PARABOLICAL GRAFFITI

I'm sure most of you have heard that Lex Luthor is suffering from post-traumatic amnesia. He's lost at least five years of memories. I didn't get a very good look at his attacker, but I thought this was the best place to start looking. He was tall, dark hair, strong jaw and apparently has both superspeed and superstrength.

Please, if you have any idea of who this might be, let me know. Lex could have been killed. I have this funny feeling he would have been if I hadn't walked in.

So, I guess I'm going to need to find a job. I don't suppose anyone need a genius inventor, do they? I have all sorts of ideas that this city has never even heard of before, and no means of making them happen without some proper funding and supplies. With the right help, though, I could make both myself and someone else a lot of money on some very cutting-edge devices.

Oh! And I'm also very attractive, so I'm great when it comes to meeting investors and potential clients, too. Nothing says 'you can trust me' like a pretty face with brains to boot, after all!

GOKU!!! I KNOW YOU'RE SOMEHOW BEHIND THIS! WHERE ARE YOU?! WHAT SORT OF CREEPY THING CAME TO EARTH LOOKING FOR YOU THIS TIME, AND TURNED MY PERFECTLY NORMAL BACKYARD INTO THIS FILTHY PLACE??!! OH, JUST WAIT UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!

So. Will someone please explain to me why my backyard suddenly turned into a really big city? Or why this city has such a weird name? 'Los Angeles'. I've never head of anything like it, and I'm smart enough and have seen enough places to recognize weird things when I see them. This is pretty close to the top of that list.

So, where am I? And more importantly, how do I get home?!