PARABOLICAL GRAFFITI

If anyone happens to have some spare dead vampire dust I'd love to run some tests on it. I would go collect some myself but my past encounters with vampires haven't gone so well.

You know what is awesome? Waking up in the morning, going outside and getting mugged by a man wanting to use your neck for a chew toy. Now that is the ultimate wake-up call. My sister should have just organized that for me every morning.
Has anybody seen any ghosts around lately? I'm really desperate for a good fight.

Anyone want to tell me why the sun hasn't risen yet?

If there is a sorcerer, or a warlock or a demon that tore me from my rightful place, only to shove me into this hellhole, then rest assure, I will hunt you down and have the last laugh. This is not humorous by any means. This is not a game. I have a child with me, and she is frightened and weeping and that is not acceptable. This is absurd. This place is… a wreck.

And this thing that sits in front of me is very unusual indeed. A very odd woman at this establishment told me that I can speak with people over this screen, and she told me that perhaps somebody here can be of help. I do think I am using it right… It is not like anything that I have ever seen before.

But, if somebody can give me answers, I will tell you now that I am the slayer, and that I will not put up with this. Somebody must know what is happening.