PARABOLICAL GRAFFITI

Did you ever work on something. One thing for ages and ages only to eventually work out its pointless and not what you thought it was in the first place. I think its a bloody hairdryer.

[Jack]

Are you purposefully trying to drive me mad now or can you just let me have it for an hour. I have some new theories and I just need want to see. Won't even so much as look at Gwen and you can even supervise?

Just an hour.

[Owen]

...Do you have the security codes, the ones Jack won't give me?

Captain's Log 5.01
ALIEN ACTIVITY: I'm thinking some of these headings need to be changed given just where we all landed. But, for the sake of continuity, they'll stay as they are for the time being. Should take to calling this place Torchwood 5. Still don't know where 4 went to either.

ALIEN TECHNOLOGY: I wish we could have figured out what was going on with those miracle pits before they up and disappeared. Seems that those who took a dip are slowly being returned to their original state from what I gather. As I always say: the quick-fix is never the answer.

RIFT ACTIVITY: Not sure if the lot of us arriving here is a result of the Rift or not. When in doubt, blame the Rift. Won't lie, though, I'm happy it dropped off Ianto and Gwen. All we need now is Tosh and the whole team is together once more.

SECURITY: With John around, am afraid that extra measures will need to be taken to keep the Hub secure. But, if that's what it takes, then that's what it takes. Don't really want him wandering around LA all on his lonesome. Even if he was the good wife.

OTHER SECURITY ISSUES: Require more information on this Dahlia woman. Though, all things considered, I'm glad she found me and not some hapless human. At least I could withstand whatever she was doing. Not sure if she succeeded or failed. Will have to look into this demon she was attempting to summon as I'm not sure if she succeeded or not. One too many points I passed out/was killed for my liking to know what was going on.

STAFF: Need to have a very, very long discussion with Suzie about 'when someone calls for help on the comms it means get your arse over there and get them out of trouble'. Think there may be a few issues being harboured. Hard to say, though, with her. Suzie -- when you see this, my office. Now.

OTHER STAFF ISSUES: None to report. Aside from the fact that I'm glad there are as many of us here as I have. Not quite thrilled that the Master is here, but he seems different. Will also have to keep an eye on that as well.


By the way, Ianto? Patrol at 20.00. I think you need a bit of work on your form where stake burying is concerned.

Alright Torchwood boys and girls we going to save Jack? Maybe form a plan? Or do I have to it myself?

Are you really here?

So, I'm wondering. Just how many of you people have stepped into the pits? And I need one of you to see side effects.

[Lavender]
I'm ready to show I can handle Firewhiskey if you are.

[Torchwood]
As Plan A is always a success, how goes that analysing of the Pits?

Let's get the facts straight, shall we?

-- The Lazarus Pits are completely natural. It's not chemical, it's not magical, it's not science. The news got that right at least. They're a natural phenomenon that occur in my universe, but they're usually centered in various areas around the Middle East rather than LA beaches.

-- Yes. They heal. Nifty fact: They bring people back from the dead. Unlike the pits themselves that is not natural. This is only the tip of the iceberg in terms of why I'm absolutely adamant that people need to stay away from these things. I can't explain the scientific process behind the how and why the Pits do these things, but it would be a lie for me to claim that they don't work. They do. I know a man who's two-thousand years old because of them. I know people who have had their abilities restored to perfection after a swim. I've seen people brought back from a week or two of death. They work very well.

-- Nifty fact number two: For those of you wondering about immortality? Stop it. Stop it right now. The side effects of one use of the Pits are temporary insanity and bouts of violence that can last anywhere from minutes to days, depending on how mentally sound and strong you already are. I know people who've had side effects that lasted for only minutes, but I've never met anyone else --here included-- as trained as they are and so there is almost a guarantee you will suffer. Continued use of the Pits will make these effects permanent. You will be immortal, yes, but insane. You will make the Joker look like a minor annoyance.

-- Ra's Al Ghul (the two thousand year old lunatic I mentioned) has control of most of the known Pits on earth in my own world and if he shows up we're all going to be in a world of trouble. This Talia woman is his daughter and both have led an organisation called the League of Assassins. This talk of cleansing? That's what the League does. They destroy societies they consider decadent and unworthy. Admittedly, there's usually more fire, sickness, and death involved. Where I'm from they set the plagues in Europe, they set fire to Rome in 64 AD, London in 1666, and Chicago in 1871. They were behind the stock market crash of 1929 and the French Revolution. Are you getting the idea? If you're not then you're obviously a lost cause. Associating with these people, or any thing that they promote is a bad idea. No, the Pits won't kill you (unless you're already healthy), they'll even heal you, but they're not connected to anything with a history worth praising.

I admit, I don't know why Talia is going about the cleansing this way. It's completely different from the League's normal MO, but that doesn't mean I trust her or that you should either.

-- I completely understand that I'm not going to sway everyone. You've all got your own minds, but most of the time you all seem fairly intelligent. I just want everyone to consider what I've said. Think about the history here. Think about the League Talia Al Ghul represents. Her first word here was cleansing not healing.

Just think about it hard before you make the decision to get in line. What you don't know, in this case, might hurt you.

Larger files are available for those who want them.

And that's as unbiased as I'm getting.
[posted as Oracle]

Well, well. This place just seems to get more and more interesting by the second. Is it always this exciting around here, or is it just a weekend?


Filtered to Torchwood

You saw the news, or at least you better have. Who's coming to take a look at these pits?

Hold up, wait a minute. Alright, so I get that these PTB want to bring us out of our times. And I can get my head around all this vampire and demon and comic characters stuff.

But making me have to start again on WoW, and with only the 2006 servers? That's just cruel my friends, damn cruel.

I only just got the 2008 expansion pack.

what the hell did I take last ni
Los Angeles? How the
if I miss another differential, House is going to

Alright. I don't know what the hell is wrong with the website for Continental, but why can't I book a flight for Newark? The dates keep saying it's 2006.

The human race is so flawed.

[Filtered to Torchwood :: Suzie, Owen, John Hart]
Alright. I think the rift is trying to tell me something. Or else, Torchwood decided it needed to be here for whatever reason. If you haven't seen the plaza and fountain, it's made its way here. Which means the city needs us.

No pressure and I'm not going to be administering the amnesia pills if you choose not to come. Though you all know your duty


[Filtered to John Hart]
Don't make me regret the offer, got it?


[Filtered to The (4th) Doctor]
One of your later incarnations knew of me and a team I had been associated in Cardiff known as Torchwood. I'm extending an invitation to you, should you wish to be a part of us. There's a small tourist info shack located at [address here]. You're welcome anytime, Doctor.

All right. I'll bite. Wouldn't mind knowing what exactly happened this last time and what's going on with the rift.

Century, please? Or, slightly more helpful, year?

supposed to be dead
jack...
definitely went into the dark

Bloody hell.

This is... This isn't right.

Being possessed. How many of you out there think you can actually handle something like that?

[Ruby]
This is ridiculous.

This is fucking ridiculous. Either I'm dead, or I'm alive. Make up your goddamn mind. I don't appreciate getting dragged out of and then back into the darkness. Once is more than e-fucking-nough.

What the hell?! Where the hell am I? Did the rift do this?
Jack? Gwen? Tosh? Teaboy?

Potter Puppet Pals?

I didn't know you could link these through words! Brilliant!

[backdated to 20th]

Is there any way to get people here that have died? Like, pull them here like other people have been? Any way at all?

I want my dad

It's official. Good guys make the worst bosses.

[ooc: Backdated to after "plans" for Cordelia's rescue have been made]

Another world! Awww, man.

Goofy? Donald? Where are you?

Well, isn't this just fucking brilliant? Goddammit, Gwen. If you don't answer your phone in the next ten minutes, I'm coming to track you down. Call me and tell me why it's giving me 'number no longer in use' messages. don't be gone, too. please don't be gone, too.

So who here could be considered 'supernatural?' Werewolf, vampire, demon...whatever.

And were you like that before you got here? Or did the change happen after you got here?

By show of hands, who here is a geek. Don't be shy, step up to the plate.

Need a few details to wrap up your paperwork.

What was that all about?!
Owen? Martha? Do you two have any idea what's going on here?

( images behind cut. )

Know anyone that has the capability to falsify documents? I've done it before, but I'm shit out of luck as far as having the resources to do it.

No matter how much you do, it's never enough. I'm sick of feeling like a failure because I can't save them all.

I will kill, with my bare hands, every man who has propositioned or hit on or looked at or offered anything to my wife.

EDITED: Except for the cripple. I'm just gonna drop him for real this time. From as high up as I can get in the air.

SPLIFF FOR SALE.

This is not funny, at all.

So, could someone please explain to me how or why the hell I’m not in my flat, or London atleast, and here instead? Because I really don’t remember getting on a plane or feel the after effects of a teleport and I’m guessing I’m not dead or in a coma..or am I?

..what’s going on?

Willow you are a slutty little bitch and I hope you die.

How's that for assholery, moron?

It's finished. All you have to do is pick it up. Name a time and place.

Susan has gone. Her TARDIS is missing, so I'm assuming it was intentional. At least when I abandoned her I said goodbye first! Please, come back for me.

So. Um. Anyone have any idea how disconcerting it is to be sharing a hotel room with two people and a dog and to wake up with only the dog there? And how even more disconcerting it is to do everything possible to contact said two individuals and find that it is like they never existed.

...Gwen? Jack? We're apparently sans Tosh and Ianto now.

Hate this. All of it. They keep looking at me like I'm broken and I hate it. They want it fixed, but I don't know what needs to be fixed. It's hard to remember what it used to be like and it hurts to try and think about it and it gets so loud sometimes. I know I disappoint them. They pity me. I know they do. And I don't want to hate them for that. But I think part of me does.

I just want it over. No more. I don't want to die, except maybe I do, I just want it all gone. I feel like I'm just going to start screaming sometimes and not stop. Maybe it would be easier if he just came back. I didn't think so much. Owen's going to hate me for saying that.

Gone, gone, gone.

He left me with the drums, but they'll go away soon too. They won't stay without him.

Too quiet...I'll go mad without anything to distract me from thinking.

He said it was always. Always his.

So much lies. Gone now. And only the drums remain.

It's better now. The constant drumming. My poor Master. Nobody understood how alone it made him. Now he's not alone. He has me. He needs me. My Master was right. I just needed time to adjust. It's a nice rhythm...reminiscent of Ravel's Boléro. Really quite soothing if I don't dwell on it too much. Something in the background too keep it from getting too quiet.

It's hard to remember what life was like before my Master. I think it's better that way. I'm where I'm supposed to be now. I'm where I'm needed.

What is it with so many of you pretending to be super heroes?

If you're so super than why are we all stuck here? If you were real super heroes you would have gotten us all out of here by now!