PARABOLICAL GRAFFITI

OMG Someone is STALKING ME!!! Like really...I keep getting these WAY creepy letters and that is so...

They're totally gonna want to cut me up like that guy wanted to with Cordy that one time...and make some kind of...eww.

Spikey you have to help me! You owe me!

So, I told my managers everything you all said, and they explained why it was dumb and you were all wrong and that Sol-a-whatsit Slayer was way out of line in trying to stake me and Andy Dick wasn't even really that upset by the biting and everything so its all okay and you can stop with the death threats now okay?

And now they're talking about me releasing a single. Its gonna be awesome. I'm totally okay with forgiving you all over the meanness.

[Spike]

Can we meet up for angry breakup sex a drink, I know we're broken up and all but you're the only one I can talk to and everyone else hates me and you wouldn't hurt me unless I asked you to and please??

I'm not a bad person you know.

I mean, okay evil. But that doesn't make me bad. And I've been using my show to help real people, people the Slayers totally ignore.

And what do I get in return, insulted, hounded by the paparatzzi, A boyfriend who...

...who obvioulsy doesn't love me.

I think its over blondie bear. You and me. It has to be

The future thing is a total lie by the way. Like he'd have a kid with HER.

I mean it doesn't even make any SENSE. People should see that, people having kids that entirely never would even if they could.

And there are people saying my show is evil again. My show is NOT evil.

Not that I don't love a good round of vague creepiness or appreciate how funny it is when Eve gets shut down (and sweetie, have you noticed? It happens a lot), but I'm tired of staring at these boards. Who's up for dinner?

{Lindsey}
You. Did you know there's another you walking around?

{Angel}
How ya holdin' up, Big Guy?

[Filtered AGAINST extreme bad guys]
this filter allows those on the slightly more dubious side as long as they don't directly work for the Senior Partners.]

Picked the wrong time to give up smoking

I just found something disturbing on patrol. I'm throwing this as open as realistic because I want maximum answers.

I found the remains of some dead vamps. Not so weird right? I also found a bar who had been slaughtered, a bar of half breeds known for being non violent. Bad but again not so weird. But there's the thing. The vampires had been tied down to burn in the sun, left a word on the grass 'Purity'. Same word was written in the demons blood.

Undeniably evil vamps. Harmless half breed. Two extremes, but the same word showing up. Anyone got any ideas?

[filtered to SAM WINCHESTER and RUBY]

Dead bar. You know I've got to ask.

[filtered to SAM only]

I'm sorry, you know I've gotta ask.

Best thing about being a vampire.

You can go for like...ever without breathing. Its pretty damn awesome!!

I'm so not even tired Spikey

Hey, so...LA Vampires.

I wanna do a show about us, the different kinds of us. Like the Broody Irish one, cause LA needed a new one of those. And Spike obviously, and that ugly gross one in the Hyperion and...well who else do we have? Radio boy?

The good, the bad, the morally indigenous? Come on people!

Well, isn't this shiny and new?

Hello, 2006. You're...kinda a let down, not gonna lie.

I finally finished my Holy Water Paintball Gun. It's not exactly a weapon so much as a distraction device but I thought it could be like the supernatural version of pepper spray. With festive dyes added to ruin and tag as well as cause discomfort, like bright pink, orange, purple. I think there was some neon green in there too. And yellow!

Actually, a taser would probably still be handier and not look like a gun but not nearly as colorful.

[Filtered to females]

Does anyone have any good cookie recipe suggestions?

Last night, I met up with a couple of guys who were in town for the day, playing a show at one of the local bars. Used to be a stand-in in their band when one of the guys couldn't make it, broke law school student earning some extra cash beyond rent.

You know how strange it is to sit and talk with people who are completely oblivious to the supernatural existing? I don't mean the stupid kind in this city either, the ones that blatently ignore the apocalypses, shifting dimensions, and big bads. I mean the ones that don't really know otherwise, thinking that evil lawfirms are the punchline to a joke, demons are psycho exes, and the war between Good and Evil is fending off a hangover the next morning.

Nice little break but I think I'd rather know what goes on when the sun goes down.

Sure ain't hard to hack these is it? Now, you tell me cause I don't wanna go just on my thoughts here. Isn't this girl just the sweetest? Pretty little face. Pouty lips and such long hair. Couldn't imagine my gang's surprise when we managed to capture this bitch the other night. Been giving us problems all over town. Month back, she killed my sweetheart, Ginny. Imagine that? Murderous bitch, offing my darling just like that? We're not a fan of this Slayer and don't know much reason why not to feed on her and send you her corpse when we're done. Less we turn her. Always fun - no one ever does that. So, she got friends in this crapass town? What about this boyfriend, Will? Gonna hide away or man up?

Not sure what we want in exchange yet. What you got to offer? But my, my, is she a cryer. I thought she was supposed to be tough. Been whining since we got her. And for such a photogenic lil thing, she sure don't like her picture taken. She don't like chains either, huh? Been thinking of taking a go at her, since my romantic life been done ruined after Ginny died.

Well! You let us know if you want more proof we got your Slayer. She don't need all those fingers. Sorry bout those blood smudges. Things get messy over here.


- Gus

So it seems that I'm stuck here. And I came up with a plan. It was a good plan and it involved minions. But I went to this bar that some guy recommended and it was all burned up. There was some massacre inside and I wasn't part of it.

I don't like this. I should be in charge of all slaughters.

And do you know how much the stink of burned bar lingers? It's gonna take me forever to get that stench outta my hair. Good thing I'm immortal.

[Sam]

So, miss me yet leannán?

Hey so,

People being lifted out of here and replaced by bitch versions? Is it better or worse for you guys here? How many is it of you now?

My adoring public wants to know? They're so scared they'll loose me. Its adoreable

Ok, I've been here for hours and I haven't figured it out yet. Very funny, well done. Some snack told me that this board is the place to talk so here it is.

Where is Angelus? Start telling me or I start the body count.

Come on baby, I'm getting bored. Come find me?

My producers think we should have a werewolf debate on the show? Faith, do you want to speak for them and Mr tall dark and broodier than even Angel on a bad day can be all ranty about how they're bad?

Me, I mostly just think they're gross. They smell, especially when it rains, ew wet dog.

All right, all right, all right. I knew this was bound to happen at some point or another.

I know. You're angry. And it's okay. I'd be pissed off too. But, c'mon, face up to it. You can't win. We're the winners. GHOSTFACERS. Remember the name. Remember. 'Cause we're coming, creatures of the night. Teleporting me to L.A.? It's totally not gonna stop me from kicking your ass. I'm more determined now.

Oh, and FYI? Don't zap me in when I have my laptop all geared up. It only gives me time to spread the news about your existence through my awesome videos of awesome. Now everyone is going to know how to destroy you and there's nothing that you can do to stop it. Way to suck, Casper.

( ATTENTION ALL CIVILIANS. )

Does anyone know where I can find a ceramic unicorn?

[Filtered to Allies]
I hate you all.

I've seen the light. I've changed. I'm nothing without you. Take me back. Please.

The things I do for you, Slayer

Slayers Suck. They suck, they just do. I mean there I was, all amazing just being Harmony cause I got to tell you, after all the sex with Marcus and the end of the world and LA going hellbound and all I did pretty damn well for myself, got a newer better gang, then betrayed them, got a job for a while with the best refrence from Angel and then...sortofmighthavebitacelebrity... got discovered!, my self confidance is totally back and I know now that my last boyfriend was entirely just using me because he couldn't accept he was all wrong and Slayer wanting and stuff, Ew. So anyway I'm just minding my own vampiric business and being fabulous at a party and this little bitch tries to stake me, STAKE me!. Mean!

So we fought and she died. Cause much as SOMEONE used to brag about it, killing a Slayer is way not hard. Not that I did it for kicks or anything but she tried to kill me! and okay so her blood was frigging awesome and the total best ever so maybe he was right about that but thats not the point

I just wanna have a normal fabulously famous life. Whats so wrong with that!

So all in all. Slayers.

They suck. And are Lame.