PARABOLICAL GRAFFITI

You know what? I really honestly hate this city. I miss the good old days when you could run stupid errands for criminals and then not have to worry about them bugging the hell out of you for the rest of eternity. I liked it when some evil idiot pretending to be God’s answer to the world’s suffering didn’t go around fucking with kids so that he can then act like he’s the victim. I feel really bad for you man, really, I do.

I thought my life was messed up before but I guess I didn’t know what I was talking about. So… since I’m stuck here, maybe for the rest of my life, I’m going to do what I want and if somebody doesn’t like it they can fuck off. Because frankly, I don’t care what they think.

So when I go to Hell, I’ll be sure to send postcards and if you’re lucky, a souvenir. Expect something.

Are there any doctors around?

I've returned from my mission. I tried contacting everyone on the communicators but only Oliver responded. Bart, Kara, Clark, please check in so that we know you are safe. I can see we have much to discuss.

I've really missed you all


(OOC: this is open to both Clarks, Terry, Max, and Barbara, since Diana programmed the filter long ago in case any of them showed up.)

I found this so that I could cheer up Mr. Winchester, but it was too funny not to share with you as well.

I feel like I should be offended, but as you say here, I'm "tickled pink" that a man dressed up as me for this...

I am not a fictional character.

I am not a fictional character.

Someone please tell me that I'm not a stupid fictional character.

And if so. What the fuck kind of obsession is WINCEST?

Who is this? I feel as if I know him...

And if I am right, I'm not going to like the answer.

I come offering a once in a lifetime opportunity. This unique, never again opportunity includes a very nice gem surrounded by gold trimming and a stone tablet with a genuine blood stain. These two items were once in possession of some Aztec ruler, who believed that the gem was given to him by some god named Mextli who liked sacrifices and other godly things. I’m not sure what’s so special about the tablet, but come on, it has blood on it and that’s cool.

Because this gem is supposed to hold magical powers I will not be taking this sale lightly. I want a good deal and I won’t accept anything below ten thousand for it, although money isn’t the only thing you can offer me. Be creative.

I’m not prejudice about who takes these things off my hands either. You want Mextli’s magical jewelry, raise your hand. For a limited time only you will also receive the famous tablet and three teeth from a Tyrannosaurus.

Once it's gone it's gone. Forever.

At first, I saw little reason to post here when there are people in need. After all, I used to be the Goddess of Truth, before I was returned to my mortality. Speaking with unvarnished honesty holds no fear over me.

But I see now that the truth brings so many people loathing and pain. This should never be the case. There are just as many positive truths to you all, embrace them. They are what help you defeat the darkness.

It is true this...effect causes one to speak all truths, and in that, I am no exception. After all, I know why I have such a hard time relating to those Justice Leaguers here. It is because I am one thousand and sixty-two years old, and I used to be surrounded by people who knew that. Now, I feel that those years have not granted me the wisdom to help those here.

If you are struggling, know this, and know that I cannot lie: I care about each and every one of you. Every life is precious to me. Don't fall to your fears.

Diana keeps calling me Oracle which is weird in itself, because the real Oracle is about ten times smarter and scarier than I am. Like, terrifying. Being compared to my idol is nice and all, but I'm not ever going to be as good as she is. I mean, I'm the girl who picked up a boom tube and got flung back in time. I'm not exactly front runner for genius of the year.

Also freaking me out? This whole telling the truth thing. I'm trying to code, but on my second monitor I've got this... I d'know, it's like a history lesson. It's all written out. I know I'm not supposed to tell anyone in the JL their futures, but I know it all.

This needs to fix itself.

Hey Hyperion people, I got the pizza for Peter from that Crosby place in New York and dropped it off. It’s in the kitchen. I was feeling generous and giving so I got five and stuck them on the counter. Make sure to share but let Peter have the most because he’s the one who wanted it in the first place and it might make him sad if somebody were to hog down all his pizza before he got to it.

Victor I made Kara go with me to the really big toy store and I got you a present. It’s a robot dog and it barks and walks around and everything. It also lights up in the dark. I saw it and thought of you. I’m not lying. I’m bringing it to you with the cupcakes. You will enjoy it.

Diana, Oliver, Kara, everybody else! Guess what? I was in MacArthur Park, like five minutes ago and this awesome turn of events happened. There was this tornado thing. I made it. I ran around in a circle and made a whirlwind, and the thing was frickin wicked. I didn’t know I could make those. I never did that before. I wanna do it again. Somebody should come see.

Um, Buffy, do you always do this in your free time?

[Filtered to the JL]
Diana, I met this woman in the craziest outfit the other day. She was dressed like a cat, all black, had a big attitude problem. She knew me as Supergirl, so I'm going to hope you know her. Who is she?
[/Filter]

[Filtered to Clark]
Are you sure you don't want me to try and help you fly? What's the worst that could happen? It's not like you'll get hurt.
[/Filter]

I wish there was a farm in LA. I need something more to do with my time to keep my occupied. This city is frustrating. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Diners and coffee shop jobs are out of the question, I've had my fill. I'll just pick up the farm from Smallville and bring it here. Piece of cake.

I love games. Famed for it, really. But that's another story, and my little brother is much better at stories than I am. In any case, here is HANGMAN!

( The theme is... )

Clark, Bart, Oliver, Maxine...Kara and I will be training tomorrow at noon in a clearing by Lake Hollywood Resevoir. You should come. It's closed to the public, since it's government land, so be careful entering.

I went to Greece, to Athens and Corinth and Arkadía. Nothing is the same as it used to be. The temples are all shadows of what they once were and the air isn’t as soothing, the ground feels different and when I went to see Mount Olympus, it was foreign, empty, upsetting. It’s still beautiful but it’s beauty is bland and no longer divine.

If Zeus were here he’d make them fix everything.

This world almost makes me long for my family, although I don’t think I’d like to see Hera again. She was a bitch. The Queen of Bitches.

I think I’ll go play with the vampires. One of you should come along, one of you who isn’t human, or maybe just not a fragile, regular human. If you’re normal and weak, I might break you. I don’t care, but you might.

I promised Kara I would train her, and I've found a place to do so. I wanted to throw that open to anyone else who wished to come. If we truly want to be a team, we should learn to fight as one.

It doesn't have to be just us. If there is someone with powers that could benefit, bring them as well. I know many at the Hyperion are with that group, Angel Investigations, but as they are allies and friends, there is no reason to not have them do this with us.

Just be aware, I'm not a kind teacher.

There is someone else you should meet. Her name is Maxine, and she has worked with Batman in the future. She's very computer-savvy, and could be a great help to us.

( New Security Measures - READ THIS )

He's here! He's really here!

It's a nice day, isn't it? Maybe your chipmunks want to meet my new friends in the closest park, Giselle. Mona and Doyle are a couple of hedgehogs I just purchased.

[Hyperion Hotel Residents & Lucifer]

My friend, Mr. Lux, is here. And we're going to work together, setting his... business. He's teaching me the ropes so I would help him back home. This is very important to me. So, um, don't worry if I return late to my room. I'll be alright. You know how to reach me, right?

I've been doing some googling...I probably shouldn't have...but I did. I blame Bart.

If someone could please explain the picture behind the cut, I will be extremely grateful...because I'm really confused.

( Picture )

I know who you are, so please do not try and deflect this.

What do you want in exchange for Miss Sullivan?

Really now. Is there not a single one of you do-gooders that can pose an actual threat against me? This is becoming something of a bore...

Woah. This thing is a Mac, and it's running on 2.6GHz. I feel like the world is running in slow motion. I mean, even the words appearing on the screen as I type them… they're coming up so slowly. I have no idea what's going on and I tried to find out, but I couldn't make the web browser move any faster. So I checked, and that's running at 54 Mbps. I'm pretty sure there're laws against the 'net running that slowly.

I've decided that I really don't like 2004 very much and I've been here less than twenty-four hours. I mean, come on now, there're wheels on the cars. Who does that anymore? I need to get back to Gotham City and I need to get back there yesterday.

I'm sorry, who uses Macs anymore? They were such a fad. And a bad one. This keyboard—

Right, I'm done. Does someone have a Boom Tube I can borrow? You can have it back in 19 years when I'm born. You're gonna have to come to New Jersey to get it though.

Help? I'm confused and my roots are growing out. Very un-shway.

[Filtered from Bad Guys]

So, a bunch of us are from comics and according to some crazy guy who I was just talking to, I wear red spandex in these comics and go by The Flash. Okay, I can see The Flash thing happening, but the spandex? Why the HELL would I ever wear spandex? Spandex is gay and I am totally not gay! Spandex is not only gay, but its not even fashionable in any way. Am I retarded in these comics? I can't see myself wearing this ugly costume if I'm not.

I'm so not changing into that spandex thing, so don't even think about inviting me to your mom's basement for a name change and a new wardrobe. It happened once and that was enough. Thank you.

[Private to Diana Prince]

Hey, where's Clark at now? Kara wants to see him and I want to drop by, but mostly, Kara wants to know.

[Private to Oliver Queen]

You should talk to Clark's cousin. She wants to join the team and that would be cool because she's awesome and stuff.

Well, this is unusual. Arriving in Los Angeles instead of Gotham when getting off of a plane? Stepping out and finding yourself in a random intersection? And most of all, losing several years?

All of this is just a little not normal.

What the heck is going on?

So, um...while we're in the theme of polling those on this board...who all here is technically royalty? Just out of curiosity.

Um...

Someone should tell me what's going on. Right now.

This might or might not be an odd question...but does anyone here know how to lift curses or reverse spells? It's really important.

It seems this message board is the main form of communication among the busier people in this city. Since I've exhausted all other avenues, I can't ignore this one.

Clark, Bruce, Kara, J'onn, Dinah, any of you...I haven't been able to contact you and I'm worried.