PARABOLICAL GRAFFITI

I would like for someone to explain to me, please, how it is that I got led from Forks all the way to Los Angeles. And, furthermore, how, somewhere along the line, I managed to miss the fact that the trail I was following was headed east...not south. And, in addition to this, how I managed to miss that Bella has been missing for a few weeks.

So now my job is to find Bella and... Has anyone seen a girl about five feet or so...walking disaster, gets in a lot of trouble? She's a monster magnet? Goes by Bella?