PARABOLICAL GRAFFITI

I realize that things really suck right now, but I think we could all use a laugh. Here, have one.

The resemblance is uncanny, isn't it?

{{OOC: Pretend this is a YouTube vid, please! xD}}

Goodness. I know I ought to be less surprised... But as for why Wolfram & Hart wanted to send me to what is obviously some sort of alternate reality of Los Angeles, I'm stumped. What does this accomplish for them? It can only mean no good. Obviously. I wish I had a more astute observation, but I feel mildly disoriented right now. Makes one wish for some crisps and a nice brandy... of course, a clear head is in order right now.

If there are some familiar contacts out there, perhaps you could lend your knowledge to my baffled brain? Unless of course I'm dreaming this. In which case I suspect I'll wake up very cranky and unrested.

{Filtered against baddies and children}

{{Regarding this}}

Turn on the news, or any channel. Now.

Ever just have one of those really good days. Nothing giantly eventful happened, no epic battle of good and evil stuff, Just a good day?

"Alternate reality issues" is not an acceptable excuse to take time off. Go figure.

[Eve]

You probably already know what I'm going to ask.

Okay, given her memories I'm positive that this vampy Faith isn't the real Faith that we know and love from here.  Just to share with any who are concerned.

This Faith is pissing me off something wicked. Buttons are effectively PUSHED. I want to punch a wall. But then the wall would have a big damn hole in it. And that's...bad, right?

There's a world of difference between coming off like a spoiled brat who isn't top dog anymore and a competitive partner of equal standing who can and will keep you on your toes. Almost makes me miss having a decent rivalry.

Of course, by the standards of most places, any rivalry I'd find decent would be termed vicious and destructive. There really any other kind worth having?

First he throws up on me, then he squirms around so much that I'm almost positive that I've done something nasty to my back because he wouldn't let me pick him up and he crawls so damned fast. Oh, and we can't go out because he's had this bloody pig's snout for at least three days now. Merlin's beard, I'm just about dying here.

This is motherhood.

Has anyone figured out how to make a trans-dimensional phone call yet, by any chance?

Okay I know this is gonna sound weird and all. But even with all the bad in the world. Its awesome that two people can find each other again in spite of everything. That  all the hurt and badness can be made up for.

Learn to love, people!!!. Its the greatest thing in life...or, y'know, unlife, whatever.

Also, I've decided I need gal pals, for shopping and nights on the town. Fred you're totally auto invited, Anyone else?. I can even tell the cameras to stay at home.

Is anyone else hearing...feeling weird today?

No, no please no, you can't, we won't...I. I won't, I...

Just one of those days maybe, I think maybe I should walk it off, I'd enjoy that.

This isn't really happening is it. This is some surreal dream that I'm going to wake up from any moment now.

Right?

Wake up back in LA to find out the guy you betrayed your creators for got married to some failed actress Eva Peron wannabe in Vegas.

Lovely. Just lovely.

Anyway hello LA, You can call me Eve. Liason to the Senior Partners. Yes, they're still here, yes they're still a threat to you, I'm here to speak for them when they want it, don't try talking back, it usually bites someone in the ass, usually me. And I like my ass just as it is thanks.

Any Questions?

For the first time in thirty one years, I finally made the trip to Las Vegas. Still not sure it's as amazing as they say it is but the nightlife certainly is flashier than Los Angeles. Made two thousand on the card tables. I was up to three and a half at one point but a mind reader joined the game. Took me three hands to realize it. I'm getting rusty.

But the best part of that vacation has to be the gold ring around my finger that says I belong to a beautiful woman with the patience of a saint to put up with me.

There's a minister that will marry people as Sweet Transvestite from the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Damn, I want to hire him. Because whatever shit I've done in my lifetime, I can't beat a crossdressing priest.

L.A. fun fact:

Los Angeles has the largest number of women-owned businesses in the nation.

Isn't that interesting?

And another:

Los Angeles has more than 80 stage theaters and 300 museums, more than any other U.S. city.

Over 80 stage theaters and I can't get a job. Somehow? I feel oddly accomplished.

i wrk with liteweights. thnk 1 of em took my keys.

What part of ask before taking don't these damn higher powers get?

Has anyone seen Heather around?

I can't believe I'm even saying this but I actually sorta miss my sisters "cooking". If you can call it cooking. Most of her food looked fresh enough to get off the plate and start crawling away. But with a little "heat" it tasted almost like food at least compare to these t.v. dinner things I've been eating all last week.

...If she ever shows up here and someone tells her that? I'll deny it. I'll deny it forever.

[Filtered to the League]
So...can I see the bat cave or the...watch tower? or do we have meetings?..or something?

There is such a thing as oversleeping, but other than that, I feel just fine and I'm sorry if I worried any of you. My stint as Sleeping Beauty is up, thanks to Peter.

Where's the birthday cake?

[ooc: feel free to assume she personally contacted anyone close to her (in person or over the phone) as well as made this post!]

The past couple of days have been the most damaging in my life, certain moments aside. If the supernatural law was subject to human law, I'd cite violation of the eighth amendment, possibly the first. I can't dance. At all.

However, I might have the potential to be a rock god.

I've waited five hours in line, watching the girls just coming and going in dresses that look just like mine 'till my number is finally called. When I walk in the room? There's a table of men. Always men, usually gay...who've been sitting, like I have, and listening all day to two hundred girls belting as high as they can.

I am a good person. I'm an attractive person. I am a talented person.

...Grant me grace.

{{Ala Jason Robert Brown's The Last 5 Years, aka Cathy's canon. I HAD TO DO IT.}}

Scars heal
Glory fades
And all we're left with are the memories made
Pain hurts but only for a minute
Life is short
So go on and live it

[ooc: Chicks Dig It - Chris Cagle]

{Filtered from those with bad intentions}

Due to recent disappearances sadly, the Welcome Center could use a few extra hands, if anybody is interested.

You know what's unfair? Waking up feeling like you've got the worst hangover ever, and there isn't a drop of alcohol in your system.

[Filtered to friends/family/against Sam]
It's also unfair to find out that the most important part of your life so far has been one big lie.

[Tonks]
Thanks for the stuff you sent over. It helped.

{Filtered to friends}

St. Paddy's Day is coming up fast. I know there are always more important things begging for attention around here, but I was wondering if anybody else was in the celebratory mood? I mean, we're all here, together, and alive. I, for one, would be willing to take the opportunity and run with it.

Went through demons, vampires, and it's a human minion that gives me the black eye. At least I can make it look good.

[Filtered to friends, away from Cathy]

I need help. More or less someone willing to take a few hours and give an honest opinion.

Just for the record, whatever it is around here that has all the mystic and shamany types here going crazy, nothing to do with me or mine.

It's actually rather annoying, think you hero types can get it sorted so my lot can get back to some real work without my people having fits?

{Filtered from Baddies}

No less than eleven people notified me that there's something on my forehead today. Who wants to make me an 'I'm Catholic' sandwich board to wear around L.A.?

I recovered a hard drive because someone tried to delete it, saying it was taking up room his golf game needed. I shouldn't be surprised considering he calls the computer "newfangled" and thinks my name is Lynn but seriously. Aren't most people a little tech savvy enough now to know not to delete the damn hard drive?

I was told about you by that man, Dukat. He said you could help me.

I've done things, awful things, but I fell into those pits and now, Now I'm myself again for the first time in more than ten years.

I need somewhere to stay, I need...

I'm not even sure what I need. But as long as I'm myself I'd like to live life and give something back to the city and I can't do that on the streets.

Can we meet?

L.A. For Dummies

It's done! Hopefully this will save some of us some time and energy when it comes to retyping the history of this place every time someone new arrives. Lindsey, I hope you don't mind, but I felt that your spiel deserved to be immortalized.

I can't sleep anymore, it's too quiet and weird in the apartment alone, you think I'd be used to being alone, I only did it for over a year and a half every single day by myself but I guess I just got spoiled by having all these people around and now.... fucking LA

I couldn't sleep last night and I ended up watching a marathon of The Hills on MTV. At first I was ashamed, but then it pulled me in with it's never ending drama and sex tape shenanigans. I'm pretty sure it's pure evil.

( These are my kind of folk )

Too bad you probably couldn't try that in L.A. without getting attacked by some anti-musical supernatural being. Any volunteers out there?

Happy belated Valentine's Day to everyone. Peter, you're an absolute sweetheart, did you know that?

{Filtered against Lindsey}

This is probably a really stupid question, but bear with me. On which finger is a promise ring supposed to be worn?

These books should be a required read.

Okay, I'm not from Los Angeles. I've never seen a vampire, demons are a little outside my sphere of belief, I won't even get started on magic, and all the talk about God being here makes me want to gag. Thanks to staying at the LA Welcoming Center, I've been given the breakdown on just what exactly is going on here, and quite frankly, I'm still trying to decide if this isn't one big mass hallucination. Though that building-turned-tentacle...thing kind of...

I have a point. I may be nobody. Shit, from what I've seen around here, I want to stay nobody. But people are dying, and getting hurt, and I don't want to be one of them. I'm learning, and I'm seeing names that I recognize. Superman. Batman. Luke Skywalker. These are heroes. Then there are other names, ones that I don't know. Slayers. Champions. I see Petrelli get thrown around a lot. Cathy seems to know that one. (Or is it those ones?)

I see places. Wayne Industries, I know. The JLA, I've heard of. But Torchwood, Angel Investigations, Wolfram & Hart, the Weir? I don't know those ones. The gossip chain says heroes at Angel Investigations. The Hyperion Hotel. But they seem pretty busy. Busy saving people.

I'm a doctor. And I know there's a lot of people to save. I have to deal with anywhere between fifteen and thirty a shift before I started working for House anyway. I know you have to pick your battles.

But I don't want to die. I haven't A lot of people don't want to die. So... can we just... try and stop the ones that want to kill us all? Please? There's too many threats out the door right now, and I'm living. I'm staying inside and I'm living. But I'd like to go out and live.

I'm getting Faith back. Tonight.

No, Sam. You're not coming. If I'm not alone, they'll kill her.

[Nathan, ABClaire, Sarah, Kennedy, and Fred]
Be ready, just after sunset. I'm going to meet them, and teleport Faith back as soon as I get close enough to touch her. I don't expect her to be in very good condition, so Claire, please have a syringe ready.

Fred, from what I heard, it seems like they managed to take her Slayer powers away. Can you see what we have to do to fix that?

Kennedy. You are not, I repeat, you are not to go after them. Or, for that matter, out patrolling on your own. I need you. You're the only Slayer I can count on right now.

Someone told me not to look myself up on the Internet. It’s safe to say I didn’t listen. I assure you none of it is true I hope not anyways

What sick mind thought I would be best suited with Garak as a couple!? Damar I could understand.. but Garak!?