PARABOLICAL GRAFFITI

I fell asleep at work earlier and when I woke up to another woman tapping me on the shoulder, I flipped out, thinking she had a camera.

Six years down the road and I'm pretty sure the camera scares me more than the gun. It's probably not helping that I have to see him every day.

[Bruce and Zinda]
You want to do Joker checks for me for a few days? Thanks. Please, please don't take this as a 'request'.

I love school supplies. Honestly, the choices are endless.

I've waited five hours in line, watching the girls just coming and going in dresses that look just like mine 'till my number is finally called. When I walk in the room? There's a table of men. Always men, usually gay...who've been sitting, like I have, and listening all day to two hundred girls belting as high as they can.

I am a good person. I'm an attractive person. I am a talented person.

...Grant me grace.

{{Ala Jason Robert Brown's The Last 5 Years, aka Cathy's canon. I HAD TO DO IT.}}

Phantom limb is the feeling that an amputated limb or organ is still attached to the body and can move along with other body parts. Phantom pain is different and occurs usually in those born without limbs or who've been paralysed. Both are caused by neurological cross wiring in the somatosensory cortex and can be treated with antidepressants, but that can be risky and really has to be on a candidate to candidate basis.

It's an odd sensation.

{Filtered from those with bad intentions}

Due to recent disappearances sadly, the Welcome Center could use a few extra hands, if anybody is interested.

Taking the dogs, going out. Be back whenever. Dana's here, bringing her back to the manor until I figure out what to do.

My boots have teeth marks in them. And drool. My favorite boots.

Someone restrain the dogs or I am going to lock them outside. Or sell them.

I never signed up for this many people. I won't be someone I'm n

I cannot describe how much this is not okay.

I think I have a cracked rib

[ooc: as Cassandra]

If this doesn't fit the bill for SNAFU, I don't know what does.

Two questions:

What in Sam Hill just happened to me, and where can I get a stiff drink?

There goes my week. And my lunch.

Normally, if anyone is going to be ill in one of my classes, it's the kids. It's no surprise, given the viruses they come in with from home and the complete lack of hand washing, tissue using, and mouth covering. I don't go over two weeks without someone in the younger classes going home sick after throwing up in the bathrooms during flu season.

Today completely skewed my average.

The Joker thought it would be... funny to send dead puppies to my classroom. Among other things The few kids who saw had to go home after crying for a good thirty minutes ending in dry heaves and I can't say I blame them. I managed to wait until they were gone to be ill myself. It wouldn't have gotten to me, but well... it's not the kind of thing you actually expect at work. Happy birthday, right?

Normally I wouldn't mention this here, but just in case anyone hadn't figured out how sick he was? There you go. I've never done anything to him aside from being my father's daughter. I get sent to an entirely different universe and he's still here, terrorising me. I'm not the police commissioner; I'm not my father. I'm just a librarian and a second grade substitute teacher, yet here we are. I'm a wheelchair and there were dead beagles in my classroom.

[as Babs]

[Bruce and Helena]
Dead beagle puppies, a Batgirl costume, and a joke handbook to being Batman. The latter two were labelled from you and Terry, Bruce. His sense of humour hasn't changed at all.

Don't mention it to the kids.

[Joker]
There are better and easier ways to get our attention. Rest assured, you have it. I hope you're prepared for the consequences.

The kids are out of the house for the first time in what seems like ages and I'm all alone. What's a girl to do?

Cook, of course. I am determined to have a good week. I will have a normal birthday. I will not spend this entire week missing Dick.

[As Babs]

Ugh just one more day of freedom left until school starts. Well..theoretical freedom anyway. At least I don't have to worry about uniforms I guess. why me

This may sound ridiculously mundane in a city like this, but here it is: My team has a temporary holding facility and as soon as I finish about thirty of the final run-throughs, it's going to be open for use to the rest of the vigilante (or whatever you prefer to call yourselves) population of the city. Unfortunately not everything here can be turned to dust or sent back to hell, and --surprise, surprise-- the humans we catch are relatively breakout savy. Gotta love our luck and how it follows us from 'verse to 'verse.

Let's not even go into the legality of this, alright?

[as oracle]

[Bat-Family]
March 3rd, Bruce's penthouse, 6:30pm. We're having dinner.

Terry, you're starting school on Monday and Helena, there's an opening at his school teaching if you want it. I can have fake papers done up by Sunday.

[Helena]
And it would please me immensely if you wanted to take it and keep an eye on the kid during the day.

You noticed, he's using the name Nightwing now?

I'm going out on patrol tonight. Anyone feel up to joining me?

Talia Al Ghul is gone. She disappeared from our holding this morning along with her property, servants too, as far as I can tell. One has to wonder why they waited to get rid of her until after she tried to burn down the city.

Mysterious ways and all that, I guess.

[as Oracle]

[Filtered to Helena]
I got you a new toy. A fast new toy.

[JLA]
I made an impulsive real-estate purchase yesterday. I'm affectionately calling it Arkham Jr., but we're going to have some work to do.

Sorry about the meeting..I guess I wasn't as ready for this as I thought.

filter]

[Babs and Bruce]
Any chance on me getting out any time soon? feels worse than prison

[/filter]

Shopping List
-- Lead (4 DWT)
-- Concrete (6 DWT)
-- Steel (4 DWT)
-- New Brita filters
-- Warehouses #15-18, Central Ave
-- Yamaha YZF-R6S
-- Peanut butter and jelly
-- Rye Bread
-- Risk/Threat/Vulnerability assessment
-- Wiegand Wire
-- Cameras
-- Pumpkin Spice coffee
-- Biometrics system
-- New servers (SIGINT data storage)
-- MiFare tech


Pre-birthday spending splurges used to be a lot less work related.

[ooc: as Oracle]

...

There's a pile of a few things I own where the Lang mansion use to be.

I'm sorry.

I'll be in space.

[Filtered to Hyperion residents and JLA members]
I think we have a problem.

And this is me, not saying I told you so. I'd keep an eye out for smoke, if I were you, and if you know anyone who actually used the damn things, keep one eye on them as well and warn them. Just in case.

[Peter Petrelli]
In between losing my mind over teenagers and Talia, I got the flowers and chocolate. Thanks, I mean it.

Los Angeles. 2006.

Someone better start explaining.

[ OOC: Posted as Helena. Oh, and pissed off Helena is pissed off. What else is new? ]

[JLA]

In case you haven't heard, we need to have a meeting. It's become more than necessary and by my count we haven't had one since before Diana vanished from the city. So we're going to meet, regroup, talk, and organise and then I really don't want to have this much to do with it ever again.

Wednesday night at ten. Make room in your calendars.

[Bat-family]

And we are going to have a normal family dinner. I'm much more schedule flexible on this, but I think it should happen. I just think we should sit down like a family, at least once in between dealing with the crazy.

I'll cook. And I volunteer the tower, unless Bruce wants to treat us to the high life at the penthouse-- yes Terry, you'd be allowed out for this. What night?

[Bruce]

I'm going to need you to bring kryptonite in a lead lined box to the meeting. Just in case our two MIA Kryptonians actually decide to show up.

ETA: Talk to Terry about this meeting? I'm not sure he wants to go and I don't know if you want him there. Personally, I think we all need to be on the same page, but I'm willing to defer to parental rights here.

I hate teenagers.

Normally I swear by meditation, but right now? Even that's failing me. I'm angry. I'm angry and I never get this angry over little things.

I actually want to throw something.

[posted as Barbara]

[Raya]

I'm not sure what to think of Zod's post. I guess the pits really do change people. It's a little confusing. But.. I have a question about something else. Are you okay? Are you normal? No urge to.. rob ATMs, drink beer, buy a million music CDs, drive a Harley or wear all black? I think there's something wrong with Kara and the older Clark. I have a hunch about it, and if I'm right.. well.. it's not good. I'm not sure they're acting like themselves.

[Batman]

Congrats on bringing Terry back. Let's hope he stays put now I was wondering, could we meet? Any time is fine, if you aren't busy. I have a couple theories about Kara and the other me. And.. would you happen to have any green kryptonite?

[JLA]

Should we be worried about the person in charge of those pits? Seems that things aren't going according to her intentions where they are concerned. Makes me wonder what the alternative is that might be going down. And I got a feeling it doesn't involve hugs, pie, and kittens.

This isn't an immediate request or a binding one, because God knows we all have our own problems right now and they're not going to just vanish into thin air. It's a strictly information grabbing inquest.

I have a team member, the younger Batman, who's going to be in need of sparring and/or practice once he's off punishment. Those of you who can read this are the best in the city that I'm fairly sure I can trust. I'm sure I don't have to explain that when it comes to fighting styles, variety is the spice of life. It's all good and well if he can spar against me or one of my team mates and come out victorious, but where that might have been fine where we're from, it's not here.

There are a variety of reasons why, but the point comes down to, I'm asking for potential help. I want him to see what a fight against someone not born and bread in Gotham is like, and I want him to get better. It seems like most of you can fight hand to hand, and it seems like most of you can take a sparring session. Like I said, this isn't binding or immediate (as he's grounded right now and, yes, we all have many more immediate problems), but I'd like to know if there's interest.

I'd owe you one in return, obviously. And whether that amounts to any sparring or training you'd like yourselves, information later down the road, or something else, that's fine.

The moral of all this? Don't ever rely solely on technology. Yes, even I can say that.

[Bruce and Cassandra]
Cass, I know you offered, and I'm still going to take you up on that once Terry's better, but like I said, he needs variety. I'm worried that he'd been relying on that suit too much, and I know that he needs to work on that wonderful teenaged-boy hot headed quality he's got so much of.

He reminds me of Jason. A lot. And not just because the Joker keeps saying it. I'll keep the promise I made him of handing over one of Nightwing's old suits, but not until he's passed anything and everything I can think of to pit him against. The skill's there and so is the talent. There's no denying he's good, but I almost think that all the gizmos in that suit made it too easy. This will be good for him, if I can get the help.

[Terry]
How are you doing?



[ooc: Posted as Oracle. Mostly just looking for fun future interactions!]

If anyone happens to see a teenager running around in one of my spare suits, that would be someone who is now in trouble and can expect to be locked up in his room for the rest of his life.

And Batman Junior? If you’re reading this? Get the hell back where you’re supposed to be before I come looking for you.

[As Batman]

You people are just so touchy and sensitive. And he was right, you whine. If you don't want the harsh truth, stop posting pathetic messages about how your life is falling apart. Nobody cares.

I think I've just wasted that last few years of my life putting up with this bullshit. My mother is right. I'll take my own advice.

Time for something more interesting.

I can't decide which software program came from Hell first: Microsoft Outlook, Access, or Excel.

{Filtered to Family/Friends/People looking for Mary and Claire}

If I can be of any help, please let me know.

For those of you who don't know me, I'm Cathy Hyatt, and I'm in charge of the new Welcome Center here in the city. For those of you who don't know where you are or why you're here, please pay close attention.

The Welcome Center is, primarily, a place for newcomers to go upon arrival in the city. For the new residents of L.A., it is a safe environment to find answers to the many, many inevitable questions ("Why am I here?" "Why is it 2006?" "Was that a vampire?", to name a few). Also, I (and any help that I have) would be more than happy to put you into contact with other people whom might be able to be of service to you. The Center is, I stress, neutral ground. Regardless of which 'side' you choose, I promise that you'll find a roof over your head until permanent arrangements can be made, and more than likely, a hot meal or two as well.

However, access to the Welcome Center is not restricted to those who have only just arrived. But, let me make it very clear that I will not offer aid when it comes to the conflict in this city. I, and the Welcome Center, are here for the people in this city. Should any of you find yourself in a rough spot, please don't hesitate to give me a call.

The Welcome Center is located at {{address}}, and the phone number for the Center's landline is {{number}}. I can be reached at chyatt@lawc.org.

Oh! And if anyone is interested in helping out at the Center, please let me know. I can use as many hands around here as I can get.

{Filtered to Isis Residents}

I've been in contact with Lana Lang regarding the shut down of the Isis Apartments, and I have promised her to help those of you who need it in locating new places of residence. And, of course, anyone who needs a place to stay in the meantime is more than welcome at the Center. Please don't hesitate to comment here or contact me regarding this-- I really do want to help. If are planning to come stay at the Welcome Center, all I ask is that you let me know ahead of time so that I can get things ready.

For what it's worth, I'm sorry to hear that all of you are being displaced, but I'm going to do what I can to make the transition as easy as possible.

I guess getting along is just too much to ask for these days. Why do I even bother?

[posted as Babs]

Back to my famous hypotheticals.

If one were to, injure their hand or something simple, and submerge themselves in the Pits every few years. Would it stave off death indefinitely?.

And its said it restores the dead to life? Is there any point at which something is too dead? Could you throw cavemen bones in and get yourself a caveman.We even have a perodactyl it could make friends with

Let's get the facts straight, shall we?

-- The Lazarus Pits are completely natural. It's not chemical, it's not magical, it's not science. The news got that right at least. They're a natural phenomenon that occur in my universe, but they're usually centered in various areas around the Middle East rather than LA beaches.

-- Yes. They heal. Nifty fact: They bring people back from the dead. Unlike the pits themselves that is not natural. This is only the tip of the iceberg in terms of why I'm absolutely adamant that people need to stay away from these things. I can't explain the scientific process behind the how and why the Pits do these things, but it would be a lie for me to claim that they don't work. They do. I know a man who's two-thousand years old because of them. I know people who have had their abilities restored to perfection after a swim. I've seen people brought back from a week or two of death. They work very well.

-- Nifty fact number two: For those of you wondering about immortality? Stop it. Stop it right now. The side effects of one use of the Pits are temporary insanity and bouts of violence that can last anywhere from minutes to days, depending on how mentally sound and strong you already are. I know people who've had side effects that lasted for only minutes, but I've never met anyone else --here included-- as trained as they are and so there is almost a guarantee you will suffer. Continued use of the Pits will make these effects permanent. You will be immortal, yes, but insane. You will make the Joker look like a minor annoyance.

-- Ra's Al Ghul (the two thousand year old lunatic I mentioned) has control of most of the known Pits on earth in my own world and if he shows up we're all going to be in a world of trouble. This Talia woman is his daughter and both have led an organisation called the League of Assassins. This talk of cleansing? That's what the League does. They destroy societies they consider decadent and unworthy. Admittedly, there's usually more fire, sickness, and death involved. Where I'm from they set the plagues in Europe, they set fire to Rome in 64 AD, London in 1666, and Chicago in 1871. They were behind the stock market crash of 1929 and the French Revolution. Are you getting the idea? If you're not then you're obviously a lost cause. Associating with these people, or any thing that they promote is a bad idea. No, the Pits won't kill you (unless you're already healthy), they'll even heal you, but they're not connected to anything with a history worth praising.

I admit, I don't know why Talia is going about the cleansing this way. It's completely different from the League's normal MO, but that doesn't mean I trust her or that you should either.

-- I completely understand that I'm not going to sway everyone. You've all got your own minds, but most of the time you all seem fairly intelligent. I just want everyone to consider what I've said. Think about the history here. Think about the League Talia Al Ghul represents. Her first word here was cleansing not healing.

Just think about it hard before you make the decision to get in line. What you don't know, in this case, might hurt you.

Larger files are available for those who want them.

And that's as unbiased as I'm getting.
[posted as Oracle]

Sometimes we're meant to be as we are. Miracle cures, Lazarus Pits... they're not right. I was shot through the spine twice by the Joker. I'm paralysed from the waist down, something that completely altered my lifestyle. I've had access to the Pits for years through connections of my own, but I choose not to use them.

It's not right. Just... don't. Don't validate Ra's' Talia's purposes here. The side effects are temporary, but it's just not worth it and they can be dangerous. If you knew Ra's Al Ghul you'd understand why. Just, please trust me on this one.

Stay away from those things.


[Posted as Babs]

( The opinions herein are the belief of one person. Under no circumstances are they meant to be forced on others, be considered right, or taken as insult to any parties involved, as much as I would have enjoyed it... )

I guess the Joker wasn't enough.

[JLA Filter]
We'll stay concentrated on the Joker and Terry for now, but this...

Just keep an eye out.

[Bruce]
We need to talk. Again. And hope she's not hiding another child...

[All posted as Oracle]

AMAZE YOUR FRIENDS!



YOU TOO CAN BE THE CAPED CRUSADER!

COMPLETELY AUTHENTIC!
BLOODSTAINS ARE AUTHENTIC AND ADD TO THE COLLECTIBLE VALUE OF THIS LIMITED TIME OFFER

Terry McGinnis is missing and Batman suspects the Joker's behind it.

I hardly have to explain the urgency that comes with this and I really would like to avoid explaining Jason Todd again and we need as much attention put on this as possible. It's bad enough the Joker's had him this long.

Spread this to anyone you can trust. We need the eyes. I don't care so much about finding the Joker as I do about finding Terry.

[ooc: late post is late.]

These goddamned message boards are more trouble than they're worth.

If there is any fighting in this post, so help me you will see sparks come out of your computer the second you reload the page.

I'd like to request a large group go down to respond to this. This is going to turn into a problem for all of us if we let it get out of hand, and I'd like to think that we can work together on this one. I need enough people for crowd control and Clown Search Detail. Note: The clown masks everyone is wearing? [Screen capture from video footage posted] Don't let them confuse you. There's only one clown and this is the sort of mayhem he might enjoy watching. It's complete chaos and that leads to anarchy and-- well, I've explained it before, haven't I?

Crowd control is going to take some hand to hand skill. As far as I can tell, these are humans plain and simple. They're armed to the nines, yes, but they shouldn't be too hard to disarm and knock to the side. But, as you can see, there are a lot of them, so yes, we need numbers. Quite honestly, I don't care how you disarm them because I'm asking for help that's not only from my people, I just want to know that it's being done and that the Joker is being searched for. Is that too much to ask?

One last thing: Please. Don't tell him we're coming. He knows we won't let this go unanswered, but come on, people. A little element of surprise, please?

That's all. Those of you who want to go Joker hunting, I'll have one of my people distribute commlinks if you need them, because we'll need to keep in contact.

[as Oracle]

Let's all fight about what's right! Because obviously, that helps.

Everyone has their reasons for what they believe in, and everyone's going to stick to those reasons. Obviously many people here are just never going to agree, that's the way life works. There's always going to be people who see things differently. It's called balance. There needs to be people who will kill, and there needs to be people who will find every way possible to not kill.

Shut up and deal with it.

[Isoble]
Speak to Ben Braeden again, and I will send you to hell. I'm good for that.

I've been watching night and infra-red vision recordings for about forty-eight hours now. Still no sign of the clown and I think my eyes are about ready to shrivel up and fall out.

Been thinking about a trap to lure him out, but that never ends well and without Arkham after checking all of the usual places I'm at a loss of what a home base would be. Most likely he's not using one...

[As Oracle]

[Bruce and Terry]
"A visit to the Brentwood School reveals students who are engaged in their studies and investing themselves in the life of the school through participating in athletics, performing arts, and a multitude of interesting extra-curricular activities. It is immediately apparent that Brentwood School students are devoted to their school. The sense of community at Brentwood is also palpable. Parents are deeply committed to the school and give generously of their time and resources."

No uniforms involved, but gee, Bruce, this sounds wonderful. Don't you think so, Terry? This is the only fun or distraction I've had all week.

[Kara]
How're you doing? Obviously I saw what happened last night. Focus, alright? And remember it's okay to step away from the computer, even if some of us don't. Your loyalty's one of your strengths, but it looks like it's one of theirs too. It's to be expected when it comes to family... anyone's family.

1 hour and 40 minutes. That's a sticky pancake. Yeah guy with the pancakes you tempted me. Wayne? Don't go in the kitchen right now. unless you want a pancake on your head I made pancakes. Or rather, the ceiling had pancakes.


Edit: something else I just thought about. Theirs always specials on pancakes, but none on waffles. I wonder if the ceiling trick works as good with them.

HeY, lOs AnGeLes! LeTS PlaY A lIttlE gAMe. yoU kNOw hoW iT GOeS!


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H I C K O R Y   D I C K O R Y   D O C K

T H E   M O U S E   R A N   U P   T H E   C L O C K

T H E   C L O C K   S T R U C K   O N E

A N D   I S I S   E X P L O D E D

Of course, the stick figure I'll be drawing is just a representation of Frank here. Frank will be our hanged man tonight. I tried to find Jason but, well gee, I already killed him, didn't I? Anyone seen my crowbar?

[edited after game]
BRANIAC WINS!

So, how much can you believe what you read?