PARABOLICAL GRAFFITI

[Filtered against Lex and those who fall under the evil category]

I know Elle used to stay at the Hyperion and I thought that there must be at least one of you who cared about her enough to want to know that she’s hurt. She’s at the hospital and I’ve been sitting with her, but maybe there’s somebody who wants to come pay her a visit. It might cheer her up. I feel responsible for her being where she is, so I’m staying with her when I’m not out. She needs friends. Somebody must have been somewhat close to her. She couldn’t have been utterly alone before.

[End of filter]

Mr. Luthor, there was an accident and Elle’s at the hospital. She might not be around for a few days. I’m not certain how long it will be, but if you find yourself in need of anything you can call me and I’ll do my best to take care of whatever you wish to be taken care of. God, that was such a big lie.

Oops. I think I broke her.

Its cold, isn’t it?

It screams. I hear it.

I’m bad. We’re so untamed.

I feel sorry for the girl. We do.

We’re sorry.

She's just a girl.

Wow, We're not feeling very nice at all. Actually, we feel kind of like a bastard. Torturing a teenage girl in a locked room isn’t a friendly thing to do, is it?

Wait…

Don’t answer that.

We already know the correct way to responds to that one.

No. No it’s not.

Oh well.

If she ends up dead We're going to ask the boss if we can leave her head on somebody’s doorstep. Guess whose?

Hi, I'm Elle, and I'm new around here.

[Filtered Against Gwen]

I am in desperate need of a psychiatrist, an extra talented psychiatrist who I won’t accidentally eat in the middle of a session. Said psychiatrist must be able to stand up to fangs that can tear off a head, claws that might dig into a vital organ, and ridiculously dangerous mood swings that cannot be controlled. Experience with large, dangerous animals might come in handy but it is not required.

A cage could be useful but I can’t promise that I won’t find my way out of it. If any doctors around here know of any medication that has the amazing ability to suppress evil urges you need to speak up now. You will be rewarded handsomely.

Until somebody, by some stroke of luck, or it could be a miracle sent down from God, comes forth with useful insight, I will be sitting in Lex’s study. Alone. Staring at a wall. There’s a painting on it. Not the one I destroyed a few days ago. I think it’s of Alexander the Great. I don’t know. I didn’t study art. I feel like I’ve been inflicted with rabies.

I hate you Parker. This is all your fault.

[Private to Gwen]

I know I haven’t been around much lately and I apologize. I’m going to be staying at Lex’s place until I learn to control myself get some things done. I’ll be dropping by to check up on you. I won’t let you get hurt.

Vampires were supposed to be going into extinction. Looks like that's a different story here though.

I suggest raids. Find the nests, destroy them, and leave no one alive. That might help.

[Ruby + Dean]
I ran into a demon. That means that there are probably more running around here. Which also means that Lilith could be close by. I'm going to try to track another one down. Get some information. I accidentally killed the demon that I met before, so it'd be hard to ask him questions now. This knife is pretty awesome.

Question of the Day

Where the hell is Mr. Luthor? I did this nice thing for him and now I have a problem and it's urgent that I speak with him only I can't seem to find him and that's really getting me down.

Lex I have been in your study for two days now and I think that maybe you should notice that I'm here. I accidentally shredded your curtains but that's not really the problem that I'm having. I also ripped apart one of your paintings and that was an accident too, so don't think I'm ruining your things on purpose.

[Private to Hyperion Residents and Associates]

As you probably know, Chloe is at the mansion, courtesy of myself. Now, as stated above, I'm having a problem and if Lex fails to help me with this problem, you are all welcome to flood the doors and take the wife back with you. I'll politely stand back and not give you any problems whatsoever, just as long as you don't tell Luthor that I permitted it. I will make this very easy for you if I don't get what I want. Soon.

There's an awful lot of crime here.

Anybody feel up for a cliche kidnapping of a small child? I'll bring cookies!

I'm looking for an Eddie. Not much to go on, I know. But if you read this? Yea, I want to talk to you. If anyone knows where I can find him, please let me know.

[Private to the Phantom]
Chloe says you're trying to help her by Negotiating. Just what are you negotiating?
[/Private]

I want to kill something.

These...these vampires, as I've heard them be called, if one were to...kill one? Is the death of one punishable by the law?

Even if it was the fault entirely of the creature.

A curiosity to be satisfied.

One of the secretaries at Luthorcorp has puppies that she needs to get rid of, because her house isn’t big enough for ten dogs, which I can understand perfectly. Gwen, I think we should have a puppy. Do you want a puppy? I think you do. Puppies are small and adorable and we should take one from Brenda the secretary and then you can name it and we can have a puppy. So, do you want to go look at them? I think you should come with me so we can see them. The secretary says that we should take one. Maybe that isn’t such a bad idea?

Anyone else who wants a puppy should go see them too. Unless you’re evil and like to kill small animals when you have nothing better to do. If that’s the case, then I don’t think you should have a dog because maybe something bigger and more ferocious would be better for you?

So… umm, I’ll go back to making sure that nobody is trying to break into the mansion now and then I’ll be going home I guess.

But before I do that: Gwen, if somebody calls or knocks on the door or comes up to you outside, don’t listen to them. They don’t know what they’re talking about. I was at the apartment all last night and I wasn’t even out when you were sleeping.

[Private to Ivy]

I haven't seen you in a while. I need to come see you. Something terrible has happened.

...I don't think this is New York.

God, I hate you all.

Gwen, don’t go outside. Some idiot just left a huge mess outside of the door. I have no idea why they felt the impulsive urge to smear blood everywhere, but they did and now the lady next door is bitching because apparently she just swept the sidewalk yesterday and she said that she’s not doing it again. There’s somebody who has been ripped to pieces in a way that looks like it must have been extremely excruciating, but all she’s worried about is her precious sidewalk.

What’s wrong with the so called evil doers of this city? Is it a little too hard to clean up your messes? Did mommy used to do that for you? Well, that's too bad isn’t it? I guess you’re all going to have to learn to pick up your messes all on your own now. I know it sounds hard, but I also know that if you put your minds to it, you can manage it.

[Private to Integral]

Have you spoken to the souled vampire yet? I was curious and thought I’d ask.

[Private to Willow]

You were at the meeting. You interested me, I asked about you and somebody said that you were a witch, and a very powerful one at that. I have a slight problem and if you were willing to help me with it, I’d be in your dept.

What does a bloke have to do in order to have some fun around here? Who's up for a hunt? I hear there's a great bar downtown. We could kill everyone and then have drinks. Who's in?

I hate vampires. They all think they’re so clever when they’re ‘sneaking up on you’ in the dark. They just think they’re so evil and bad and dangerous, but then they die so easily, like those annoying flies that you have to splatter against the window because they won’t stop buzzing around like they’re important.

I’ve turned so many of them to dust that I’ve officially lost count. Why do there have to be so many? Can’t they just realize that they should stop trying to eat people and go somewhere else?

I swear, they love following me around in dark alleys, so that they can gape and then die. Seriously, I’m not that amazing. There’s no need to stare. It’s rude.

Okay, that storm was completely unexpected. I know this because there were no reports of incoming severe hurricanes. I was fortunate enough to have walked in the door sometime after it started.

I was safe. There's a "panic room" in my mansion, a secret room of reinforced titanium. Perfect for those times when Mother Nature decides that she doesn't like you. But.. I'm worried. First, Chloe gets kidnapped, and now someone else I care about is missing.

I didn't see Arthur anywhere. At all. I've searched high and low, every room, every hiding spot. Nowhere. Dammit, I knew I should have gotten those security cameras fixed. I hope he wasn't taken too. If anyone sees him, could you tell me if he's alright? That hurricane certainly is not the safest time to be outside, along with all the vampires and other monsters out there.

This is not New York City, how did I get here? Now I might be bad at science but since when can someone go to sleep in one place and wake up in another?

Dr. Connors is going to kill me if I’m late for class again…

Some green skinned bitch decided to bring her people-eating psycho plants into the city to interrupt me the other night. Needless to say, those plants are not longer in existence, and also, If I see you again, little girl with the skin condition I’m afraid that I might just have to go straight for your throat. I’ll snap your neck like a twig, and that there is no lie.

Seriously though, what kind of idiot just goes out and attacks people that they don’t know anything about? I could have been some super powerful higher being for all she knew. I could have been a crazed lunatic who eats people for the fun of it. I might have been a super vegetarian… You can never tell.

I like this city, but some people here are just plain weird. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by that, considering the things that I saw back in New York. But still, this place is overrun by freaks. I think there just might be one oddity for every normal person. And yes, I do include myself. I am not stupid enough to call myself normal.

EDIT: I'm happy now. Forgive that outburst.

I think I left a decapitated head on a park bench… If you happen to come across it, don’t touch it. It could be carrying some sort of disease, and God knows, I wouldn’t want some poor, unsuspecting person inflicting themselves with anything disgusting. Now that I think about it, maybe I should go back and get rid of it, throw it in a dumpster or something.

Yes, I think I’ll be considerate and do that in a few moments.

But while I’m still sitting here, does anyone happen to know why I was shoved into a Los Angeles that is currently going through a year that has already come and gone? Last time I checked, it was 2007 and I was in New York. And also dead.

But don’t for one second get me wrong. I really am relieved to be alive, even if I am now two years in the past. I can easily get over that.

Not that it isn't really great that people are finding others that they thought were lost forever and all...

but...I miss him.

How can all of these other people come back and Wesley is still dead and gone?

You know, it’s really sort of funny when I think about it… I’ve never hated somebody so much that I can do nothing but think of all the different fabulous ways that I could possibly consider killing that fucking job snatching, girlfriend stealing asshole by. I mean seriously… I could rip out his throat, rip out his lungs, tie him up and cut off his limbs in a slow, painful process, which would eventually end him, of course. Although, just leaving him immobile might be fun. I bet he wouldn’t be playing hero without a set of legs…

But anyway, I guess I should consider not ranting about all of my problems when this city obviously has a bunch of their own to worry about. It would seem to be raining nonstop and I can’t say that I particularly enjoy that, but I don’t know… I suppose that I can deal with it. It is better than being dead, after all.

I love being alive. But I do really need to find a job… I don’t suppose anyone around here needs an exceptionally talented photographer?

... Oh hey! I think I found five dollars under this chair. Too bad it’s not going to buy me a hotel room. Too bad, too bad. Not everyone can be shrouded in luck, or so I’ve been told.