PARABOLICAL GRAFFITI

Well, that was a complete waste of my time.

In regards to the two who instigated that little storm? I applaud you. The chaos was rather interesting to watch as it unfolded, not to mention amusing.

[Filtered from Bad Guys]

So, a bunch of us are from comics and according to some crazy guy who I was just talking to, I wear red spandex in these comics and go by The Flash. Okay, I can see The Flash thing happening, but the spandex? Why the HELL would I ever wear spandex? Spandex is gay and I am totally not gay! Spandex is not only gay, but its not even fashionable in any way. Am I retarded in these comics? I can't see myself wearing this ugly costume if I'm not.

I'm so not changing into that spandex thing, so don't even think about inviting me to your mom's basement for a name change and a new wardrobe. It happened once and that was enough. Thank you.

[Private to Diana Prince]

Hey, where's Clark at now? Kara wants to see him and I want to drop by, but mostly, Kara wants to know.

[Private to Oliver Queen]

You should talk to Clark's cousin. She wants to join the team and that would be cool because she's awesome and stuff.

Um...where is my dog?

Okay, I've kept my mouth shut up until now, but I can't wait anymore.

Has anyone seen Sam or Dean Winchester? It's kind of a pressing matter...

Just when I thought my life couldn't get any weirder, I end up here.

So, anyone want to tell me what is going on? And why there are people claiming to be Harry Potter characters here?

Um...

So does someone want to explain to me what I'm doing here? And maybe why I look so young? That would be good too.

Toto, I don't think we're in Cardiff anymore.

Not that it matters because this is brilliant! The rains is freezing, the wind isn't helping one ruddy bit, and I'd really like to know where the goddamn sun has buggered off to at 3 in the afternoon, but I don't think I've ever been so happy to be miserable in my whole life.

Yes. Life. Because, ladies and gentleman, Dr. Owen Harper is alive!

Living-breathing-eating-drinking-fucking alive!

Tosh? Ianto? Gwen? Jack? Hell, I'd be happy to see Rhys right now!

God. I'm dying (without any irony!) for a curry. Anyone know where there's an Indian takeout around here? Wherever here is.

Dear All,

In order to stop you people from breaking further into my home, I have decided to offer you with an antidote for your poisoned. Bring one of your wounded to MacArthur Park with one escort and I will do the rest on the condition you will leave me and my family alone.

Someone said they wanted to have sex with me...

What is that?

Is that like a kiss?

I highly disapprove of the way this state's governor--and this country's president, for that matter--is handling the numerous crisis situations occurring in this city. It seems History lied about the effectiveness of the United States' government, for they are doing a poor job thus far.

disappointing

Poor shell, she is so broken.

Peter? Claire?

Is...everyone okay? I feel like I've been asleep for a week.

A little old to be playing hide-and-go-seek, aren't we, Doctor? Over a thousand years old, the both of us, and we're still stuck in this cliché little routine of ours. So, let me get this straight, and- feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, but: you disappear, you come back, you disappear, you come back, again- sort of like a puppy. Am I right? Because, God, I have always wanted a puppy! Though, I will admit, I may just find them a bit more enjoyable when they're Doctor-shaped.

Oh- so sorry, I've done all this wittering away, and left all of you mindless little pawns in anticipation, haven't I?

I'll give you all a little hint as to just who I am, shall I? Starts with a "Lord" and ends with a "and Master Over All".

Oh! And, try your best not to frown, ickle Captain and crew, I'm quite sure you'll all get there someday.

Somebody killed one of my cats. The tiger, the white one, the one without the stripes… Whoever dared to do it, you should have been smarter. You should have gotten rid of the body before I came across it. That was stupid of you, stupid of you to leave her right where I would find her.

This is a warning to all of you: Keep your filthy hands away from my possessions, especially the living ones. There is no reason for anybody to harm the cats. They only do what I tell them to, and if you have a problem, you are welcome to come to me. If I find out who touched her, I’ll make you wish that you hadn’t. You’ll spend the rest of your days as a sewer rat, crawling around in the filth of the city.

Remember that.

Damien, where are you at? I wish to see you. You should come to the park. I’m bored.

[Private to Ivy]

Are you well, Ivy? Nobody is bothering you, are they? You don’t have any problems?

I will come and see you soon. I have things to give you.

Woah. This thing is a Mac, and it's running on 2.6GHz. I feel like the world is running in slow motion. I mean, even the words appearing on the screen as I type them… they're coming up so slowly. I have no idea what's going on and I tried to find out, but I couldn't make the web browser move any faster. So I checked, and that's running at 54 Mbps. I'm pretty sure there're laws against the 'net running that slowly.

I've decided that I really don't like 2004 very much and I've been here less than twenty-four hours. I mean, come on now, there're wheels on the cars. Who does that anymore? I need to get back to Gotham City and I need to get back there yesterday.

I'm sorry, who uses Macs anymore? They were such a fad. And a bad one. This keyboard—

Right, I'm done. Does someone have a Boom Tube I can borrow? You can have it back in 19 years when I'm born. You're gonna have to come to New Jersey to get it though.

Help? I'm confused and my roots are growing out. Very un-shway.

The Hyperion has been thawed and all of the snakes seem to be dead. If anyone needs me, I'll be sleeping for the rest of my life.

Oh! Veronica! I don't know if you realize it or not, but Backup is here at the hotel. I guess he got homesick? He's fine, so don't worry. Though he won't leave my side.


Oh yes. And nobody use the laundry room on the second floor. The pipes ruptured entirely. I think I've got the water flowing around the problem, so the rest of the hotel seems to be okay, but if someone who knows more about this plumbing stuff wants to check it out, it'd be appreciated.

Sorry...

Leo?

...

Phoebe? Paige?

Where is everyone?! And for that matter, where the hell am I?

This might sound completely morbid, actually it will sound completely morbid, but...

...is there a morgue around here?

I can't...

Something is wrong..

[Screened to Angel and Aubrey]
Angel? I have a small request to make. Okay, it's not exactly small by any means.

If you hadn't noticed, I'm not around right now. I've been with my friend, Aubrey. (Say hi, Aubrey)

I was wondering if he could come to stay with us at the Hyperion? He won't hurt anyone unless they hurt him first. Oh..um..did I mention that he's a two thousand year old vampire from my world? Yeaaah, I guess that would be kind of important..

Anyways, can he?

[Screened to Angel and Aubrey]

So how about that storm?