I've noticed a trend here lately. People randomly show up, and ask the same questions. "Where am I?" "Who are you?" "Where's so and so?" "Why am I here?" "Was that really a vampire/werewolf/demon/mutant I saw?" and "Where's the nearest strip club?"
Well folks, I, Vincent, have decided to write out a guide for all of the new folks here. I'm doing this out of the kindness of my heart, but donations would be welcome.
Q1: Where am I?
You're in Los Angeles, California circa 2005
Q2: Wait! How can it be 2005? It was (some other year) where I was.
A: Yes, stuff like this happens. I admit that I can't explain it, but surely somebody else can.
Q3: Hey now, this isn't the Los Angeles I remember.
A: This IS a different Los Angeles. Ever heard of parallel dimensions?
Q4: Why am I here?
A: There's a war going on, and you've been chosen!
Q5: HOLY SHIT! BUT, I CAN'T FIGHT!
A: There's no need to. Some of us here just like living the life.
Q6: So, how do I know what side I'm on?
A: If you're asking this, then you're obviously neutral.
Q7: Wait, did I really see a vampire/werewolf/supernatural/science fictional creature?
A: Yes, yes you did.
Q8: Okay, I think I understand. So I need money to live.
A: Whore yourself out. Beg for money. Get a job
Q9: How am I supposed to defend myself from these evil creatures? I don't have awesome powers!
A: I find the running around and flailing your arms works wonders. Also, always hide behind large boulders.
Q10: What about them yellow metal beasties?
A: These are called taxis, and for a fee they'll take you places.