Ladies and Gentlemen, May I have your attention please? Do you wake every morning in shame and despair to discover you're alone with no partner there? Life's just so unfair. Well, ladies and gentlemen, from now on you can waken at ease! You need never again have a worry or care, I will show you a specimen of male quite rare!
Gentlemen, you are about to see someone who might soon be dead...
...inside of my head!
Come one, come all to Zatanna Zatara's first come first serve
All American Man Auction!
On the block today: One tall, dark, and handsome mortal male plucked straight from the recesses of a genuine Los Angeles dive! He likes: vodka, jukeboxes, lame pick up lines, Santana, singing Black Magic Woman to random women in bars who very obviously aren't interested, attempting to get them to dance with them
Okay, I might have danced back, but completely against my will, and then grabbing their asses when they refuse.
He dislikes [and these are just my guesses from his reactions!]: Spikes, komodo dragons, blindfolds, and hanging upside down over lizards by his big toes, so ladies and gentlemen if you're into bondage? This is not the gentleman for you!
Biding starts at ten dollars! Help
rescue make this fellow's night!
Hey, men of Los Angeles? Stop grabbing my ass.
[ooc: *coughs innocently*]![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
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contemplative