bright light city

Xander, are you ok?

filtered; Xander

I think we should talk.

This thinking positive seems to be working. No girly parts for me.

( Anya )

So I went out yesterday and had atleast a dozen girls thinking I was Orlando Bloom and were asking me for autographs. It was so much fun! Who would have thought that I'd actually enjoy this experiment.

So Dawn and Anya are guys now too. I don't know who to be more amused by.

I guess I probably deserve this.

This is just great, Xander. You've turned me into a gay man. I'm bumpy in all the wrong places!

Edit: Jaeger!

I knew it was only a matter of time before Zenner got to me. Atleast I'm a hot guy!

Not that I don't appreciate the view, but what the hell Illyria?

Hi everyone!

So the soup kitchen has finally been finished and our grand opening is tomorrow. I'm looking for any able bodied volunteers who wouldn't mind helping the hopeless for a few hours. It's a part of the homeless shelter down the street so if you're up for it, just come on over anytime. I can promise good company, many grateful people, and delicious homemade cookies for all!

Just ask for Penny.

( Illyria )

( Buffy )

( Anya )

( Giles )

If anyone is looking for me, I'm building shelves in the back.

( Tara & Willow )
You guys busy?

( Xander )
Hey, I know you don't really know me cause we haven't... met yet, but I'm Buffy's sister Dawn. We're friends. And as a friend, I have to ask... will you be on my nerf war team?

( Illyria )
What's up, human shaped blue god person?

( Kitty )
I have a proposition for you.

Willow,

Here are the things Xander and I did in his basement:

- Laundry
- Sleeping
- Television watching
- Sex
- Sex with things
- Sex on things
- Other kinds of sex
- Babysitting Spike
- More sex.

Do you need specifics, or is that good enough? Xander's instructions weren't exactly a ray of clarity, you know.

I'm getting a bell. The big kind. So people can know when I'm coming.

And I'm knocking on all doors from now on. Even my own. Just to be safe.

Kidnapped to Vegas, unlimited credit card and cushy apartment. They're really trying to get the Stockholm Syndrome to set in early aren't they?

( Xander )
Giles is sleeping. I put something in his tea to help him rest. He needed it. It wasn't...I mean...I didn't drug him. I just put some herbs in...to make him fall asleep. Which isn't drugging...not really.

Anyway, I was hoping you could help me with the bodies Wesley and Dawn. We should bury them, so Giles and Buffy don't have to worry about it. They have enough to deal with.

( Xander, Willow, and Tara )

( filtered to the Scooby Manor )

( because we can all use a quick break from all this, an oldie, but a goodie )

Attention.

The following names are added to my list of humans for a temporary time until Claire Saunders is married in a human ceremony to Jocelyn Eldridge. They will not be harmed, and all threats apply. After this 'wedding' they will all be allowed to die without prejudice, unless it upsets the humans on my permanent list.

Selena Ramirez. Echo. Priya Tsetsang. Anthony Ceccoli. Adelle DeWitt. Laurence Dominic. Judith Miller. Jenny Humphrey. Topher Brink. Bennett Halverson.