PARABOLICAL GRAFFITI

I think something was holding me back before. Maybe we should hang out again sometime.

So, everything's back to normal by now right? No more weird versions running around?

I'm actually craving a normal patrol again.

[Filtered to AI/Allies- Filtered AGAINST Buffy's account]

It's as if the city wants to welcome me back.

So, I'm guessing Buffy was switched too, for a version who was never a Slayer. And this version has been captured by some vampire nutjob. Now, I don't know when Buffy's being brought back, but I'm not thinking we wait until then to get this sorted.

I want to find this other version and rescue her and then I want some beer. So let's get this done quickly.

Anyone any leads on where this asshole might be? He says he wants money and blood, but I'm thinking of offering a better trade. He wants a Slayer, he can damn well have one. I could use the workout.

ETA: Ok, arranged the trade, me for her. Only he wants me to bring 'Will' Buffy's boyfriend for me to kill to prove my word's good. Any volunteers to pretend to be Will? Obviously without the me actually killing them part.

Sure ain't hard to hack these is it? Now, you tell me cause I don't wanna go just on my thoughts here. Isn't this girl just the sweetest? Pretty little face. Pouty lips and such long hair. Couldn't imagine my gang's surprise when we managed to capture this bitch the other night. Been giving us problems all over town. Month back, she killed my sweetheart, Ginny. Imagine that? Murderous bitch, offing my darling just like that? We're not a fan of this Slayer and don't know much reason why not to feed on her and send you her corpse when we're done. Less we turn her. Always fun - no one ever does that. So, she got friends in this crapass town? What about this boyfriend, Will? Gonna hide away or man up?

Not sure what we want in exchange yet. What you got to offer? But my, my, is she a cryer. I thought she was supposed to be tough. Been whining since we got her. And for such a photogenic lil thing, she sure don't like her picture taken. She don't like chains either, huh? Been thinking of taking a go at her, since my romantic life been done ruined after Ginny died.

Well! You let us know if you want more proof we got your Slayer. She don't need all those fingers. Sorry bout those blood smudges. Things get messy over here.


- Gus

Now wasn't that fun for all the family.

Should I ask what you've all learned?

Um, okay so like - does someone want to tell me where I am? I went to bed in my very nice, NORMAL bed - with excellent thread count on my sheets btw, and then I woke up and like -- is this Kansas? I don't want to BE in Kansas. I never ever wanted to go to Kansas. Some girls wanna be Dorothy and that's cool because her shoes were really nice, but I don't do the pigtail and plaid thing.

Uh. Seriously. I don't mean to be freaking out here - BUT I AM. I'm supposed to meet my boyfriend, Will, tonight for a really fancy dinner and if I don't have at least three hours to get ready then the entire night is going to be ruined. I'm not trying to be dramatic but I have a serious timecrunch! I need the next bus out of this place and back to where the zip codes are nice. From there I'll call Daddy and he'll have to send a car or something. Oh God...do you think I was date raped and then brought here!? Roofied? Oh God, Oh God. This happens all the time in movies and 20/20! Omg. I need to take one of those pills! I CANNOT get pregnant - you don't look hot in a silk miniskirt by Dior if you're PREGNANT!

I just want to go home and I'm going to SUE the asses off of whoever did this to me. You'll pay!

xoxo,
Buffy Summers, resident of California, member of the Zeta Omega Zeta sorority, eldest daughter to Hank and Joyce Summers

[ooc: For her swap, Buffy was never chosen as a Slayer and stayed a bubblegum-chomping valley girl. Her parents stayed together, and got loaded. She did end up in Sunnydale - befriending Cordy and Harmony, mocking Xander Harris! Somehow, this life isn't at all any better!]

The owners of the Lux wanted to pass along that the club will be closed for the next couple of days. Few last minute renovations needed done. Important ones.

[Filtered to Lux staff]

Miss Gev also said everyone's off until further notice.

[Text to Mirta Gev]*
[ooc: Combined to not spam flist. Sometime after this conversation.]

You get e-mail on your phone?

Explain.

[ooc: meet the AU Cylon!Sam!]

Hey so,

People being lifted out of here and replaced by bitch versions? Is it better or worse for you guys here? How many is it of you now?

My adoring public wants to know? They're so scared they'll loose me. Its adoreable

Never realize how much it meant being able to go wherever you wanted whenever you wanted until you can't get past the city limits. For all the tight spots I've been in, slightly insulting too.

Anyone looking for a part timer?

[Nate]

Still working for you. Just need something else to occupy the free time.

Not much of a problem with being straightforward around here, is there?

[Filtered against all Slayers, Scoobies, and Souled Vampires]

So, what do you think about Heaven? Better yet, what do you know about Heaven? Do we 'in the know' of supernatural stuff have any concrete evidence? It's been mythbusted or whatever, yea?

So, somehow, it seems like myself and Mirta have become the new owners of the Lux due to the previous owners, ah, departing I think.

The rules of the place aren't changing. The Lux will remain a neutral, violence-free zone. And if the magical protections weren't enough to dissuade anyone from trying anything, remember my girlfriend is a Mandalorian. You'd only be embarrassing yourself.

Still, to commemorate our new ownership, tomorrow night, for one night only, drinks are on the house. So come on by, check the place out.

What part of ask before taking don't these damn higher powers get?

"Fortunately, I was supposed to look confused and disoriented because, God, I felt that way."


To say I'm confused and disoriented would be the least of my problems. Last night, when I woke up, I was not in this city. Now, I'm here again. I don't know what is going on, but I am going to find out. And when I do... Then I'll think of something else.

Where can I get a good drink?

You know, sometimes I look at the people and I think, why do we even bother? Sometimes it feels that no matter how much some of us do, it's never enough and people are always whining that we should do more. Not just put ourselves at risk to protect them, but cuddle them afterward. So it makes me start to think, do people ever stop to think are they worth being saved? Why do we keep doing it?

And then I remember. Because some people invent things like tequila. And tequila makes it all worth while.

I watched a sport where men ran around in tights and jumped all over each other the other day. Really stupid, it was.

This place ain't half bad once you get used to it.

Hell of a way to get rid of a couple of warrents parking tickets though.

Spike, when I said I'd patrol with you I didn't mean that I'd sit through an hour of you betting on kittens.

Sicko.

Question.

Vampire bite. Simple first aid job or bigger problem? Google gave answers both ways.

How was I supposed to know she had a pair of fangs on her?

I just love it when you morons do my job for me.

Greeks. Gifts. Timeless philosophy.

Where do you get decent pizza around here? The kind where the crust isn't hard enough to kill someone with it.

Hold up, wait a minute. Alright, so I get that these PTB want to bring us out of our times. And I can get my head around all this vampire and demon and comic characters stuff.

But making me have to start again on WoW, and with only the 2006 servers? That's just cruel my friends, damn cruel.

I only just got the 2008 expansion pack.

These goddamned message boards are more trouble than they're worth.

If there is any fighting in this post, so help me you will see sparks come out of your computer the second you reload the page.

I'd like to request a large group go down to respond to this. This is going to turn into a problem for all of us if we let it get out of hand, and I'd like to think that we can work together on this one. I need enough people for crowd control and Clown Search Detail. Note: The clown masks everyone is wearing? [Screen capture from video footage posted] Don't let them confuse you. There's only one clown and this is the sort of mayhem he might enjoy watching. It's complete chaos and that leads to anarchy and-- well, I've explained it before, haven't I?

Crowd control is going to take some hand to hand skill. As far as I can tell, these are humans plain and simple. They're armed to the nines, yes, but they shouldn't be too hard to disarm and knock to the side. But, as you can see, there are a lot of them, so yes, we need numbers. Quite honestly, I don't care how you disarm them because I'm asking for help that's not only from my people, I just want to know that it's being done and that the Joker is being searched for. Is that too much to ask?

One last thing: Please. Don't tell him we're coming. He knows we won't let this go unanswered, but come on, people. A little element of surprise, please?

That's all. Those of you who want to go Joker hunting, I'll have one of my people distribute commlinks if you need them, because we'll need to keep in contact.

[as Oracle]

Let's all fight about what's right! Because obviously, that helps.

Everyone has their reasons for what they believe in, and everyone's going to stick to those reasons. Obviously many people here are just never going to agree, that's the way life works. There's always going to be people who see things differently. It's called balance. There needs to be people who will kill, and there needs to be people who will find every way possible to not kill.

Shut up and deal with it.

[Isoble]
Speak to Ben Braeden again, and I will send you to hell. I'm good for that.

Oh hell no.

The concept of mundane is lost on this place. Boredom must be hard to come by.

The DC Universe is taking over.

Anyone heard of Leverage Consulting and Associates?