainly fun, gang. We'll have to do it again some time real soon.

Guess what? I’ve gotten my hands on a few very interesting books, and a snapping young gentlemen who just loves to tell me all about a topic that I find quite insightful. But, if any of you are wondering, the young man’s name is Logan, and when Logan isn’t screaming his lungs to shreds, he loves answering my questions and gawking as if he’s seen a ghost. Or a supposed fictional character is his favorite book series.

Wow… if I’m not completely insane already, I think that could change easily.

And if Logan doesn’t shut his mouth, I think that I might just have to put an end to him and find another personal helper…

Are any of you ‘Harry Potter’ fans up for that? Any of you feel like paying my basement a visit?

It will be fun... A once in a lifetime opportunity.

Something came out of the sink and managed to bite my hand before I could get away. Everyone needs to be careful, it's still out there somewhere. And now I get to go sit down so the room will stop spinning.

Oh, wait, I'm already sitting. Nifty...

So um...

Look I have no idea how to put this.

But that murderous, creepy, ...wizard calling himself Tom Riddle aka V...Vo...OH BLOODY HELL! Voldemort.

STAY AWAY FROM HIM!

He is the cause of the war in my world! He is the very definition of evil!

Thought you all ought to know. But I highly doubt any of you will listen. Gits.

This …device is rather pathetic, but still… convenient to me when it comes to getting out this short message.

Whoever found it entertaining to pick up their wand and send me into this disgusting place, which to my line of sight, seems to be completely overrun with Muggles, you will suffer the extreme and likely deadly consequences of your actions. Sure, you might be getting in a good laugh now, but rest assured, when I find my way back, I will rip out your tongue, gouge out your eyes, and make sure that you never get in a decent chuckle ever again.

Bloody hell, I would never set foot in this place on my own accord, not in a million years. I can already taste the fear. It's thick in the air, and unceasing. I have only been stuck here for little over seven hours, and already all I can hear is the constant whining. He did this and she did that. Now, we must all cry about it until somebody takes notice and offers us a hug.

It all makes me want to vomit.

This rain makes me want to write angsty poetry.

The hippogriff was sad
Because his Mum and Dad
Had gone to the fair
Without a care
For his unwashed hair
And so he glared
And went to the fair
To demand that the ticket bloke
Washed his hair
But not even the minimum waged ticked bloke
Would wash his hair
So he gave up and jumped off a bridge
And killed himself
Even though in reality he could have just gone
And bought himself some shampoo

Wow. That's legendary. I'm going to hang it on my wall.

Hello friends,

My name is Henry Gale. I'm new to LA and I see that this board is ideal for meeting people. I have to say all this darkness and rain is very... different. Does anybody know what's going on? I have to say, I'm looking forward to meeting each and every one of you.

Henry

Is this what death is then? It looks rather like where I was before. It's somewhat disconcerting to think that the afterlife is modelled in the image of Los Angeles. Unless, I'm not actually dead...which is equally unsettling.

Okay...this is going to sound a little weird, but I promise I'm not crazy. Um...did the afterlife get renovated or something? Because otherwise I'm not dead...and I'm kind of sure I was.

Hi there! I'm Willow. Willow Rosenberg. I was here before and had to leave for a while. I'm back now, though. Just in time for the monsoon season, it seems, too. I suppose I really shouldn't be surprised by now.

I hacked this world's pathetic excuse for a space program's network and got into their satellite systems. There's nothing wrong with this star, the "sun." The star's functioning fine. And there's nothing obstructing the light path from the star to this planet - not another planet, a ship, a moon, or even an asteroid.

Someone care to explain how this is plausible? science has failed me

So, like...what do y'all past folk people do for entertainment around here? I'm getting bored. Isn't this city supposed to have an eternal sparkle of glamor with something to do 'round every corner? 'Cause all I've come across is dudes in dire need of plastic surgery thinking it's a good idea to try and attack a Gundam Pilot guy like me. Which isn't.

And speaking of that...what is up with them turning to ash? I mean, killing isn't a new concept to me, but the whole exploding into dust at the end of the whole ordeal is a little strange. Like something out of a classic an Anne Rice novel.

which is retarded, 'cause vampires ain't real

OK, this is strange. Doors just don't randomly take you to LA. And since when did LA look this bad? And I didn't bring myself here, so this doesn't make sense.

And better yet, what's with this message boards? All this talk of vampires, demons, witches and robots. Since when do so many people know about these things? It's like a giant cult, and kind of weird. And with this being on the internet...so much for keeping secrets.

I still don't know how I got here. I doubt this is some kind of test from the Sisters, that doesn't add up. One minute I was in Magic School, and then I'm here.

I hope San Francisco doesn't look as bad as this place. So what's the background story on the weird and creepy going on around here?

I really can't handle this right now

I feel...others in the Force. Not Jedi sith or other Force-users per say, but...something. Someone. People who have...mind abilities, I suppose is the best way to describe it. And I sense that they feel me, too.

And what are these mobile suits I keep hearing mentions of?

When I heard that L.A. was in some dire straights, this wasn't exactly what I had in mind. What in the name of the Goddess herself happened to this place? It looks almost as bad as Sunnydale, except it isn't a giant crater in the ground. Which, I guess, is kinda good since people are still living here and it'd be really not so good if they were all dead because the place imploded.

Had an earthquake. That's what I meant. Because that is so what happened to Sunnydale. Big, giant, honking earthquake. Complete with the aftershocks and everything.

Oh! Introduction! Right. I'm Willow Rosenberg. And, I guess I'm new here. Well, not new new, on account of me having been to L.A. before a few times, but I'm new enough to make an introduction and, well, I guess that's it. It's nice to meet you all! In a completely computer sort of way, of course.