PARABOLICAL GRAFFITI

louis weasley! this isnt funny so stop your games and return me home right away.

how does this thing work

oKAY. Aha. Shift makes the letters capitalize. That's good. Thank you, lady standing behind me. That was very helpful.

I, ah, was told to use this strange device in the event that I might need a little assistance with my situation. Which I do.

So. Can you help me, strange box?

As terrific as that little stint with that old guy's artifacts was, I'm bored again. Naturally I would find something for myself to do, but I don't know where anything is so I'm going to have to do the unthinkable.
Yes, I, Dominique Weasley, the resident bitch of the Weasley family am asking for help. Be my tour guide, whatever you want to call yourself.
I just want to have some fun. Also, if you're older than thirty I'm going to have to say bugger off. I've never been big on old guys.

I'm not usually one to admit this type of thing.
But Christ, I've never felt so alone in my life.

Harry Potter.

It’s so nice to know that you’re here and well. I hope you enjoy the city while you still have the chance. You and I, we’ll see one another soon I suppose. Bring your friends along if you’d like. The more the merrier. We’ll see how many of them I can kill before I get my hands on you. It will be an unforgettable time. I’m sure of that, just as I’m sure of the fact that you won’t be able to stay away.

And here's a small warning: You might want to keep those brats of yours close. Who knows what they could get into. Los Angeles is a dangerous place.

[Private to Damien]

I gave you something and now I want something in return. I know that, being who you are, you won’t find this all that difficult.

As you might have read, Potter is now among us. Although I personally have done nothing to him, he’ll find it necessary to try to get rid of me. If and when he shows his face, I might be in need of your assistance, especially if he doesn’t come alone.

You know what I like? I like Quidditch. I like food, and family. I'm a big fan of the Great Halls ceiling. I'm a fan of hexes, and the Harpies. I also like the colours red, brown and green. I like the smell of my mothers cooking, and the Burrow. Shell Cottage is good too. Know what else I like? My boyfriend/future husband who is apparenty around here somewhere and yet I, personally, haven't heard from him at all (did he reply to you Ron?), and I can't take the suspense anymore. Harry, you may be from a different time than me but if I don't hear something from you soon, you are so dead.

My roots were showing and, apparently, here you have to dye your hair by hand. I think I got more on and in the sink than I actually did in my hair, and I'm pretty sure the hotel's cleaning staff is about ready to kill me. It's not my fault I don't have any cash to tip with! Paper money's kind of ridiculous.

I should probably try and get out of this room while they're still working on the sink. This much evil eye can not be good for the soul.

Don't suppose anyone's seen a good looking seventeen year old named Terry? Can't blame a girl for trying.

Man, this blows.

I realize I scolded people for whining so much, but if anyone wants to have a little harmless fun.. Hit me up, yeah?

Unless you're from Gryffindor, because honestly I'm so prejudiced towards that particular house and I just can't meet up with you.

MAIL ORDER BRIDE:
Order your very own Dominique Weasley today! You can be married right away because it's extremely classy AND she's half price because her own family doesn't want her anymore due to her ruining the Weasley name.
Special offer! Don't miss out on this once in a life time opportunity.
Because it is just such an opportunity.

Why the fuck is there a movie thing called Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone? Did someone completely forget to tell me something? Because I found out, you know. Google helped me a lot on that.

Bloody hell! About time!

I don't believe it. The sun just finally rose, and I think the rain may even be stopping...

Bloody hell….Ok what moron decided dropping me in the middle of the 21st century and in America no less?! Well at least there some pretty faces to keep me entertained but I demand answers! Or do I have to blast a few into kingdom come to get a response? Cause if you think I am joking …got my guns right here…Let try this again….why am I here?

So..

Am I the only one who has noticed vampire's protective thing? Specifically my vampire. He also makes a good pillow..

And..well, that is all.

And you lot all thought I complained and had a bad attitude.
Some of you should listen to yourselves. Free holiday, yeah? Make the most of it. I know I am.

Rose and Hugo, how the hell do you put up living with them in the same house, sharing the same room? It's enough to drive a person mad. I really hope I don't turn out to be like that with Harry. I'm giving everyone permission to hex my future self if we ever get back home if I am. And only if I am.

Anyway, those moving stairs? Yeah, those are really brilliant. But kind of lazy. And no where near as fun as the kind that move back at Hogwarts.

What I wouldn't give for a game of Quidditch right now. I was looking on this computer-thing. Did you know muggles invented their own kind of Quidditch based off ours? It looks like the most boring thing ever.

Hey Hermione, I think I need some girl time. Want to see if we can find a decent cup of tea anywhere in this city?

Ow. My nose.

Pathetic humans.

Ryan, if this is some sort of joke I swear you'll never perform in another musical again! Let alone sing another song in public! The only place you'll be singing is the SHOWER mister! And that gigantic hat collection of yours? I'll burn it!

Somebody better tell me where I am! And why there is no sun here. And why it smells so bad and is raining.

This place is worse than where ever Miss Oh-So-Annoyingly-Perfect Gabriella lives!

My future son plays for THE BEST QUIDDITCH TEAM IN THE LEAGUE.

That's right. Be jealous.

So. LA. I didn't think the international quidditch matches were for another few weeks. But this is clearly some sort of...hotel room. If you call this a hotel, rundown roach trap that it looks like. I knew Dorkins was a cheap bastard, but Merlin, this is just ridiculous.

Gudgeon? Jenkins? Gorgovitch? I swear to god, if this is some sort of haze the rookie prank, you're each going to get a hex between the eyes.

Gtreetings, peasants!

I'm looking for a girl, the fairest maiden in the world. Her name is Giselle, and she has hair the colour of the sun at dusk, and the sweetest smile you ever saw. We were to be wed, but I fear something dreadful happened to her, but I've come to find her! Has anybody seen her? I'm certain a reward of some sort could be arranged, once we are reunited.

So, this is one bloody confusing situation and I don't know about you but I am all for figuring this out. Where is everyone exactly? We should pick somewhere for us all to go and figure it out from there.

This is five shades of awful. Who the bloody hell did this? If it was you, Scorpius I am going to hex you so fast that you won't remember the alphabet. It is completely uncalled for to do this during N.E.W.T.s. In fact, forget the hexing, I'll blow up your entire dormitory.

Hi, I'm Dominique Weasley and I'm very confused.