PARABOLICAL GRAFFITI

I hate vampires. They all think they’re so clever when they’re ‘sneaking up on you’ in the dark. They just think they’re so evil and bad and dangerous, but then they die so easily, like those annoying flies that you have to splatter against the window because they won’t stop buzzing around like they’re important.

I’ve turned so many of them to dust that I’ve officially lost count. Why do there have to be so many? Can’t they just realize that they should stop trying to eat people and go somewhere else?

I swear, they love following me around in dark alleys, so that they can gape and then die. Seriously, I’m not that amazing. There’s no need to stare. It’s rude.

So, I still haven't been able to come across anything useful, yet. The people here are just way beyond rude. Well most of them. Has anyone else come across anything interesting lately?

I'm...back.

And Spike...he's evil.

Can anyone offer any recommendations on hotels in this area?

Bloody hell….Ok what moron decided dropping me in the middle of the 21st century and in America no less?! Well at least there some pretty faces to keep me entertained but I demand answers! Or do I have to blast a few into kingdom come to get a response? Cause if you think I am joking …got my guns right here…Let try this again….why am I here?

Well this is interesting.

I appear to not be in Tokyo anymore. But the most important question is, where exactly am I? And how and why did I end up here?

Any help would be appreciated.

Greetings fellow residents of the wonderful Hyperion Hotel. I am Giselle. I think you will all find that this place is now spotless.

You can thank my friends the woodland creatures for this!

I hope you all have a wonderful day.

I must discover some way to contact my father on Alderaan. I miss him terribly, and I know he must be worried.

We're at odds with each other. I get it. Willow, you're evil. Kinda puts you out of the circle, I guess. But I still want to talk. You're still my best friend and I don't care if you're out flaying or -- okay, maybe I do, but I still care about you and you're still in my inner circle, so I'm going to write to you anyway and if you don't want to listen then that's your problem.

Anyway, I've decided that we have to rename ourselves because the Scooby Gang thing isn't going to work if the cartoon characters are just randomly popping up and making my life completely and entirely strange. Although I have to admit that meeting Scooby Doo - you know, the real Scooby Doo and not the guy who is only getting $6.00 an hour to dress up in a big costume and gulp down Scooby Snacks - would be pretty awesome. I don't think he's here though. Shaggy was looking for him, what with the phrase and all. Did I mention that all of this was weird? Because if I didn't, I'll say it again: this is weird. And you know what? One more time for good luck: this is really, really, really weird.

You know that pizza place on the corner? The one with the smelly cheese? Well, yeah. I think it's about time I stopped wandering around here like a depressed zombie and got out. If either of you want to come and brainstorm with me on the renaming thing, I'll be there. Just don't come and try to kill me, Will

Lavender, you've been very anti-stalker lately. I'm almost worried.

Yeah, definitely not in Neptune anymore.

Merlyn, you're a dead bitch.

I'm getting bored. Vampires are uncreative. You all combust from the inside out. Anyone in need of a sheriff?