In light of the recent tragedy, I have opted to make arrangements for those of you who have been displaced by the recent fire.
I have purchased an apartment building. 5 floors, twenty apartments per floor. Rates shall be reasonable, as determined by a private
negotiation assessment of your financial standings. Rooms are currently furnished, eash has a private bathroom, yadda yadda yadda.
I doubt there is a better offer on the table.
If you have need of a place to live, let me know, and I'm certain we can reach an agreement.